Isaacs Picture Conclusions

DOCTOR, LAWYER, INDIAN CHIEF (2014) LET’S TALK…. LITERALLY…

DLIC1

Well – here we are today and I have before me the Still Remains of the new film by Pablo D’Stair. Not familiar?? For some of the newer Most Beloveds, Pablo is an independent director who came around the site here and asked me to review his first movie, good or bad. Well, I watched and give it a good rogering and he was a really good fucking sport about it. If you weren’t around yet or don’t remember, a bunch of us had a good time that day and you could always check it out HERE. For real – click that link before you read this, if you don’t know about that post.

Anyway – a few weeks ago, Mr D’Stair came around asking people who looked at A Public Ransom if they’d like to look at his new film (this one) and if so, if we’d like to review it. Β And I’m getting ready to. But first, I am sure Pablo would like any sort of feedback on his new film and, if you were interested, you can check it out in its entirety HERE. Pablo is a good bloke and always seems to be willing to talk about his work, whether you like it or not.

Before I get on with this, or even Get It On with this, I want to again reinforce that I am a HUGE defender and proponent of Independent Film – I even support them when I can afford it. I appreciate when someone gets their shit made – good or bad – because I’ve never made a movie. Fuck – I started writing a screenplay SEVEN fucking years ago and never finished it. So – whether I like something or not, it’s better than the movie I’ve made which is Jack Shit.

So, like we did before, I’ll split this up into two small reviews – one for the Professional Gentleman (because that’s what I am) and…. an IPC version….

Review One (BONG!!!!!!!)

Pablo – thanks again for giving me the opportunity to look at your movie! I remember we didn’t see eye to eye on the last one but I still appreciated you made it. You know I am honest out here (and in real life) so I can tell you that I liked this one better. You might remember, I’m not a big fan of dialogue heavy movies but… I did like it better. I appreciate the restraint of the lead and the lack of constant arm waving this time around. I don’t totally get what the title is all about and could have used some closure at the end but – you totally nailed it with the song over the end credits. I listened to that four times. Nice find! I wish you good fortunes and hope you keep it up!

Review Two (BONG!!!!!!)

Well, Probies, our friend Pablo made another movie and asked me to look at it. It took awhile to get to because I can’t stream movies where I normally watch them any more but I took a day off recently and gave it a look. I have to tell you – because I love you – that, I did like this more than A Public Ransom – I did – but it’s still just a group of people standing around talking non-stop. I mean NON STOP. I don’t think I’ve EVER seen a grown man talk so goddamned much. At least he doesn’t wave his arms all over the fucking place like a monkey this time around. Someone throw this guy some money so we can get a little action in his next thing. Something to take away from all the yapping.

This time around a man and a woman are arguing. Then the man argues with someone else. Then he argues with his wife again. Then he argues with a chick in a parking lot. Then his wife goes missing and he argues with her brother. Then he argues with a private detective. Then he argues with the fiance of the chick in the parking lot who has also gone missing. Then the wife shows back up after three weeks and they argue a little bit and kiss.

There were a couple of things I liked in here though – at one point the lead is talking to the private dick and he asks “You’re not a very good private detective are you?” and he replies “No, not really.” and I LOL-d a little. Also – over the credits a song called “Don’t Fuck With Love” by a band called The Sad Little Stars plays. I totally liked that song and would even add it to the five songs on my iPad if ever think about it again. In any case – I liked this one better than the first outing but still….. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

58 comments

  1. Lol. It’s hilarious that you can’t handle movies with TALKING in them. Weirdo. ; )

    And…. “I totally liked that song and would even add it to the five songs on my iPad if ever think about it again.” – OMG! We found another song Eric likes! Holy shit! He can take GWAR & the Toadies off his iPad finally!!! ; )

    Btw – um… What is this movie actually about? Other than talking and arguing & less arm waving than last time???

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      Too much fucking talking… sometimes people just need to zip it : )

      #zipthelips

      I’m not taking my four songs off my iPad!!!!!

      Oh and – to be honest – I’m not 100% totally sure what this was all about. I was too busy listening to a bunch of people talking to figure out the plot πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ha–tell you what, when I finish the third film in the cycle (AVID) I’ll use title cards for each scene: SCENE ONE: In which a husband confronts a wife over a deception….SCENE FOUR: In which a husband is revealed to be a philanderer haha. And so forth. (SCENE SIX: in which, finally, there are some tits πŸ™‚ haha

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Cheers, once again, for the fun, from the guttness of your take, mate, I always appreciate it. Yes: The Sad Little stars are an incredible band–the two songs of theirs I use in the film and everything else they do–I’ve lucked in to directly knowing or being one removed from a fuck load of great bands to class up my films with πŸ™‚ I’ll let them know ya dug it.

    And I know I promised you I’d try to you some tits into this film…but I fucked up and went the opposite direction, haha. Lots of talk, all the subtext, but I can explain, man, I can explain: I have a simple game I play as a filmmaker–while I do a screenplay, I watch a bunch of Indie films and for (*) every titles/montage sequence of a car driving along with nondescript soundtrack overtop I add a line of dialogue (*) every time someone in the front seat turns to tell the people in the back seat to stop kissing or the driver glances at the them making out in the rearview I add three lines of dialogue (*) every time someone is duct taped to a chair I add seven lines of dialogue (*) every time a girl arbitrarily takes off her top as she and her boyfriend head off to their room while the sad friend says something to the other girl then takes a drink I add eleven lines of dialogue haha–:) and on and on (I’m being fatuous, sorry)

    Anyway–I do love you piece, here, and cheers for slogging through what we both knew was likely not gonna be yer cuppa (it was shorter though, than A Public Ransom, I threw you a bone there) πŸ™‚ And though you mentioned the film is free, which it is, I thought I’d toss in one of the teaser trailers, here, just so people can get a tone (nothing against your snarky, reductionist synopsis, haha, nothing at all, I actually want to use that as the back of the DVD synopsis, haha) https://vimeo.com/100041311

    Keep doing what you do, sir.

    –Pablo D’Stair (writer/director Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief)

    Liked by 5 people

      • In my defense, the first draft of any of my screenplays starts with at least a dozen scenes unrelated to the central premise requiring tits flashing (at least people running late and having to hrry around thier apartments in panties)…then these portions are slowly redacted because if left in the world would not understand my art! haha (and I’m too creepy looking to get anyone to agree to, you know, do that in front of a camera around me 😦 . Tits…bunch of talking…tits….bunch of talking…”ah, I’m late, better move room to room in my panties!….bunch of talking…Cut to Black! Ah, the woes of the writing process πŸ™‚

        Liked by 3 people

      • In honesty, my first scrawl to myself about the film was “Style: make it like Harold Pinter adapted a Patricia Highsmith short story for the screen and we got Ida Lupino to direct” haha. I don’t think The IPC would cut me a check for that 😦 Though I might be confusing things with how much online porn I watched between writing each scene…that makes sense when I read back my comment…which I don’t know why I’m typing…except I apparently do not know how to properly filter interior monologue out of my interface with modern technology…fuck….

        Liked by 1 person

      • theipc

        I’m thinking Laura’s Toys meets Harry Keeler at his weirdest and we’re in business!!

        Like “The Mysterious Ivory Ball of Wong Shing Li” but NOT “The Man Who Changed His Skin”

        πŸ™‚

        Like

      • Haha–never have I been prouder that I am less adept at Joe Sarno references than someone else, haha. Phew. Not being the connoisseur you are, I’ll defer to your take on the matter, haha. I mean, or we could split the difference and go for…what was it called…The Sex Adventures of Bedman and Throbbin’? haha that’s all I’ve got, Sarno reference wise, sorry, man 😦 Looks like my smut reference ego is writing checks my actual referential knowledge can’t cash…you win this time, mate.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. My Sinner of Few Words,

    LOL I love this. Sounds like an improvement, love that you support independent film. It is an industry that needs it! Great review split, but I couldn’t choose only one side and naturally read my way through both. Fantastic stuff!

    Love,

    JB

    Liked by 1 person

  4. He asked you to do another one?! Color me surprised!! Hahaha. πŸ˜‰ It’s great that you’ve been pulled in on this, buddy! You’re just gonna become an indie film connoisseur! I mean, or go right back to boobs and violence. But at least you’re shaking things up!! Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha–it’s a bit from column A, a bit from column B, really. You never know–some really swell folks (here, for example) find my crap ain’t there cuppa (my stuff is very love/loathe, to begin with, very much cause it’s supposed to be) but are the sort of lads and ladies one is glad to know….and sometimes it is the opposite. Quick funny story (I think it’s funny anyway): When my first film was first out and only had two kind of insubstantial, mostly negative reviews in, I suddenly got a wonderful review–I mean, not only “scored well” but it was articulate, it was insightful, it was thorough–almost an essay on the piece and (more important) it seemed the critic really GOT the film. I was giddy. So giddy, I looked around the rest of this individual’s site only to discover…yep, this person was a big time, full blown Holocaust denier, anti-Semite, anti-woman (misogynist doesn’t begin to be a strong enough word) etc etc with links on their site to white supremacist groups, other “the holocaust din’t happen” sites and about as much crazy shite as you could imagine. Needless to say, I was in a very big existential pickle haha. I mean…the review was great (this person had a good eye for cinema and good analytic and insights….but…the other stuff, you know? haha…yeah). It was trippy because I was like “Why the fuck is the one person (at that time) to like and seemingly understand my film…also of the mind that a genocide didn’t happen and that women are “responsible for any violence that happens to them”?. haha. It was awful, I felt awful, personally. (thankfully, I’ve since had wonderful reviews from non-pieces-of-shit so I feel a bit steadier on my feet) So–early on I came to appreciate the quality of the audience as much (and at times more) than whether they personally find my work laudable. I’ll be pelting the IPC with the third film in the cycle when it’s done, too πŸ™‚ This place is great. Anyway–end of fatuous story etc.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Cheers, Abbi, but not a bit of it πŸ™‚ Only pussies make art-house films and then hang out with the art-house crowd, haha. I come to the IPC specifically to feel punk rock. I mean, if I want someone to tell me how great I am, fuck, I have myself to do that all day long, haha–and I do…and I am, haha, see? I’m doing it in this very comment ;). What is it Dylan sings? “As great as you are, man, you’ll never be greater than yourself.” If I made films like I make and never had responses like I get here…then it’d be “poor me” living in some cloistered land of faux-intellectual security, haha.

      Liked by 1 person

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