Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004) FOUR TOP HATS

SDEAD1

Do you remember this? I do – I remember this came with a LOT of hype surrounding it – and you might know that a lot of hype to me usually translates into “I’m going to fucking hate it” and “I’ll probably never watch it” – so I went into this loaded with Hate and loaded on Tequila and Grass and after it was over I was pissed (and Pissed) and turned to my friend and drunkenly growled that I hated it. Ten years later and 76 Copy Cat movies later, I watched it again and you know what – this movie is REALLY fucking funny (and very good). That sequence where Shaun is trying to use that Tether Ball pole against the zombie in the robe and the two chicks are urging him to impale him with it is an absolute crack up and I watched it over and over. This movie fucking WINS, too much hype or not…

And, since everyone has seen this or at least knows what it’s about, let’s look at some case studies of Notable Wins or Fails from The Book of The IPC (with some random pics from SotD scattered throughout)SDEAD2

THE YEAR: 2001

THE SETTING: NEW ORLEANS

THE CASE: For his 30th birthday, The IPC, Mrs. Soon to be IPC, Scrotey, Hambone and (excuse me) The Jew, head down to the heat of Bourbon Street. After drinking Hurricanes all day and currently sitting on a balcony watching drunk people wobble by, Scrotey and The IPC decide to drop their pants and MOON Bourbon Street. They do, to little applause, and good times are had. Minutes later, at the table next to us, a couple of drunk men are trying to impress a couple of drunk women to get their tits out and go screw in their hotel rooms. After some giggling and Grab Assing, one of the dudes pops his fucking eyeball out, puts it in his drink and drinks it.

THE VERDICT: WIN for the guy with fake eyeball.
SDEAD3

THE YEAR: 1997

THE SETTING: VARIOUS SPOTS

THE CASE: The IPC heads over to The Swede’s house to watch his favorite team, The Green Bay Packers, win the Super Bowl. He also drinks an IPC record 44 beers. Late for work the next morning, remembering nothing about the TWO BLOCKS it took to get home, he heads outside to go to work, noticing his pick-up has a flat tire, the driver’s side window is broken and there are bamboo shoots sticking out of the broken window. Later, after getting a ride to work, a co-worker approaches him and asks “Did you really get drunk and wake up with bamboo sticking out of your ass?”

THE VERDICT: FAILsdead4

THE YEAR: PROBABLY EARLY 90s

THE SETTING: SCROTEY’S MOM’S DRIVEWAY, SOME HOUSE PARTY

THE CASE:  A still sporty IPC drinks a bunch of beer and decides to hit a beer bottle into the neighbor’s yard with a baseball bat. The bat makes contact and the beer bottle explodes all over him, lacerating him and getting brown shards of glass all over his wicked smart jean jacket. A few months later, sporting fashionable cowboy boots, The IPC drinks a bunch of beer and decides to drop kick someone’s pumpkin, set out for Halloween.  His foot makes contact with the heavy gourd and is immediately crushed to the ground, injuring him.

THE VERDICT: FAILsdead5

THE YEAR: 1985

THE SETTING: MIDDLE SCHOOL

THE CASE: A young and awkward IPC is growing into his tall body; he is long and lean and his bones hurt and he’s just getting into trying to fail at making out with chicks. Taking his tray to the cafeteria to dispose of his used dinnerware, he trips over this clumsy feet and falls face first into a bowl of Chipped Beef and wallows around in it for a minute (like Nick Nolte in the Cape Fear remake) to the jeers and laughter of a dining hall filled with a hundred kids (and chicks). When he finally gets up he looks like he shit all over himself and then has to get a new shirt from the on campus Lost and Found. When he finally emerges back into the dining hall, waiting for the bell to ring, it’s pointed out to him that he’s wearing a girl’s shirt.

THE VERDICT: FAIL

SDEAD6

THE YEAR: LATE 70s

THE SETTING: A STRICT AND HOLY BAPTIST CHURCH IN SMALL TOWN AMERICA

THE CASE: A young and naive and impressionable IPC sits in a Baptist church listening to some guy preach for an eternity at sinners and then request money to pay for his shit. Miserable, the young boy passes a loud THBTHBTHBTHBTHBTHBT-y fart on the wooden pews, to the appall of his Holy Baptist Grandparents. He is removed from church and subsequently returned to the Big City to his father. The circumstances are detailed and the farting IPC is given twenty beatings on his ass with the Be Good Paddle and grounded from TV or radio for one month.

THE VERDICT: FAIL

HMMMMMMM – there’s not many wins on this page…. maybe I’ve been doing things wrong…

53 comments

  1. My Beloved PSC,

    Well, that was quite the win, fail, fail, fail, fail list. I think the odds have been unfairly skewed there!

    Glad to hear you liked it. Are we going to be seeing a Hot Fuzz review sometime?

    Love,

    JB

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      Kidney!!!!

      Well – this is a good one if you ever get a chance! 🙂

      Yep – I bought a 24 pack and went back and bought another 24 pack after the game and there were only four left the next day….

      Bloated Pappy

      Like

  2. Farting in church is an automatic win!

    This movie is great. And one of my top reviews on my blog from back when people actually read my shit! Woohoo!

    Holy shit. That’s a lot of beer, dude. Thank god you’re 8 feet tall…

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      1. What did they want me to do??? EXPLODE????

      2. Hey!!! We agree on something again!!!

      C. Yep – I used to be able to get after it….

      Like

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