I didn’t know much about this movie – or why I even Netflix-ed it – so when it showed up I was all – what the fuck is this PG-13 shit? Then I saw Emily Browning and I was all: “JAIL BAIT!!!!!” (JB) and put this in and watched a couple of skinny, teenage girls slink around in their short shorts and two piece bikinis for an hour an a half and it was really fucking boring. I mean, you can’t go wrong with Elizabeth Banks in tight tank tops but…. this really was Yawnsville….
But then came a big twist near the end that I didn’t see coming and it redeemed the whole goddamn thing for me but, aside from that, I can’t really give this one to you like a ripe plum and say “eat this, you’ll fucking love it” because it really is just a couple of mopey girls moping around most of the run time. They mope on a dock:
They mope in a bath tub:
They mope out a window:
And then there’s the big twist where I was like: “FUCKING NICE” and I kind of want to watch it again to see how the twist worked DURING the movie but I already sent it back and don’t feel like queuing it up again so fuck it. Actually, I don’t even know if this is really Elizabeth Banks so fuck that too:
Also: fuck this heat and fuck heartburn and fuck these shoestrings and fuck lower back pain and fuck Diet Pepsi and fuck mayonnaise and fuck the elevator situation here at work and fuck that lady that calls me by name in EVERY sentence she says to me and fuck this age spot on my arm and fuck this voicemail and fuck scorpions that sneak into our building and fuck this belt-loop that ripped and fuck that I misspelled “beltloop” and it changed it to “bellhop” and fuck this garbage bag of newspapers that I have to haul down three flights of stairs to my truck and fuck this chair:
Eric, i’m actually really pissed off right now. Eric, this shitty film is a remake of my favourite Korean horror movie. It’s called A Tale of Two Sisters, Eric, and its amazing. I hate you Eric
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I love you too, mom!
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I had no idea this was a remake!
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Neither did I!
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Lots of hawt girls … Pretty meh film! Haven’t seen the original Korean version which this is based on, it’s apparently supposed to be much better!
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I need to check out the original….
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My Beloved PSC,
I laughed myself silly att “…fuck scorpions that sneak into our building…” sneaky bastards!! Jeesh, have they no respect?
Yeah this was a pretty bland one, though I did like that twist that came by the end. Moping all over the show though, it got old quickly.
Love.
JB
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JBJSSB,
HA!!!!! Fucking bugs!!!!
Love,
PSC
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My Dear GSC,
We found one outside a few months back. I was all like wtf, hadn’t found one of them nearby our house before. It was huge, but it wasn’t of the poisonous variety, thank goodness.
Love,
JJBSB
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JJBSB,
FUCKING DISGUSTING. At least the ones we get around here are really small. I would probably die if I saw a big one.
Love,
SSC
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Dear Disgusted GSC,
Yeah, the only reason I didn’t beat it out with a broom when I saw it is because I had a friend with me who has a degree in… hell something zoology and stuff related (plants and animals) and he took it with a friend and they let it out free in the veld nearby. Crazy stuff.
They are bizarre creatures.
Love,
SSB
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SSB,
I probably would have ran inside and hoped some other of the food chain would have gotten after it… like one of those giant wild cats you’ve mentioned….
#shivers
Love,
DGSC
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Dear DGSC,
LOL! Oh wow, there was my laugh for the day. I can just see giant Spock Chop fleeing from one of these! LOL!
Love,
Giggling JB
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DOJB,
I just can’t do it with fucking things like that…
#disgusting
Love,
GSC
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Once again, a review that captures the very essence of the film 🙂
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You know how I roll!
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Pappy!!
Sounds very shitty. I do like Arielle Kebbel (it can be Arienne???) in Vampire Diaries, but I do suspect that you’ve never watched that.
Great Review!
Kidney
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Kidney!!
It was fairly boring until the end… You “might” like it….
Nope, never seen that (them?)…
Pappy
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I like this one!!!! As you know. ; ) I’ll watch the original fairly soon – bought it ages ago! Will let you know my verdict on which is better. So you can disagree. ; )
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I know you did 🙂 I didn’t HATE it or anything….
I’ll watch the first one too and see if we argue like two cats in a sack….
#catsinasack
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MEOW! 🙂
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MEOW PUSSYCAT!!!!
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Well that escalated quickly.
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Tends to around here, doesn’t it….
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No it’s a load of bollocks this film. I’ll give credit where it’s due – the twist is handled well but like you, I couldn’t be arsed going back to check consistency. I reviewed this as well and I was bored to tears. You’ve summed it up better than I did!
Tell you what, threading a bellhop through a belt-loop… not gonna be happy that bellhop.
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Well… thank you very kindly!
Speaking of mystery things, I have a very impressive bruise on the inside of my elbow… I wonder how that happened…
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Hahaha but hopefully not fuck Labor Day and some time off, eh? 😉 Hey! I’ve actually seen this one! It was okay…but yeah. I’d say 3 top hats is about right–maybe even less.
#labordayprobies
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Absolutely not! But fuck that fucking chair!!!!
#weworkhardforourdaysoff
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MopeMopeGROPE
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Now we’re talking!
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I think I saw the Korean film this was based on, and that film was awesome! Typical remakes ruining everything!
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That seems to be the consensus on this thing… I need to check it out!!
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“A Tale Of Two Sisters” was pretty awesome. Sorry to chime in, but it was much better.
http://emveeart77.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/a-tale-of-two-sisters/
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I queued it up yesterday 🙂
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I seem to remember quite liking this one, but then I end up watching a lot of SHIT so anything that isn’t TOTALLY SHIT can seem good by comparison. I’ve seen it more than once because I can never seem to remember I’ve already seen it, so I suppose that’s a bad sign!
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Me too!! Our friend Cara gets on my tits because I like some things that most people probably wouldn’t because I watch so much SHIT that things like Paranormal Activity 4 don’t come across as too bad….
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Exactly: it’s all relative! I’m definitely going to try and catch the original, maybe that’ll change my perception of this one.
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YEP!!
#soulmates
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Absolutely hilarious once again! You’re so imaginative 🙂
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Why, thank you! Thank you very much, you raccoon 🙂
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That chair is a piece of crap. Absolute shit. As bas as mayo and your elevator. Horrible!
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