Apparently this is also called “NYMPH” so forgive any confusion I might have caused. This was the only poster I could find that fit my theme. The poster that I saw when I first saw this pop up on iTunes featured a barely clothed chick wading in some water with that fishy tail close by – so, naturally I looked at the trailer. Honestly, while the title KILLER MERMAID sounds a little dodgy, I thought the trailer looked good and – WHAT?? Franco Nero???? WOO HOO!! I was sold.
This even starts off a little fun with a comely looking couple sightseeing somewhere. That night her shirt happens to pop off while Making Out but the guy isn’t interested because he’s being seduced by something in the water. So seduced, in fact, that he jumps in and disappears for the rest of the movie. As she’s screaming for help, still sans blouse, some stranger comes up and kills her with what looks like some sort of anchor. CHOP!!!
Cut to a couple of decent looking chicks swimming and sunbathing on their way to the Mediterranean. The lead of this was last observed beating off punching a pregnant woman in the stomach with a brick in the miserable PROXY. It appears the other is an actress named Natalie Burn and, aside from Nero, everyone else in here appears to be Serbian.
I don’t ever care if anyone is Serbian or not, as long as they make a good movie and, despite having trouble understanding what they were saying, this was actually going along pretty good for a while. The film looks crisp in HD and it was awful gory and eventually we get to the Mermaid and she’s pretty and F/X are very well done regarding her tail. But….. I hate to dog on someone’s work when it’s apparent that they TRIED but…. when Mermaid goes from Seductress Mermaid to Killer Mermaid, I actually had a laugh and couldn’t really take it seriously throughout the rest of it. Here’s a before and after.
I think that’s about this for this. I think they did try and make a good movie here – a good gory movie – but aside from that and some skinny chicks slinking around in two piece bathing suits, the Killer Mermaid just didn’t work for KILLER MERMAID.
Honestly it sounds like “Seductress Mermaid” would’ve made a much better film.
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HA HA Dave!
Or, maybe if she could’ve been a killer mermaid without changing into some sort of hideous, CGI, piranha, skeleton mermaid. Can’t a mermaid still kill and be good looking???
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Dearest Texan Spock Chop,
Uhm… I don’t think there is any way you can sell me this movie!
Love,
JJB
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SJB,
Remember – this place exists because I watch things so you don’t have to. I protect and serve. You wouldn’t like this one bit.
Always on The Wall,
TSC
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Dear TSC,
Your sacrifice will never go unnoticed!
Love,
JB
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SJB,
I’m always here for you.
Love,
PSC
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This actually doesn’t sound half bad, plus I’m a sucker for hawt mermaids; I might give this a whirl if I find myself epically bored one night!
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Let me know what you think.
Recommended Aperitifs:
Three Shots Jager
One six pack Heineken
Twelve Medium Hot Chicken Wings with a side of Ghost Pepper Sauce for dipping
1/4 Cup Ranch Dressing
Toilet Paper
Enjoy!
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Hahahaha, thank you for the recommendations kind sir :p
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I live to serve.
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In Portuguese, my name sounds exactly like the word mermaid. Where did yoy find this movie? Lol
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How pretty!!
LOL – iTunes US : )
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Hot.
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Like your butthole after a bucket of Jalapeno Poppers???
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Who killed the girl at the beginning, if not the killer mermaid? Was it a coincidence that there’s someone else going around killing people? How dangerous is a mermaid as killers go, I mean, you’re ok if you steer clear of the beach, right? Also, why did the killer mermaid shape-shift when they clearly didn’t have the money/expertise to pull off the sfx? So many questions about this!
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This thing is a fucking puzzle, I tell you. A FUCKING PUZZLE!!!!
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Mermaids suck, but Mermen are pretty awesome!
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You and Mutant can have – um – how do I put this gently… um – Not Dry Dreams about your Mermen.
#wet
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LOL Do you remember the day we searched for Merman pics on Twitter! Fabulous day! #splurt
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HAHAHAHA I do LOLOLOLOL
#splurt
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Where’s Aquaman when you need him???
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Humping Khaleesi???
#spelling
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You should have canned this and watched ‘The Little Barmaid’ (XXX) 😀
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If only I had consulted you first!!!!!! Regrets!!!
Consider me intrigued.
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This looks like one I should check out. Especially when she is Killer Mermaid mode
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I’m listening….
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Jesus wept, I think I’ve seen it all now!
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YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT YOU DID!!!
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Dude, your photoshop on that poster is one of your shittier efforts.
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HA!!! I didn’t make that shit!!!
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I find this film intriguing but I’m really put off by that mermaid’s sharkey dolphin face!
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I like how that’s totally a fake boob too!
#fakies
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I don’t know what Lars Von Trier was thinking when he made this one…
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LOL
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
🙂
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Eeeeek Killer Mermaid looks scary to me in that last pic!!! What’s going on with merpeople lately??? I feel like the Probies have had 7,000 Twitter conversations about them…
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Hooker,
I’m not 100% sure of the draw lately BUT – I did just get an email that the call center people on the second floor here are having a baked potato sale on Friday to benefit United Way. Want to come eat a potato with me?? I’ll buy!!!
Giantess
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Giantess,
I very much wish I could join you for a baked potato lunch, but alas–that’s my first day on the new job! It would probably not leave a good impression if I ran off to another state in the middle of the. Sorry, bro. Eat a delicious potato or two for me!!
Hooker
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Hooker,
Understood. Maybe I’ll try and mail you one.
Shorty
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…Please don’t mail me a potato.
#moldyspud
#nothanks
#probielove
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Moldy spud!!
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
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#MikeBoyd
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LOL!!! Look out, America–the Moldy Spud is on his way…
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I LOVE it!!!
#moldyspud
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