As the winner of Shitfest Summer 2014 I wanted to write a really nice acceptance post about how my statue, who I have named Liz after the main character in Eat, Pray, Loathe, is enhancing my home but to be perfectly honest with you Liz is ruining my life. She has been absolutely nothing but trouble since she arrived in my home.
First she helped herself to more than her share of the whisky and Marlboros…
Then she menaced the elephants that live above the fireplace.
When that got boring she snuck into bed with Mr O.
That made her hungry so she first ate all of Mr O’s favourite snacks.
And when that wasn’t enough she helped herself to the trash.
The combination of all the above ended very, very badly.
Frankly we’ve been forced to lock her in the storage cupboard to stop her from tearing the whole flat apart.
Cara, if the offer of adopting her as a mate for Miguel still stands I’m definitely up for it but I have to warn you that you’ll have your hands full. I think she was cast in a demon forge.