Isaacs Picture Conclusions

HALF ASS REVIEWS – LIFE OF CRIME (2013) TWO TOP HATS

LOC1

This movie sucked. It tried WAY to hard to be cute and catchy and trendy and avant garde and cool and hip and retro-stylish and it just came across as trying WAY TOO FUCKING hard. You’ve seen this exact same thing in almost EVERY Elmore Leonard adaptation but this time you get Will Forte with a moustache, Isla Fisher in a bikini and 70s panties and Tim Robbins looking like a fucking vampire. I hated this movie as much as I hated Trucker Hats, Planking, Tebowing and The Macarena.  PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.LOC2

P.S. I like Mos Def but I can barely understand a word that comes out of his mouth sometimes.

P.P.S. Since this post was not much of anything let’s see if I can get something better out this afternoon. Well – not necessarily better – since I have set the bar pretty low for future generations of people writing about movies – but – something else.

44 comments

  1. Yeah I am a massive Mos Def/yasiin bey fan, but I agree he is often mad hard to understand. In my mind, you are always wearing a trucker hat. Don’t you live in a swamp somewhere in Louisiana? Thought all you swamp dudes wore trucker hats? I don’t know what to believe in anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lem

    Hey man, I didn’t love this either. I’ll say this though, it was 10 times better than Gone Girl. This was just kind of nothing, like background muzak. Gone Girl was heinously awful, Fincher is officially a must-avoid filmmaker at this point – and Reznor’s plauding faux Eno music as wallpaper score made it even worse. (for me) 🙂 Although the early 20s crowd sitting behind us seemed to love it. Maybe if I hadn’t read the book and had no idea what was going to happen it may have been a little more interesting. 2 1/2 hours – just crazy – a lot of story to tell, for sure, but it didn’t need to be that long. (I digress) – I like Mos Def in this – didn’t realize that was who it was – just knew he was the only character I liked. Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      Uh oh – we may go DOWN HARD!!!!! on Gone Girl… I actually liked it but thought it was way too fucking long…. I didn’t really pay any attention to the music….

      Like

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