Isaacs Picture Conclusions

HORNS (2013) THREE CUTANEOUS HORNS

HORNS1

(Be careful if you’re not familiar with the term “Cutaneous Horns” and you go look that up on Google images….)

So…. yeah… I really wanted to like this more than I did. I like Alexandre Aja and I like demons and I like boobs and I like modern shit and I like Joe Anderson and all of that but I think I didn’t like this as much as some people because I didn’t read the book and I just didn’t get some of it. I imagine there will be some spoilers at the bottom of this post so, if you haven’t read the book and want to see the movie, well, there’s that. I just have questions about some of the things that happen in here. Another thing… I just can’t get into this guy at all. I don’t hate him or anything it’s just – I see him doing interviews on talk shows and he hosted Saturday Night Live once and he’s so fucking hyper and fidgety I just can’t get into him at all.HORNS2

Things like this bother me a little – when it’s almost like you HAVE to have read the book to get it. I mean – WHY did he grow horns in the first place? Why did they make everyone tell him everything they thought? Why didn’t anyone care that a guy was going around the city with horns growing out of his head? Did Heather Graham REALLY say “I told them you killed her and then raped her in her butt!”?? Also – what’s with all the fucking snakes??HORNS3

I didn’t really buy into Juno Temple either. I’m not that familiar with her but her accent sounded totally fake.HORNS4

And there’s the big, epic final showdown. I guess these horn are supposed to be some sort of allegory on inner demons??? So – in the big battle there, why does he turn into lava man? And – if he’s lava and hell fire and burning rage – why does that pitchfork wound him so badly? Wouldn’t it melt???HORNS5

I do give it up for the special effects squad though. Aja has an excellent team working for him when it comes to that shit. I don’t know – the whole thing just didn’t really work for me. I think someone else would have been a better casting choice than Pooter.

66 comments

  1. Dearest and Kindest Chop,

    Check how in sync we are with reviews the last two weeks hahaha.

    Sorry you didn’t like this so much. I had a total blast, though there were flaws. Most of the questions you had were answered in the books, and NO, Heather Graham’s character was not like that in the book, either. I can’t stand her. Meh.

    Love,

    IJB

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I liked this okay…but the book is so much better. Just is. You should read it!!! And yeah, Heather Graham didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose in this film other than: “Look at me! I’m Heather Graham!” Kind of dumb…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I thought the book was ok although it really dragged in the middle, when it flashes back to Potter and co. as kids, when he first meets Juno Temple. I liked Joe Hill’s writing style and am going to read some more of his stuff but I’m not rushing to watch this one.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorry to hear this one is “meh”. I was looking forward to it although reviews haven’t been good. Gotta check out some work from the son of Stephen King at some point, though. 🙂 I’ll probably start with a book…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Do you know how tempted I am to look up “Cutaneous Horns”?!! Like very but I will not because I fear it will be something disgusting. The trailer to this looked interesting but I feared it would suck. Glad I didn’t see it, nice review Eric as always. #nohorns #onlyballers

    Liked by 1 person

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