Isaacs Picture Conclusions

V/H/S VIRAL (2014) PRETTY DISAPPOINTING

VHS2A

Happy Monday!! Who’s ready for their Monday Spankings???? Line up! OOOOOOOOOOH VHS VIRAL….  here you’ve come and gone…. TA TA!! Toodle-oo!! Hasta la Vista! Don’t let the door hit ya where the lord split ya. I kind of liked the first one – for what it was, I like anthologies… but I was disappointed with the second. I thought the second was way OVERDONE for it’s own good, but it tried. Now, here’s the third one which I found 75% lame and not really worth the time it took to watch it.  Sorry guys, not my favorite. I’m going to break up with you over Text Messaging.

I suppose, instead of posting my notes that I didn’t take for this, I’ll make some remarks about the installments and, since I don’t know what they are individually called, I’ll just call them by what people will remember them by. Spoilers follow.

“The One With the Magician”:
VHS3B

This is by the guy who did DANCE OF THE DEAD which I liked probably more than I should have. An actor who shows up occasionally in horror movie inherits Harry Houdini’s cape and he finds instant fame by performing real magic. But it comes with a cost – the cape needs to “harvest” human bodies to keep going. All of which the magician records on his digital movie recorder which, for some reason, produces V/H/S tapes. Sometimes filmed like a documentary and sometimes filmed as a baffling “who the fuck is filming this fight scene”, this segment was pretty sucky, IMO, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

“The One With the HooHaw That Eats a Guy’s Head”:VHS3D

This one is from the guy who made one of my favorite time travel movies ever: TIMECRIMES. In this one, a dude makes a machine that opens a portal to another dimension that’s exactly like ours, except it’s Hell. This is easily the best of the bunch even though it’s a little awkward when this woman opens up her robe and her lady parts eat her husband’s head. Strangely enough, this is also all filmed on a Digital Camera that has nothing to do with VCR tapes.

VHS3C

“The One With the Fucking Skateboarders that You Want to Kill With Your Own Bare Hands“:

VHS3E

This one follows three or four bags of puke as they skateboard, smoke dope and drink. I guarantee you’ll hate the fucks and won’t be able to do anything but wait for them to get torn to shreds by whatever those Mexican demons are in that canal. Note: filmed with GoPro cameras, these also have nothing to do with Video Home Systems that play V/H/S tapes.

“The Reacharound Wraparound Story With the Ice Cream Truck That Makes no Fucking Sense”:

VHS3F

This one starts off with two people filming themselves with a digital camera, being all cute and cuddly. Later, an Ice Cream Truck races through the streets and the girl mysteriously disappears. Our lead presumes she’s in the truck so he chases after it on a bike, filming everything. They pass some sort of Hispanic picnic where someone goes batshit and kills everyone, a perv in the back of a limo trying to get some girl to take off her panties and when he finally catches it, there’s no one in it but a bunch of computer monitors. His girlfriend comes on the computer and tells him to upload the videos to the internet and he does. Then it’s over and this really made me appreciate THE ABCs OF DEATH 2.

36 comments

  1. Zoë

    Dear Chop,

    Great work here, sorry to hear you were disappointed. I have tried numerous times to watch V/H/S and I have never made it through the first ten or fifteen minutes, so I don’t think I will ever get to this.

    Damn, that lady has a severely dangerous HooHaw!

    Love,

    JJB

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Mr. Movie

    I loved V/H/S 2, particularly ‘Safe Haven,’ this however was kinda meh! I didn’t mind the time traveling story, it had potential, but just didn’t get there! The whole film though was a bit of a let down given the quality of the first 2 films!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. nicolenevermind76

    We have very similar (and clearly, awesome) taste. I too dug the first one for what it was. Fairly original idea, fun, not fantastic but definitely not bad. The second one tried way too hard and really wasn’t any fun at all. I haven’t seen the most recent and, based on your review, I’m not in any hurry to change that. Maybe I’ll throw it on as background noise sometime when I’m up late writing. But I’d likely only glance up to watch the bits where there’s a carnivorous vagina and annoying kids being offed by demons.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      Yes we sure do, Nicole! And I love it! We should totally do something together sometime.

      That’s about how good this is – background filler with head eating vaginas.

      Like

      Reply
  11. caragale

    Since I have a weird fondness for these movies and I kind of want to check this out, I skimmed this for now, Giantess, but I’m sure you did a lovely job!!! I shall return and compare notes later…if I remember. :/

    #xoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Laura

    Hmm…I saw the first one and, although there were a couple of segments I didn’t utterly detest with every fibre of my being, I still kind of hated it. In fact, I think it might have been the subject of my first ever post!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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