Here’s part 2 of our big double feature for the day!! Enjoy!!
AHHHHHHHH – Silent Night, Deadly Night…. one of my childhood favorites!! Do you know that I actually saw this at a Drive – In?? No lie!! The last one I ever went to. So, for those of you who follow the DRIVE IN site – YOU KNOW I’m gonna put something out there about this too, although it will probably be much more… racy. So, yep, saw this at the Drive – In when I was a kid and forgot about it until a few years ago when it finally got released on DVD and I watch at least once a year. This has it all – blood – stabbings with a box knife – gratuitous boobs – impalement by Stag antlers – horrible nuns – you name it! This is totally worth it if you’ve never seen it and are fond of 70s / 80s slashers.
It’s Christmas Eve and Billy and his family are on their way home from visiting Grandpa in the insane asylum. There, crazy old catatonic Gramps had come out of his coma and threatened Billy that “Santa punishes naughty boys” so he’d better watch his ass. Sure enough, the family stops to help a dude on the side of the road sporting a Santa suit and – yep – Santa guns down the dad and kills his mom right there in the street. Luckily Billy found a place to hide (in plain sight) and he and his baby brother survive the ordeal.
A number of years later, he’s a fucked up little kid at an an orphanage run by the bastardly Mother Superior who isn’t afraid to dole out some bare ass whippin’s when a bare ass whippin’ is called for. You see, ever since that night, rightfully, when Billy sees Santa, he associates it with the death of his parents so he’s not really into that whole scene. On the eve of his whipping, above, the orphanage had a Santa over to dish out some presents. Mother Superior tried to set him on Santa’s lap so he clocked him a good one and bloodied the man’s nose. Kids today! Or — Yesterday!! No Respect!!
As it goes in these things, small and fractured Billy grows up be a hulking man-beast. An 80s style man-beast – not the kind of guy who would go around wearing jeans that come down to just above his penile to show how chiseled he is. We’re talking muscles all over the place. Anyway, he’s sweet and innocent and good with the kids at his job at the toy store until, oh fuck, it’s Christmas and he is given the task pf playing the store Claus this year. That’s not gonna end up good for anyone.
And it sure doesn’t. Before too long he snaps and starts getting his murder on. Strangle. Stab. Hammer to the head. Impale a half naked Linnea Quigley on the stag mounted on the wall. (Jeez remember when she looked like that???) You know – the good stuff. He grumbles the word “NAUGHTY…” and then CHOP!! “Naughty…” AXE!! And soon he’s en route back to the orphanage… to finish things off once and for fucking all. This is a total must for slasher fans – 100%. But whatever you do, don’t do any of the sequels. They all sucked it.