Apparently the first Cold Prey came out in 2006, back when Brian was still a virginal cotillion escort and Tim (The Film Guy) was three, but I remember watching it and – that was way before this site – I remember really liking it. I remember that was when we got our first HD TV and started looking at HD DVDs but I was still RENTING movies from the local Blockbuster on DVD and, even though we had an up-convert DVD machine, it didn’t really work so, I remember thinking that I really liked this but thought it looked like fucking shit stretched out over the big HD resolution TV so I didn’t give it much afterthought. I also remember I used to look at this horror movie site called “upcoming horror movies” – thinking I could do something like that – and kept seeing a sequel for this thing that I liked but didn’t like because of the quality and then it came out in Norway in 2008 but it never came out here, god damn Norwegians.
So, now it’s the end of 2014 and this FINALLY came out here and I finally got to fucking see it and – yep – I loved it. I can’t say that I was sitting around waiting on it for six years but – fuck – it finally came out??? Apparently there’s also a third now… someone get Obama to orchestrate some sort of trading agreements with Norway for fuck’s sake. How much do I know about Norway? The answer to that is: dick. From two movies I know that it seems to look pretty, the girls are comely and that when I type on this laptop the key “M” seems to be in my blind spot because I miss it frequently and have to go respell “ovies” quite a bit.
Anyway – are you one of the two people I know besides me and Vic who have seen the first one?? The first one was really good (but the DVD quality was shit). A group of snowboarding Norwegians go skiing it up in the mountains. One of them gets hurt so they convalesce in an abandoned hotel at the top of the mountains.
There, they get sieged upon by a monster of a man (or monster) (or onster) who picks them off one by one until……. there’s only one survivor and the onster is dead! Dead for all of eternity!! Doomed to burn in the fucking fires of hell forever and ever and ever AMEN!!!!!
As we start up number 2 – and I don’t mean the number 2 you’re taking while you read this on your phone – a hospital is closing down, a cop is looking after an abandoned car and the lone survivor is found wandering the snowy streets of some of the snowy mountains of Norway. She is taken to the closing down hospital where she gives the account of the deaths of all of her friends at the hands of an Abominable Snowman. The Norwegian Cops go check out her story and find the remains of everyone and bring them back to the hospital – including the dead body of the bad guy – and shit gets real.
I really, really liked this and it wasn’t because I had to wait ten years and six million beers for it. I thought it looked GREAT, the acting was FANTASTIC, it was relatively BELIEVABLE, there’s this scene where the cops engage the perp and it was AWESOME, and I thought the big fight at the end was pretty killer. I can’t really compare this to the wicked-ass DEAD SNOW 2 because that was all about fun and being awesome – but this was a Scandanavian sequel that is worth it. You don’t REALLY have to see the first one to look at this since they do a recap – but they’re both pretty good. I would give the sequel a nod because of bigger budget and more daylight sequences. Long term or even medium term Most Beloveds
will might remember that I prefer my shit in the light so I can see what the fuck’s going on. I can’t do everything just by feel, right?
Oh well – if anyone is out there like me and finally wanted to give this a watch – it’s totally worth the money! Do it!