*SPOILERS*
A couple of years ago our old, vanished friend Tyson made a post about this calling it pretty good and rambling on and on about how much he liked it. He said something like “This is really good and gory and I loved it so much that I want to mate with it” and added “I’ve never seen a better film in my entire life and anyone that doesn’t agree with me is an ignorant fuck” and finished with “This is the greatest movie ever made BY FAR and nothing will ever exceed its quality or value”. He then pooped in his pants and threw his own feces at us for doubting him and then he went off and disappeared. So, a couple of weeks ago I had the day off and couldn’t think of anything better to do and I watched this and…. it was all right.
I thought the start of this thing was pretty stupid as we open to a girl in her tee shirt and panties is running screaming through the woods. As it happens to all of us, she steps on a trap and is swung into the air swinging around like a cowboy’s lasso. When she bumps into this particular tree, instead of trying to cling to it and save her life, she carves “EMMA IS ALIVE” into its bark and then we open up the credits.
We cut to gang of banditos, lead by Lee Tergesen (from Oz the TV show). They are robbing a house while the owners are away. The owners show up and one of the robbers blows them away, proving how bad ass and vicious his shit is. Actually, after the credits we MIGHT have cut to a couple of half naked heterosexuals getting ready to do The Sex in a hotel. Either way, those two sequences occur next to each other and the result of these to highly profound pieces of cinema result in a big confrontation between the the couple that made The Sex and these evil bad guys in a restaurant near a hotel.
The tough mother fucker that shot the rich couple does his best Alpha Dog interpretation and hits on this man’s squeeze ↑. Not to be intimidated, Blue Shirt there doesn’t back down but a slight shake of the head from his old lady backs him off. “Let’s go, Cockface” says Tergesen, and the crisis is avoided. Later, at their secluded home in the middle of nowhere, Tergesen tells Cockface that he owes him money because of the robbery he fucked up earlier so Cockface does what all normal people would do, he runs Blue Shirt and Shake Head off of the road, kidnaps them and one of the thugs threatens to kill Shake Head. Oh – you also get to see America Olivo’s tits, if that’s what you’ve been looking for your entire life. God damn she’s a terrible actress.
So, Shake Head commits suicide by pushing her throat down on the guy’s knife which spurs Blue Shirt to escape his handcuffs and murder Knife Guy. Later, Cockface comes back to get Blue Shirt but all he finds is the dead girl his buddy’s dead body. In the big Money Shot for this movie, after they dump his friend’s body in a shed, Blue Shirt CRAWLS OUT of the dead man’s corpse. That’s right. After he killed the guy with the knife, he hid himself INSIDE the man’s body. I have a feeling you’re either going to think that bit is totally stupid and laughable or – well – it’s pretty silly and unbelievable. I did like this girl although her name escapes me.
All in all I thought this was OK – if you can get over the fact that a man hides himself inside a dead body. This really was pretty bloody and the concept about kidnapping a lethal killing machine was new but…. it’s OK I guess…
Sounds all right, will have to watch when I get a chance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s OK – I could easily name 100 worse movies : )
LikeLike
True story. But sometimes you just need a bad movie to watch. lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
YEP!! You’ve got to keep it in perspective, right??
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve got this sitting around at home, kept putting it off, but after your review, I might check it out in early 2015! Happy New Year by the by ;p
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy New Year!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, I loved this one, and thought for sure you’d like it more than that. Yes the acting is terrible but that’s part of its charm.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess I just thought the whole hiding inside the guy was – well – it wasn’t for me : (
LikeLike
That was pretty stupid but it didn’t bother me that much. But then I watched Zombeavers last week so, well, I can be very tolerant of stupid shit in films!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know you do – I like your style!
LikeLike
Right back at ya!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let’s shit on it!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
SPOILERS!!
LikeLike
I put that at the top of the post, mister!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know! Always loved the word ‘spoiler’. Curious I know…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve always loved the word ‘pooter’ – why, I’m not sure….
LikeLike
Dear PSC,
Nice work! Won’t be rushing for this, but good job hahaha!
Love,
IJB
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dearest PJB,
Good call and thank you!! x x x
Love,
ISC
LikeLiked by 1 person
x_x * cough * I just got a Netflix on my own TV set. Is it on Netflix ?
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s where I saw it!
LikeLike
Yes ! !
Oh, Happy New Year ! ! Cheers ! !
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
LikeLike
Ah the ol’ hiding in a dead body trick. Miguel’s been known to do that a time or two…
#ew
LikeLiked by 1 person
I read a report recently that hiding in a dead body is trending in the Midwest. Have you tried it yet, Hooker??
#nasty
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is something that this hooker will never steep to.
#NO
#EW
#NEVER
#NOTHANKS
#UHUH
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hooker: Understood!
But: Keep it as an option if things get dicey out there. Remember, I might be in your area in a few months….
#indianapolisburns
#maybe
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. Let’s not make your trip to Indy “that time we hid in a dead body for shits and giggles.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
LikeLike
Sounds horrible! But that girl has nice boobs so at least you didn’t totally waste your time. haha
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
#Boobs
LikeLike
The only reason for slasher flicks #boobsanysize
LikeLiked by 1 person
#IllTakeEm
#Boobs
LikeLike