The other day I was minding my own business when my Blu-Ray player crapped out on me, so I had to resort to Netflix streaming. Looking at my pitiful options, I almost went in for THE AMITYVILLE ASYLUM but then I thought about it for a minute and almost threw up (thoughts on that movie to come in the future) and I saw this out there. I remember reading a lot of praise for this thing by my bloggas out there but… as I am who I am… a lot of praise usually = shit that might make me want to harm myself, so I never looked at it. Especially since this was from the writer / director of CRAZY HEART. A movie I detest even though I haven’t seen it. I emailed Zoe asking if it was any good and she said “yes it’s one of my favorite films of 2013, you dummy” so I gave it a look and —> it was FUCKING FANTASTIC!!! I loved it from start to finish and I highly recommend it to anyone who is on the fence. It is NOT a pretentious, art house asshole, Christian Bale and Woody Harrelson do some great acting and it just shows again that Casey Affleck is an amazing actor. Forest Whitaker even didn’t do too bad of a job and Sam Shepard had a great supporting role. I loved it. In his most bold – yet award inducing performance to date, Denzel Washington plays an uptight, white Englishman who is there to help those who need it! He’s not afraid to pull out an Uzi, make it with the chicks, or wear a long, red scarf! Praised by critics as “Brazen like a Mo-Fo!” and “Unheard of!!” and “Denzel has really lost his shit!!!” and “Man, he’s got some balls doing this…”, The Equalizer proves he’s got what it takes to anchor a prime time TV detective drama! Good stuff!
And that is your latest from the Half Ass Reviews division of THE IPC.
Want to be a member of the Half Ass Reviews Department of THE IPC??? Let me know in the comments or email me at ei@theipc.me
P.S. Look for a very special CONTEST out here tomorrow or Wednesday morning!
great reviews as always EI!
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Thanks Rob!!
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Dear PSC,
I am so glad to see that you enjoyed Out of the Furnace so much, I thought it was great!
Nice write up on The Equalizer 😛
Love,
JB
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Dear JB,
I did – I totally loved it! Good recommendation!! I also loved The Equalizer : )
Love,
SC
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Kind Chop,
Always my utmost pleasure!
Love,
JB
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Caught Up IJB,
#Stretch was also fantastic!!
I+I
Love,
TSSC
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“‘CRAZY HEART’…a movie I detest even though I haven’t seen it.”
Ha ha!!!!! Love this line.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL
*nods*
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YAAAY!!!
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WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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Edward Woodwoodwoodwoodwoodwood!
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Send me a dinghy!!!!
Burning me won’t bring back your apples!!!
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Agreed! Out of the Furnace is damn good!
Adam.
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AMEN!!!
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I really, really wanted to like Out of the Furnace but it just went nowhere for me. Casey Affleck was great though.
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Welllllllllllll POOP!!
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Denzel is such a talented fellow!
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Who knew?????
#shitfesties
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Dear Ipes, genius idea once again. How do so many good things pour out of such a dour mind? Lol just kidding bro.
Shit. That really sounded mean when I read it back to myself.
For realsies, I’d like to contribute to this. I’m thinking a half-assed review of something ridiculous like ‘Interstellar’ or some shit would be really funny to read. Esp with how up-in-arms everyone seems to have gotten about its’ scientific accuracy and all that. Should I send ya an email? ??
Also, really great to know you latched onto ‘Out of the Furnace.’ I loved that one, so atmospheric and so well-acted.
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YES YES YES YES YES!! Email me when you get a sec!! ei@theipc.me
XOXOXOXOXO
PS. – Out of the Furnace was fucking fantastic!
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Out of the Furnace was pretty good and I like this idea. I see so many movies that I have zero energy to write nicely, properly written reviews, good idea baller!
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Would you like to be part of the staff at THE IPC and write Half Ass Reviews??
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Yes I totally would!
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WOOOOOOOO HOOOOO BABY!!!! I’ll email you!
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Y’know I didn’t really have any interest in Out of the Furnace…But now I must watch!!! Also, your Equalizer review may be my favorite half ass review yet. Who knew Denzel could play this one??? 😉
*catching up probes*
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Both of these movies are really good!
#trollop
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