Isaacs Picture Conclusions

HALF ASS REVIEWS: OUT OF THE FURNACE AND THE EQUALIZER

HAR

OOF1

The other day I was minding my own business when my Blu-Ray player crapped out on me, so I had to resort to Netflix streaming. Looking at my pitiful options, I almost went in for THE AMITYVILLE ASYLUM but then I thought about it for a minute and almost threw up (thoughts on that movie to come in the future) and I saw this out there. I remember reading a lot of praise for this thing by my bloggas out there but… as I am who I am… a lot of praise usually = shit that might make me want to harm myself, so I never looked at it. Especially since this was from the writer / director of CRAZY HEART. A movie I detest even though I haven’t seen it. I emailed Zoe asking if it was any good and she said “yes it’s one of my favorite films of 2013, you dummy” so I gave it a look and —> it was FUCKING FANTASTIC!!! I loved it from start to finish and I highly recommend it to anyone who is on the fence. It is NOT a pretentious, art house asshole, Christian Bale and Woody Harrelson do some great acting and it just shows again that Casey Affleck is an amazing actor. Forest Whitaker even didn’t do too bad of a job and Sam Shepard had a great supporting role. I loved it. equalize1In his most bold – yet award inducing performance to date, Denzel Washington plays an uptight, white Englishman who is there to help those who need it! He’s not afraid to pull out an Uzi, make it with the chicks, or wear a long, red scarf! Praised by critics as “Brazen like a Mo-Fo!” and “Unheard of!!” and “Denzel has really lost his shit!!!” and “Man, he’s got some balls doing this…”, The Equalizer proves he’s got what it takes to anchor a prime time TV detective drama! Good stuff!

And that is your latest from the Half Ass Reviews division of THE IPC.

Want to be a member of the Half Ass Reviews Department of THE IPC??? Let me know in the comments or email me at ei@theipc.me 

P.S. Look for a very special CONTEST out here tomorrow or Wednesday morning!

26 comments

  9. Tom

    Dear Ipes, genius idea once again. How do so many good things pour out of such a dour mind? Lol just kidding bro.

    Shit. That really sounded mean when I read it back to myself.

    For realsies, I’d like to contribute to this. I’m thinking a half-assed review of something ridiculous like ‘Interstellar’ or some shit would be really funny to read. Esp with how up-in-arms everyone seems to have gotten about its’ scientific accuracy and all that. Should I send ya an email? ??

    Also, really great to know you latched onto ‘Out of the Furnace.’ I loved that one, so atmospheric and so well-acted.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. caragale

    Y’know I didn’t really have any interest in Out of the Furnace…But now I must watch!!! Also, your Equalizer review may be my favorite half ass review yet. Who knew Denzel could play this one??? 😉

    *catching up probes*

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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