Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2015: AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION (1982)

cropped-shitfest-trees-white-creepy.jpg

Hello, hello! Yes, it is time. I, Zoë, from The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger, me, myself, and I… we are taking over The IPC today to bitch, I repeat, BITCH, about this sorry slop of a film, Amityville II: The Possession.
amityville 2 the possession poster

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the ever-loving fuck?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?!

metalocalypse eye explosion

I don’t know if I have ever been so aggro watching a movie. There was just so much wrong with this, and I will delve into that shortly.

I could not stand that prick of a father, Anthony Montelli. What a dick, and the worst of it all is that he was that bad a jackass before moving into the house, as evidenced by some freaky conversation where his son basically told us he knows his dad will beat him right to how he wants him. So don’t even put that shit on the house. Not only that, it wasn’t just alluded to. Later I had to watch that cunt whipping off his belt and beating his rugrats up when evidently they were not involved with whatever was going on. I don’t know, something I cannot abide by in life is an abusive person. Even more so when that person is a parent of a child. And how spineless was that dumb bitch mother, Dolores? Between the two of them, they just made my blood boil. Not to mention the indications that dad was forcing mom, too. The abuse did not contribute to the movie, not one iota, hence I have some serious issues with it.

amityville 2 the possession screaming

Alright, then the relationship between brother and sister Sonny and Patricia was just a wee bit too incestuous to be comfortable with. As if I wasn’t already to sick to my stomach, naturally they would actually have to go fuck each other (Because, “Father, I went all the way with… a friend” – yeah right, you fucking hooker). Initially I figured he had forced her, though she willingly enough whipped her rack out in the bedroom. But no, she was not afraid of him, nothing like that. In actual fact, she wanted to bang him again. I mean EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

amityville-2 sick shit

I don’t know what I missed, but in the original Amityville Horror in 1979 and the subsequent 2005 Ryan Reynolds remake, strange stuff was happening but there was no actual possession of people going on? I don’t get it. It seems the rest of the Amityville movies are really pro this whole possession thing, which is whack. Goodness knows we don’t need more of those types of movies, they are a dime a dozen. This movie may have aimed to shock and garner the notoriety that The Exorcist was privy to, but instead it was simply offensive, with no story, no fear, nothing like that to lean on. What a sorry mistake for a movie.

amityville ii crumble

Also, how heavy-handed was Amityvile II: The Possession?! Nothing was left so subtlety, nothing was developed with an atmosphere, everything was so in-your-face and frustrating and eye-roll-worthy. Ugh. From the off there were blood-puking taps, spinning beds, bump in the night, the works. Come off it…

The acting was vile and atrocious and some of the sketchiest I have seen in a really long time. The music was loud, irritating and grating. The pacing is all over the show. The movie blows the possession/murder payload around the halfway point, and then we have to watch this extremely slow, dragging account of how a possessed sister-shagger gets locked up for butchering his family, but the priest wishes to save him and make everything okay and they need to convince the courts he has some satanic being residing in his violated body and blah, blah, blah. Yes, feel my enthusiasm, rolling out of your screen in waves. Feel it.

what is this I don't even

101 comments

  1. LOVE THIS ZOE!!!! Anyone who uses the word ‘cunt’ in their review gets my vote. But even without that, hilarious and it sounds like absolute shit. It sounds kind of horrible actually, the incest, the beating of the children. I’ve seen the original of course (and the Reynolds remake…….wow…..low slung trousers….six pack….chopping wood….(no pun intended)……anyway I digress!)

    Great review!!! Love it 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Damn, I actually like this movie a lot. Some father’s are pricks, for example, here’s one. I didn’t see anything wrong with that, a character you can loathe. At the end he gets shot. Loved your review though, by the time I got to the end I was thinking yeah, this movie sucks, lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    • theipc

      Truth be told – we’re watching these for another franchise run and – despite a miserable lack of continuity from the first one, I didn’t hate this as much as Zoe did. The end was pretty ridiculous though…

      Liked by 2 people

    • I love how everyone takes something else out of a movie hehe! I was so happy when he got popped, and I know that sounds absolutely dreadful. But really. He was NASTY. Hahahaha, at least you got a bit of a giggle out of it I hope?

      Liked by 1 person

      • This and the 1979 one were both loosely based on true stories, the rest were not except for the remake. Defoe said in court that a demon made him kill his family so they built a story around that statement but his prick father was nasty enough to deserve a beating anyhow:)

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Victor De Leon

    Haha! Great job Zoe. Saw this in the theater as a kid and the only thing that prevented me from leaving was because it was pouring out and I didn’t want to get wet walking home. This movie is such utter garbage and a very worthy entry for Shitfest. “Sister Shagger” LOL love that term. If I use it, will I have to pay you royalties?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a million Victor, glad to hear you enjoyed it so much! Gosh, that sucks, that rain forced you to watch something absolutely godawful! :/ Teehee, you are welcome to use that term, I shall discuss arrangements with my lawyer 😉 Until such time, you can do so for free hehehe!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: JB & The Chop Do: Amityville II – The Possession (1982) | The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: