THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE YUMMY:
Abduction (2011)
So, a couple of weeks back, my writing partner, S-Littner and I were ready for a solid night of entertainment, preparing ourselves to start the sexy new season of the anime Highschool DxD. Those familiar with the series probably know exactly what we were anticipating. But those who don’t know anything about the concept and whatnot, these couple of images should give you a vague idea as to what this action-packed show is all about:
Anyway, one thing lead to another and we strangely decided against DxD for the evening — I can’t remember why — but eventually agreed to check out the 2011 flick Abducted, starring Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins, in the hope of seeing some of this goodness:
Bad move. Firstly, no one — and I mean absolutely no one — gets ‘abducted’ in the entire film, whatsoever. Whoever green-lit this fucking title should actually pick up a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word. Srsly!
Secondly, Lily Collins had way too much fucking clothes on, and the entire film was filled with this shit …
… and plenty of this …
Thirdly, instead of attempting to write a detailed analysis of the dreadful motion picture, this gif pretty much sums up my entire traumatic experience:
I did however come to the realisation that even if I had watched Abducted backwards, Taylor Lautner would still look like a llama.
Also, Anna Kendrick is hawt.
By Mr. Movie 🙂
what a shitty review! 🙂
gonna steer clear away from this one. Thanks!
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Good call, Ace! This is either the second or third time this movie has ended up in Shitfest… I think that says something….
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Haha very funny!!!!! Love the ‘mouthy’ gif !!!!!
And no abduction in a movie called Abduction? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Maybe they abducted the script and/or any good ideas and that’s what they meant by the title? Shame they didn’t abduct Lily Collins clothes, that would have cheered you up!
I’m not sure what I think of Taylor Lautner. My eyes say yes, my heart says no….
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No one gets abducted … I’m srsly not joking!
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Catastrophic error no doubt!
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“I’m not sure what I think of Taylor Lautner. My eyes say yes, my heart says no….”
NO CLAM, NO!!!!!!!
#sadpen
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Lol…..come on though !!!!!!
Don’t be sad Pen!!!! My heart knows the truth!!!!!
Love Clam 🙂
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! OK – fair enough!!!
Love Pen
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🙂
Love Clam
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When I saw the title I thought “Oh, I’ve never seen this one.”
Then when I saw Lautner I realized I had. I just can’t remember a single thing about it.
May you be so lucky as to have it scrubbed from your memory soon.
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I certainly hope so … I’m still traumatised by the whole experience!
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Like that time we went out to throw some darts and you ended up with that one wo — sorry!! Memories!!!!
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Well that one would be impossible to forget because the tip of the dart is still embedded in my thigh and it sets off metal detectors every time I go through airport security.
Good times! Good times.
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I’m still surprised you were still able to hit that triple 19…. for the win!
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No one gets abducted … I’m srsly not joking!
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Well done! Won’t be watching this!
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Kidney!!!
Not even for some beefcake???
#pervy
Pappy!
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Pappy!
If the beefcake is very, very good I might take a peek… or two… someday!
Kidney
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Kidney!!
That’s more like it……
#filth
Pappy!!
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Anna Kendrick is hot, but there’s something about her mouth that makes me furrow my brow.
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We can not be friends Brian! lol
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No no, I’m letting you have her, that’s friendship!
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You make a valid point 🙂
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Kendrick can furrow my brow any day….
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I have always had a sort of fascination in wanting to see this film, but four years later and I still have not. Maybe I should just be content in looking at that Anna Kendrick photo above and continue to skip it.
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I think that’s the best decision you’ve made all day….
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It could very well be. Anna Kendrick is one fine lookin’ lady.
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No argument there, amigo!
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Things I learned from this review. Cats doing impressions of Renton sinking into floor from “Trainspotting”, Taylor Lautner is a Llama and Lilly Collins wears way too much clothes. Thanks
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Three wins for The Vern today!
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Glad I could be of assistance 🙂
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Hahahaha. I love this review. Simple, to the point and I had to quickly change tabs, as someone came into the room midway through reading it.
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I forgot to mention that this post is ‘not safe for work,’ soz about that!
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Those anime chicks.. whoa! And yes he does look like a llama that’s a good one!
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I’m clearly missing something sticking to just Studio Ghibli. Nice review – I’ll skip this! 🙂
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Those cartoons????
: )
I mean to go look at those soon when I’m not so busy at work
#cartoons : )
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Lol. ANIME!!!!!!!! Dammit! And they’re AWESOME. 😉 Oh, please read them because hardly anyone did! Lol. #GhibliHaters 😦
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I will – I was going to today but got busy with this shit-ass training… fucking work! Out for supper now –
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Enjoy your supper! 🙂
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PHANTASTIC!!!!!
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Glad you enjoyed your stay 🙂
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Yep… I will just skip this one. Looks really meh!
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Dearest PJB,
Good call!
#lowfives
Love,
IPSC
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Oh god, that cat gif is perfect! Stealing that for future use. Nice one!
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SHITFEST: Educational AND good reference material!
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Taylor Lautner?? never heard of him and never watched Twilight either… Hilarious review, Mr. Movie!
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Based on the clip I’ve seen this looks SHIIIIITTTTTT!!!!
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Don’t do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I’m not sure those Japanese ladies are anatomically correct.
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I think I need to do some more investigating….
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LOL. I cannot stop laughing at the Taylor Lautner mouth gif. Perfection. You know, I distinctly remember hearing about this film and thinking, “Y’know, this would probably be a good Shitfest choice.” So well done, sir. Also, that cat gif is pretty wonderful for all of Shitfest. Spot-on summary of our collective feelings.
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Haha Highschool DXD is a great comedy and porn. Thanks Japan 😀
Abduction looks awful!
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Funny review.
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