Isaacs Picture Conclusions

A SHITFEST 2015 DOUBLE BILL: TROLL 2 (1990) AND MARAUDERS (1986)

cropped-shitfest-trees-white-creepy.jpg

PART ONE OF THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE LOVELY:

BEERLOGO

troll2a

The other night I was minding my own business, drinking beer and I sent out a drunk Tweet to the gang concerning THIS POST. Shortly after that Tim came from out of nowhere and assaulted me, asking me when his post was going up and knocked over my glass of beer. The following is the exchange and what his intentions are for Shitfest 2015:

And – because my OCD probably wouldn’t rest if I only did that small post AND because Tim is Australian – I present:

PART TWO OF THIS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY:

IPCLOGO200

MAR1

Christ this movie was fucking terrible and I couldn’t even find a reasonably sized poster for it. This has to be the worst thing to come out of Australia since Tim went on that cruise last summer. This movie is so fucking stupid I can’t even find words to write about it or pics on the internet.

For real, this is the opening sequence:

KID: HEY!! FUCKING wake up! Mom’s off to the police!
OLDER BROTHER: FUCK YOU! Why’s she off to the police?
KID: FUCK YOU! She’s tired of looking at all of the dead bodies!
OLDER BROTHER: FUCK YOU!! Grab some knives!! We’re going to have to kill her!!

Elsewhere, this guy:

mar2

is interacting with his sister:

SISTER: FUCK YOU!! You’re off to go get drunk and do drugs!! FUCK YOU!! I’m going to tell your three year old daughter how much of a loser you are!!
BIG HAIR: FUCK YOU!! I can do what I want!!! (punches sister in the stomach ten times)

Later:

BIG HAIR: FUCK YOU!! Where are the fucking car keys??
SISTER: FUCK YOU!! I don’t have the fucking car keys!!
BIG HAIR: FUCK YOU!!!! Where are the fucking car keys???
SISTER: FUCK YOU!!!! I don’t have the fucking car keys!!
BIG HAIR: FUCK YOU!!!! (blow’s sister’s brains out all over the wall)
BIG HAIR: FUCK YOU!! Where are the fucking car keys??? (notices car keys in shirt pocket)
BIG HAIR: *shrugs*

Eventually these two dipshits get together and do some gas stealing, some raping, some whiskey stealing and some killing until the entire town comes after them Frankenstein style This movie was absolutely terrible and it could be the worst movie I have ever seen…. Never watch this even if you think “i have to see this because it’s so bad”.  Not only is it miserable and the acting is as piss-poor as it comes, this is from the 80s so it’s filed with worse synthesizer than a Colin Baker Doctor Who episode. God damn this was bad.

Here’s one last slice of dialogue to end this thing. A different couple of people, a boy and a girl, have gone to a cabin in the woods. The setting: The kitchen.

GIRL WITH HUGE TEETH: FUCK YOU!!! I’m not going to kiss you and I’m not going to fuck you!
JACKASS BLOND GUY: FUCK YOU!!! Yes you are now pull down your panties and get on your back!
GIRL WITH HUGE TEETH: NO! FUCK YOU! I’m not going to take off my panties and have sex with you!
JACKASS BLOND GUY (brandishing rifle): FUCK YOU!! Take off your panties right now or I’ll squeeze (the trigger of the rifle)!!!!
GIRL WITH HUGE TEETH:  FUCK YOU!! I’m not taking off my panties and I can’t have sex!!
JACKASS BLOND GUY: FUCK YOU!!! I’ll blow your fucking brains out unless you take off your fucking panties!!!
GIRL WITH HUGE TEETH: FUCK YOU!!! I’m fucking walking home!!
JACKASS BLOND GUY: FUCK YOU!!! If you try to fucking walk home I’ll blow your fucking brains out!!!
GIRL WITH HUGE TEETH:  FUCK YOU!! If you try and blow my fucking brains out then you’ll never get my panties!!!
JACKASS BLOND GUY: FUCK YOU!!! Let me squeeze your fucking titties!!!
GIRL WITH HUGE TEETH:  FUCK YOU!!! If you try and squeeze my fucking titties I’m walking home!!!!
JACKASS BLOND GUY: FUCK YOU!!! If you try to fucking walk home I’ll blow your fucking brains out!!!
GIRL WITH HUGE TEETH: FUCK YOU!!!! if you try and blow my brains out then you’ll never squeeze my titties!!!
JACKASS BLOND GUY: FUCK YOU!!! Now take off your fucking panties!!!

etc. etc. etc. etc.

And, because my OCD also won’t let me get away with not posting some pictures out here, here’s a couple of screen shots I made JUST FOR YOU!!!

FUCK YOU!!! IF I SLIT HER THROAT SHE'LL TAKE OF HER PANTIES!!!

FUCK YOU!!! IF I SLIT HER THROAT SHE’LL TAKE OF HER PANTIES!!!

TITTIES!!!!

TITTIES!!!!

And now, to close out this beautiful post, in the spirit of Shitfest! I present to you a piece I did for the beautiful and lovely Natasha (Kidney) over at Life of this City Girl for her Marvelous Mondays blogathon. It was a miserable piece of shit and you can head on over there VERY easily by clicking this poster (Do it do it!! It’s fun!!):

GHOSTKIDNEY

85 comments

    • theipc

      Clam!!

      Yes! That first quote is actually verbatim and the other sets are as close as I can remember. It was absolutely terrible. Wretched as a stinky beer shit!

      Love Pen

      Liked by 1 person

      • It was the first quote that really made me laugh as well! Lovely exchange between family !

        Stinky beer shit = pong!

        Love Clam 🙂 🙂

        P.S I had to read the whole thing twice before I fully understood it – you may now call me Cleetus from The Simpsons but I does understand it!

        Liked by 1 person

      • theipc

        Clam!!

        HAHAHAHAHA!!!! It was fucking THE WORST!!! Although I actually did do some laughing during the whole panties and titties exchange!

        Love Pen

        Like

  1. Isaacs. This is truly a post of beauty. It’s about time that the people of Australia and Arkansas came together in the spirit of bad movies.

    When we invariably win Shitfest 2015, I don’t have to share my prize with you do I?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This could be the worst movie you’ve ever seen?!?! DAMN SON. I’m never gonna touch it!!! I have a feeling that if YOU hate it that much, it might give me brain cancer…

    #longliveshitfest
    #idontwantbraincancer

    Liked by 1 person

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