The moment you’ve all been waiting for! DUM DUM DUM TA DUM!!! The winner and Grand Champion of the First Annual WHOSE BOOBS contest is none other than Chris / Rincewind of EROTIXX. (Be careful if you click that link, his site is even more NSFW than mine!) That doesn’t come as a huge surprise as he’s been boobing it up longer than I ever put a pair out here. And, not even more surprisingly, he got ALL TEN! I was sure no one would get number 2. What a connoisseur! GOOD SHOW, MAN!
Tomorrow is the Shitfest 2015 Closing Ceremony and then we’ll all vote on our favorite posts. A week later I’ll announce the Big Winner and then I’ll head down into my basement to cast TWO trophies. One for Chris and the other for the amazing winner of Shitfest! Who will it be?? Only YOU can help decide!! GO GO SHITFEST GO!!!
And now for the big reveal(s)!
KATE BECKINSALE
AMY RYAN
KALEY CUOCO (SWEETING)SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
MADGE (MADONNA)
CHARLIZE THERONCHRISTINA HENDRICKS
LAKE BELL
JESSICA BIEL
This was good fun for me! I hope it was for you too! We’ll do this again the next time around! Now – is it hot in this room or is it just me??
I think calling Keira Knightley’s chest area “boobs” is a stretch…
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Sometimes I wonder who the actual female is… Knightley or Andrew Garfield…..
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Daaaaamn somebody get Knightley some ointment for that burn!! 😉
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I genuinely thought Keira Knightly was Marilyn Manson!!! GENUINELY! Back when you first posted this. I may have even written something to that effect in the comments.
I thought he was thrown in as a red herring lol – he is rather androgynous anyway. And look at the gloves, trousers and pale little body! Not a good look Keira….though better than the velvet, floppy hat you wore in Love Actually.
The only two I knew immediately were old Madge with her knockers hanging out and Christina Hendricks.
Sarah Michelle Geller!!!! MINX!
And congratulations of course to Chris. I don’t dare open his site whilst I’m at work!
Commiserations to Justine and Vinnie 🙂
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I should TOTALLY have thrown in Manson as a herring!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Next time we gets some MOOBS for sure!!! What a great idea!!!
Fucking “Madge and her old knockers” HAHAHAHAHAHA You crack me up, Clam!!
Love Pen
#onetitout
#bibs
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She needs to put them away!!!!! We’ve seen them enough bloody times.
Haha thanks Pen 🙂
I still think it is him really!!!!!! Ha ha
Love Clam 🙂
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It might just be, huh???!!??!!!
Love Pen
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Poor Keira! Lol
Love Clam 🙂
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But YAY us, right Clam???
Love Pen
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Keira as Marilyn I could see that, I seriously just LOL.
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Haha!!! Love it!!!!!! 🙂
It makes it all the more ridiculous that I was quite smug in believing I was correct !
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I could see why you thought so, I mean it does look like Marilyn. HAHA!!!
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It does!!!! Thank you Melissa I feel less silly! ha ha ha. It’s still making me laugh though lol
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You two are making me laugh too!
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Yay!!!
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HAHAHA!!! Excellent!!
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Can’t believe you didn’t get Knightly, her mini milkers were in all the brain-dead papers!
You’re a disgrace to your country!
I didn’t get Madonna though and I’ve seen her wabs more than my own feet. They just bore me.
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“wabs” eh…….?
#wabs
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Wabs.
If cosplay girl wants us to look into her eyes then she shouldn’t have a bloody wab window.
#wabs
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Fucking perfect.
#wabwindow
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Got to agree with Emma, genuinely thought it was Marilyn Manson. Even though I like her, I really didn’t think that was her.
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Haha cheers brother!!!!!
I still think it’s him ha ha
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It must be the dark black hair and slender body.
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Definitely 🙂 🙂
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The only one I really guessed correctly was Madonna.
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Snap! And I knew Christina Hendricks. I’d recognise that heaving bosom anywhere 🙂
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Oh yeah, Hendricks, an unmistakable pair.
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You sound wistful Vinnie….even over text lol
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I’ve never been called wistful before, but thanks anyway Emma.
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Well there’s a first for everything 🙂
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You probably won’t think I’m wistful if you read some of my other comments on this page. Quite the opposite in fact.
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Curious! I’m heading over now 🙂
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Hope none of my comments shock you Emma, hehe.
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No not at all! Don’t be silly 🙂 I’m not judgemental and I’m pretty crude anyway ha ha!
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My raunchy and x-rated sometimes knows no bounds I’m afraid.
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That’s okay! It’s easy to get caught up in the moment especially on The IPC haha!
It’s pretty funny reading all the comments anyway, I love it!
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True Emma, glad my comments proved to revealing as well as amusing.
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You aren’t wrong there brother! 🙂
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What can I say? Being revealing is what I do.
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I have an image of a red, velvet dressing gown being opened slightly as you say that. Am I right?
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Haha, something like that with a martini in hand.
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And a huge moustache! Please! Ha ha.
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Not quite a huge mustache, but it’s getting there.
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I knew it!!!! 🙂
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Don’t get too excited, it’s not a porno tache yet.
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Maybe by Shitfest summer?
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I’ll have to see about that, there are other parts of my body that need taking care of in my line of work, hehe.
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Are you actually a porn star?!!!
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No, I don’t have that much luck? The whole raunchy thing started as a joke when I read Zoe’s Magic Mike review. Since then, Eric has given me a stripping moniker, the Satrap of Sin. Funny eh?
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Oh I see!!! Ha ha ha, I love that!
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It definitely is a laugh and I have Zoe, Table 9 Mutant and Eric to thank for christening me as a raunchy Adonis.
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You didn’t genuinely think I was a porn star did you? If so, I admire the compliment, hehe.
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I’ve not seen enough to make an educated guess.
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Haha, too funny Emma.
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You know what I’m saying.
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Yeah, I do. Peace out my blogging sister.
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Amen Brother!
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Sing it sister!
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Anyway, my merchandise is only on display for paying customers, hehe.
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Sorry, I forgot my wallet!!! 🙂
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It’ll cost ya, haha.
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Yes…..interesting! #hotsausage
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I’m sensing some innuendo there Emma.
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HOT SAUSAGE????????
CLAM????
#filth
#perverse
#ineedtoexcusemyself
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I think she’s talking about me there, hehe.
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HMMMMMMMMM
Clam?
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As in………..chorizo!!!!!
Love Clam 🙂
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Mystery solved!!!
#hotlinks
#clams
Love Pen!
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Exactly! Honestly you lot are SO rude!
Love Clam 🙂
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Rude????
CRY CRY CRY
Love Pen!
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But you love us for it really.
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FUCK! I would have NEVER got #2 or #9. I wanted to one-up all the perverted men around the world but I failed. Very sad. Very very sad.
Oh, congrats btw. 😀
😦
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I didn’t think ANYONE would be able to get #2… what a boob stud!
Hey – you always have your placard!!
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Any time I see Amy Ryan in anything now I’m going to feel a shred of resentment.
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I felt the same way about Richard Gere for a long time. I mean HE got to bang Cindy Crawford?? HIM?????
Asshole.
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Some guys have all the luck.
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Fucking Richard Gere!!
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He was one lucky bastard.
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This was so hard, my brother, good friend and I tried to figure these out as a team … All we got was Keira! We sucked
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WHAT WAS HARD????????
: )
Next time!
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That cosplay chick at the top of your post is hawt :p … It was hard, but fun none the less! We must have looked like a bunch of creeps discussing boobs over coffee at a cafe
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I know! I’m totally in love with her and want to display her on every post I ever do. My eyes are up here, my ass!
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I forgot all about this!!
‘Hangs head in shame’ 😦
I never would have got Amy Ryan or the last couple either.
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I didn’t think anyone would…. at least we got a couple of good days out of it : )
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Got a few right, knew Madonna was definitely on here.
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Good old Madge and her boobs….!
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You can always count on Madonna for revealing content.
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And purple nips!
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That to, hey if you got a body you may as well make some money off it, haha.
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You know that’s right!!
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Well, the body is my money maker so I can’t grumble at all.
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Preach!
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I have to work long and hard to keep my body up to a good standard, otherwise there’;s no money rolling in.
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I know that feeling!
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We could make a good double act, don’t you think Eric? haha.
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I’d have to work on my beer gut!!
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They pay good money for double acts, I’m told.
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I’ll need some good money to buy some serious bling!
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Hell yeah, can’t beat the bling.
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You’d need a stage name as well.
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I’ve already got one : ) The Great Montana Jumping Spider : )
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The Satrap of Sin and The Great Montana Jumping Spider, has a ring to it, wouldn’t you say?
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Absolutely!
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And with the Slippery Muckers on board, we could put Magic Mike and his crew of wannabes to shame.
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You fucking got that right!
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I’d have to teach you both a thing or two on the dancing front though.
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Mark’s got all the moves!
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We’ll see about that, I’m the king of the pelvic thrust, haha.
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As well as many other raunchy moves.
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Which I may have to display in the next Shitfest to ensure votes.
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Do what you must!
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Oh believe me I will, got my routines in check and an array of thongs begging to be worn, haha.
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ummmmmmmm GROSS!!
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Only joking thongs aren’t needed in this line of work, at least not for long.
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Banana Hammock
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Huh, I’m not familiar with that term Eric, please enlighten me.
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A hammock for your cocknballs !
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Oh I’m in definite need of one of them, haha.
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Do you know of any places where I could purchase one of these? haha.
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Get a used one off of ebay!
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Haha, would have to be careful, can’t injure my valuables with a used one.
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But it would be properly stretched out, no?
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Don’t think so, plus it would need to be a good size, hehe.
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: ) : )
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Have I made you speechless Eric? Apologies for any shock.
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LOL – nope – that would be hard to do – multi tasking here – trying to get a post written before lunch : )
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Ok, I must leave now. I’ve got a long and hard night ahead of me.
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Good luck! Wear your rubbers!
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Thanks for the advise Eric, got them stashed in my leather thong, hehe. Adios
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Adios amigo –
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Hopefully I’ll have a raunchy tale or tow to tell tomorrow.
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Rock on!
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If all else fails, at least I’ll have my bed and movies of an adult nature to keep me entertained.
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Slight change of schedule, will be going out within the next hour or so. Which gives me more time to spend on the blogosphere.
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I’m getting ready to eat a Hot Link and watch The Mist
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What’s a hot link, Eric?
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It’s basically a very spicy hot dog!
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Is that some sort of innuendo there Eric? haha.
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Not this time….
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Message received Eric, no innuendo.
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Sadly I must leave now, let the long hard night commence. Adios mi amigo.
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Ta Ta!
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Will be back tomorrow, hopefully with a tale to tell.hehe
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sweet!
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This is the Satrap of Sin signing off to complete his duty.
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At ease, soldier.
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Satrap of Sin reporting for duty again, haha.
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Plus, I need it to fit with my routine.
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I was going to send in my answers, but every time I clicked on the page, my hands suddenly became too busy to type.
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FILTHY BOY!!! Act like you’ve been to town before!!!
#beatyourmeat
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I gotta agree with Luke there, I had a few guesses but my hands where elsewhere.
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Hairy palms!
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You know it.
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LUKE!!!!!!!! That was the crudest comment so far lol
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What? I could be doing anything in this hypothetical scenario…
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Like what? Unpeeling a banana???
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Juggling. I always juggle when reading your articles.
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You juggle? Juggle your balls??
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I don’t even want to know what you’ve been juggling Luke, dirty rascal, hehe.
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Filth!
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Absolute filth I say.
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You guys have a poor judge of character. I juggle the life of a hardened blogger, wading through the filth of bad movies and with the other hand, I am mastur…mastering my techniques as a script-writer.
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I completely understand Luke, you’re a hard working guy who deserves credit for his dedication to the blogosphere.
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and dedication to mastur – mastering your script.
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Eric, we all know that Luke is a talented guy when it comes to his craft.
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and by “his craft” you mean “shaking his dong all over his village”.
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No his writing of course.
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Oh! yeah. right.
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Anyway, the dong shaking is more in my job capacity.
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And plus I’ve probably got the better moves, hehe.
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Moves like Jagger?
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You could say that, hehe.
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You got to be a good mover and shaker in this game.
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Butt cheek implants?
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Never, my ass is naturally sculpted like a Greek God. No surgery to maximize anything my friend.
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Excellent!
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Which part, my ass or the lack of surgery? haha.
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BOTH!!
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Thanks, Satrap approves.
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EXCELSIOR!
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Huh, please enlighten me on that one Eric.
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LOL – It’s something Stan Lee used to put in his editorials in his comics back in the day : )
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Thanks for that Eric.
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: )
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I take that excelsior means something good right?
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Yep! like Cheers or Here’s Mud in Your Eye!
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Oh Great, Satrap is definitely nodding his head in approval.
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On another note, I’m starting to write my entry for Shitfest Summer very soon, ain’t no rest for the wicked.
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Sounds pretty fucking excellent to me!
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I’m getting some good stills from the film to ensure the votes of the lovely ladies out there.
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HAHAHA!!! Excellent!!
#dongs
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Don’t you like Matthew McConaughey Eric? I could slip a photo of him in it.
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I do! True Detective rules!
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A photo of him will be in the post just for you Eric.
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Sweet!
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I aim to please.
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You certainly are a hardened blogger and an excellent Seaman.
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Now that sound extremely suggestive.
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Hmmmmmm! Now I wonder if that’s strictly true ha ha.
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Now Chris is a true boob connoisseur. Wow!! I couldn’t guess a single one.
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He’s the man with the plan! and the boobs!
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Oh he IS!
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Major respect. I don’t even know who some of those boob owners are to be honest.
I’m fully researching Christina Hendricks right now.
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You NEED to get your doctorate in that one! And by “doctorate” I mean penis.
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Immense milkers!
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#milkers
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I bet you got some titillating results Damian.
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Major wabs!
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Naughty boy
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Wow, I suck. The only one I knew was Christina Hendricks, and that’s just because she’s got the biggest real knockers I’ve ever seen besides Dolly Parton!
That picture of Sarah Michelle is giving me little tingles in all the right places. I’ve never seen her boobs before, and they’re just as lovely as the rest of her.
Too bad the same can’t be said for poor Keira…
Those straps around Madonna’s boobs aren’t there to show her kinky side, btw. She needs them otherwise those old lady tits would fall on the floor. You’re almost 60, woman, put those away!
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I could research Hendricks for days…..
WOO HOO on Gellar!!!! #winning
HAHAHAHAA – Poor old Madge…..
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GREAT comment! Hilarious what you said about Madonna (I thought the same thing about those straps!!!) and I loved the pic of Sarah Michelle Gellar too 🙂
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PERVS!
Good god – I don’t think Keira Knightley counts. She just has nipples.
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I can post smut, just like Zoe did on Monday!!!
I figured that would throw people off since she has #noboobs which is weird because she seemed to have #someboobs in The Jacket….
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Ohhhhhhh yaaaahhh who’s the BOOB master, I am… *doing a happy dance* but hell Amy was a toughie and almost cracked me so am damn lucky on getting that one, now to go back to my usual site to practice for next round 🙂
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The BOOB master?? YOU ARE!!!
Congrats!!
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Can I hear a hallelujah 🙂 wonder if my girl will be as proud of me as well, chances are very slim but will get a poster laminated and put on the wall with the proclamation of boob master. Oh how proud my parents will be 🙂
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But wait! You also win a mighty trophy that I have yet to smelt!
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Lol. Oh that would be something, would show it off to everyone. Yeah my first trophy if u don’t consider the ones in school where everyone got one, we are all winners. Yeah right my ass… 🙂
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After next Friday I’ll go start working on the trophies and get with you on email : )
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Reblogged this on Erotixx and commented:
Who’s the boob master, oh hell yeah that’s thy main man. Am proud of my boob recognition skills.
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FUCK YEAH BABY!!!!
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Round of applause!
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Butt slaps!!!
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Eric you dirty rascal, the slapping of butts proves very lucrative in my line of work.
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Just: #nogoose
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Huh, what do you mean?
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Is the term “Goose” not familiar over there?
It’s when you sneak up on some unsuspecting person a stick your thumb in their butt….
#goosing
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Oh know I get you mean, I have heard the expression before. Sometimes Brirish slang is very different from American.
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Very good! I’m out Mr. Satrap – bar trivia is calling my name! I hope you have a great weekend!
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Enjoy yourself and stay safe my blogging brother.
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Coming soon to Shitfest 2015: Summer–Whose Dong??? Pending title: Battle of the Bulge. 😉
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Welllllllllllll……. someone DOES have author rights out here……
#dongs
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HELL YEAH!!!!!
#dingdong
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#dongs
#dings
#dingdongs
#bulges
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LOLOLOLOL. The tags will be glorious.
#sausages
#hotdogs
#schlongs
#superpervy
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LOL I’ll tag the fuck out it!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
#dicks
#hotlinks
#weenus
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BEAUTIFUL. Like, I know you think very highly of boobs and all, but you haves to admit that the various names for dongs are extremely entertaining…
On a related note, now I’m hungry. Not for dongs though.
#sausages
#hotdogs
#hotlinks
#cookoutfood
#yum
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We’ll rock the fuck out of this!!!
#fuck
#sex
#hooker
LOL
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FUCK YEAH WE WILL!!!!!
#winning
#stumpet
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#donkeys
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That’s gonna be one revealing post to say the least, hehe.
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It will be a thing of beauty. Erm–THINGS of beauty, I guess?
#bulge
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#dongs
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I’m afraid my dong guessing skills aren’t up to scratch, hehe.
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Only way to find out is to play! Mwahahahaha.
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Why Cara you saucy devil.
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#saucyhookers
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Who me or Cara?
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Cara is a hooker, I’m thinking you’re a British Slut like Damien….
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Ha! Damian and I can both be sluts as well as blogging brothers.
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Sadly I must depart now, a bachelorette party is begging for my rock hard abs and shapely ass.
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😉
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#doingit
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Also, Eric, the fact that you tagged the person’s name, the person’s name plus the word “boobs,” AND the person’s name plus the word “tits” is cracking me up. You are nothing if not thorough. Hahahahaha.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m finally online! This comment is cracking me up!!
We are all very thorough at Shitfest!
#boobs
#tits
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#thoroughprobies
#veryimportant
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#verymeticulousprobies
#wedogoodwork
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Dear PSC,
LOL! So many boob people reading your blog.
Love,
JB
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Dearest SJB,
If you show them, they will come.
#noinnuendo
Love,
TGMJS
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