I’ve been sitting on this post for a long time because 1) I normally talk about horror movies and B) I like to try and have fun with posts and tickle you both figuratively and literally (Here comes Mr. Tickle!!!!) (WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????) (Don’t be a perv!) and there’s nothing really FUN about this movie unless *SPOILER* you’re looking to see Shia LePoof get killed or *SPOILER* Brad Pitt take a huge shit in front of his Commanding Officer and then wipe his ass with a map of Germany. “Here’s what I think of THOSE fucking orders, Sarge.” He sez. One of those spoilers may or may not happen but, whatever the case, this is a really good fucking movie and I totally loved it. If you haven’t seen it and have a hankering for a good war movie this thing can be really brutal in parts, so be careful. I don’t really watch a lot of war movies so, my experience is slim, but this is definitely one of my favorites.
Pitt, sporting an incredibly cool haircut that I can’t pull off because my hair is too stringy, stars as Lieutenant Aldo Raine, a U.S. soldier from The Smoky Mountains, deployed to Germany to put together a special team of Nazi scalping Jews. And he wants his scalps!! Together they tear through Germany like Sherman through Atlanta, dismembering, disemboweling and disfiguring the Nazi, ultimately murdering Adolf Hitler in a packed movie theater, eliminating the Nazi threat and bringing an end to WW2.
For real, I totally loved this movie although I could pic some nits. NOTE: I wouldn’t want to pic your nits unless you asked me too. I have large hands with large fingers that I keep trimmed so I’m not really able to pick up things like dimes or stamps off of a level counter so, I might have to lick my lips and I would hate to get your skin all greasy with my saliva but, I would if you wanted to. ANYWAY! I loved all of this, I loved the action, the warfare, the brotherhood, the blood n’ guts, all of it, but…. I thought it was not real that, after they sacked that town – when they are up enjoying some peace and a meal, that the other guys just immediately found them and made dicks of themselves… or the second to last scene where – spoilers rescinded – that didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I did discuss this with me bestest friend JB, who I think loved this more than I did – and she didn’t find any faults in the Thing Under The Tank, but – oh well…. who cares. This movie was bad ass and I loved it.
I don’t know what it is about me but I always seem to find just one little piece of a movie that is so insignificant that I just love. Just thinking of a handful of recent things I’ve loved; like that part in COHERENCE when the guy says “The Stapler!” or that line in DEAD SNOW 2 “Some guy took my jacket… : ( ” or even this shit movie that I liked called CAMP MASSACRE where this girl, whose clothes continue to disappear responds to “I thought you were dead!!” with “Never count a nurse for dead when she’s got her NURSE’S BOOK!!” STAB!! I don’t know – these are the types of things I notice and what got me in this was – at some point towards the end, they’ve run out of tank artillery and the men are moaning about how they’re fucked. “It’s not over!!!” Pitt commands. “We’ve still got our hand weapons! We’ve got our .50 CAL!” I know I’m weird and slightly off – I mean – I’ll probably never see NIGHTCRAWLER because of Jake Gyllenhaal’s hairdo – but the use of the word ‘weapons’ in that scene really stuck with me. I know – I’m strange.
So – there it is – a long account of Fury that I totally loved. The tracers thing didn’t bother me for a second and Brad Pitt never took an onscreen shit so – winning all around! LePoof didn’t actually bother me and it had Hoyt from back when True Blood was good in it. This was a solid movie that I had to buy to watch and I totally loved it. Minus – The Scene Under The Tank. Good stuff, good stuff, loved it, loved it. FIVE Brad Pitt cool hairdos out of five!