A couple of weeks ago I watched a movie called CAMP MASSACRE that I still haven’t written about and tweeted to a handful of people that might like it, including my good friend Laura over at Film Nerd. A few days later she replied back and asked me if I was talking about the movie I’m writing about today and I was all “no it’s this movie” and she was all “OH OK!” and she started watching CAMP and wasn’t liking so I felt really bad. I had never heard of this particular movie she mentioned but the poster looked shit so, since I felt bad, I told her I’d do my penance and watch this damned thing to pay for my crimes and found it on youtube and gave it a look. More to come on this but I wanted to point out that if anyone ever cared about what I intend to write about, I put a little thing at the bottom left (on a PC) of my site called “SHIT I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT”. That’s mainly a note to myself so I don’t forget about what I’ve seen and am so slow to get to.
This movie starts off pretty shit with Joey Pants (Joe Pantalonio) making a bunch of noise with a baseball bat on some steel cots, screaming and making a big fuss. Those of you who know me know I don’t care for a bunch of commotion, so I was really put out and dreading my decision here. Then I noticed the guy from those old Twisted Sister music videos and a couple of meatheads from some old 80s movies and I was getting a little interested. These guys are forest rangers and they plan to go clear out a river and then float down it like studs – but not before picking up some chicks for a little weed smokin’ and ballin’.
When we meet the chicks I notice a young and still hot Daryl Hannah and – WOAH – there’s super smokin’ Rachel Ward and soon they’re working in the river and then it’s night and scary campfire stories and this was actually getting pretty interesting. Soon, people are Doing It and someone gets killed and the bus won’t start and this was getting kind of fun. There’s an interesting take on a cabin in the hills and these people don’t just sit there waiting to get killed and I had a good time with this. I don’t think this will be anyone’s favorite movie ever but I liked it for the most part. The last few minutes (maybe the last ten or so) are really kind of fun and relatively creative for 1983 and I was left feeling good about this.
Has anyone else seen this thing?? Did you see it when you were a kid? It’s not uncommon for me to have not heard of anything but this was a good surprise. Maybe not quite as good as THE BURNING which I had also never heard of, but fun nonetheless. I think you probably already know if you’ll like this or not based on the premise and the time period (80s slashers) but I would watch it again. It’s on youtube for free so there’s another bonus. I’ve definitely seen a LOT worse than this – I’m looking at you, SLAUGHTER DAUGHTER and you MAD COWGIRL.
When I tweeted Laura that I was excited Rachel Ward was in this and she was young and sexy she was all “Um, yeah. Never heard of her…” so – here’s a refresher to all of you youths!!!
Hey this reminded me: when’s the next Shitfest social? Or have you all been doing them without me? Wankers
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I haven’t put out anything for one in a while. It’s so hard finding a time everyone can get together…. I would love to do one though….
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I really enjoyed the last couple. Especially the one that you weren’t involved in.
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No Irish.
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Actually my reply sounded mean, i meant that Alone in the Dark was a lot more hilariously bad than the other one you watched with us.
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Oh. OK. That makes me feel warmer inside.
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But it was also nice not having you there.
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You fucking Irish bastard!
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lol! I loved how Mike was talking to himself on my blog for half of Alone in the Dark… 😉
Nice review, dude! I’m glad you’re a big fan of The Thorn Birds, too! 😉
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Lol I remember that!
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You Irish bastard.
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Excellent post Eric, you just can’t beat your reviews.
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THANKS Vinnie!!! Happy Thursday!!!
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Happy to be helpful Eric, was that another innuendo of yours? I need to study innuendo some more to keep up with you.
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Not this one!
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You’re the innuendo king man, any new slang terms you want to enlighten me on?
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HA!!! Not today! (not yet)
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Let me know when you’ve thought of some, hehe.
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I sure will – –
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I’ll be waiting for more x-rated slang, hehe.
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I’ll see what I can scare up –
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It will be good to expand my vocabulary.
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Great post Pen! Sounds like it’s worth a watch, I have never seen this 🙂
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It certainly looks like something I’d watch, can’t beat a good slasher.
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Agreed! I’ll always give stuff like this a whirl 🙂
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Let me know what you think, boss!
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Definitely will Eric.
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Sweet!
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As sweet as a dance from the Satrap of Sin, haha.
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HAHAHAHA!!!! #sexy
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Yeah that’s me, one sexy bastard, haha.
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LOL!
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Not that I’m showing off or anything.
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The ladies are gonna love it!
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I hope so, after all I aim to please.
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Clam!!!
I liked it! It’s very 80s quaint!
Love Pen
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And that is always pretty darn good 🙂
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You know it, Clam!!
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Looks like a good film despite the poster. Also, never heard of Mad Cowgirl – sounds terrible. lol
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It’s so funny that that poster has NOTHING to do with anything involved in this movie….
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Dearest PSC,
Sounds like you enjoyed this just fine eventually hahaha.
Love,
JJB
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Warmest IJB,
I sure did – it was good, clean fun!
Love,
SSC
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Kind Chop,
YAY! It’s always nice when you go in expecting something to be mediocre or really crap and it turns out to be pretty good.
#Dread
Love,
PJB
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Dearest IJB,
Coincidentally, my goal is to do my write-up of Dread today : )
Love,
ISC
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Dear Chop,
Imagine that! Looking forward to it 😀
Love,
JB
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Dearest PJB,
WHOOP!!!!
Love,
PSC
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Pappy
Sounds like your thang!
Kidney
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Sweet Kidney,
This sho was my thang! I liked it!! Get all moved in??
Pappy
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Kindest Pappy
Nearly there… just those last pesky things that won’t find a proper place!
Kidney
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Sweet Kidney!
I know the feeling…….
Pappy
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Very juicy review. I read it because it said to do so in the title.
A film just popped into my head when you asked if anyone had see this in paragraph 4, line 1, words 1 to 15. I tried to think if I had, but got distracted by another 80s slasher I’d seen. I can’t remember what it was called or anything, I just remember it was set near a lake and at the end it turned out the whole thing was a big hoax and all the victims came back laughing and stuff. Have you or anyone else seen this or did I just dream it?
You slag.
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Thanks, Scoot!
I believe the film you are having nocturnal emissions about is called April Fool’s Day from back in the 80s. It can used as reference materials for your thesis on this site, by checking – for free mind you – my movie index.
Thank you for your time.
You slut.
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Thanks for your quick and informative reply.
Is it really? See, I knew I’d seen April Fools Day, I just couldn’t remember much about it, but I’d never connected that ending with that film. I’m such a shovel!
Wait, your site’s free? What have I been paying you for then?
You filthy whore.
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I thought we agreed not to talk about the exchange of monies between us……
#moonlightcanoeing
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Right. Yep. Sorry. (the latest cheque’s in the post)
#moonlightcanoeing
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Good!! I’m clean out of rubbers!
#rubbers
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Been busy in the bedroom have we Eric?
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…………………….. maybe!
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Oh I forget, a gentleman never tells.
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That’s right!!
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I say old chap, that’s a great point.
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#prude
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I am no prude Eric, I’m as raunchy as they come.
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I was talking about myself : )
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Oh I understand what you mean Eric. I wouldn’t say you’re a prude though, sex and boobs are a common feature on your site.
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I’m anything but!
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Hehe, I can definitely see that. At the rate my site is going, it’s gonna become an x-rated blog.
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SWEET ASS SWEET!!!
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I knew you’d approve, any ideas for something raunchy I could do on my blog to spice it up a little?
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Full on nudity is always a hit but you need to do the NSFW thing…
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Will keep that in mind Eric, who knows more nudity could follow on my blog. Even though you said it was a little excessive in some of my posts, haha.
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You know I was referencing the male nudity : )
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Hey that male nudity was classy, there was no full frontal was there? At least I don’t remember there being.
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I don’t think so – I think it was mostly ass : )
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It went down well with the female followers, Eric.
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Then = perfect!
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So you won’t object to any more male nudity on my site then Eric?
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LOL – it’s your site, my brother!
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Thanks, I always value your opinion though.
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WHOOP!
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Just wanted to tell you, the post I did for the ladies you love has been very well received. Thanks for letting me do that post.
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Excellent!!!!
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It seems your taste in women, and also man crushes, proved very popular with other bloggers.
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Wonderful!
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You’re a valuable member of the blogging community man and I always enjoy reading your thoughts on things.
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Thank you, sir! Right back atcha!
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Thanks Eric, I’ve always got your back brother.
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You have interesting dreams Damian, haha. Who is a slag?
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You could make a franchise out of my 80s slasher dreams. Eric is a massive slag and he loves it.
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Really, you could say I could qualify as something of a slag, hehe.
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Honestly, Vinnie? I must say I’d never noticed!
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Haha, you know me too well Damian.
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I think you’re both hookers in real life.
#hookers
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Me a hooker, whatever would make you say that Eric? Haha.
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It’s just a feeling I have….
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I wouldn’t say a hooker, but remember Eric, Damian and I are slut brothers, hehe.
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You got that right!
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Us slut brothers stick together.
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It should be no other way….
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Exactly, Damian and I have to keep the British end up in some way.
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Ah… back in the good old days when you could have big natural tits and get away without wearing a bra!
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Oh how I miss those days………
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Now people only have those porn boobs that don’t move.
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I know….
#notasmuchfun
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Her chest is totally disproportionate to the rest of her body.
Just how I like ’em.
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Yes. Yes. Yes.
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I’ve never seen this but now I really want to! And that poster is priceless 🙂
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You totally should! It’s fun!
That poster is so funny because it has NOTHING to do with the movie…. but, I guess that was the 80s : )
Thank you so much for coming by here, Kim!!!!
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I’m going to try to hunt it down. Some of the 80s posters are the best in terms of camp! Who cares if they have nothing to do with the movie they’re supposed to be advertising 🙂
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LOVE IT!!!!
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Great call Kim!!! 🙂 🙂
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Thanks Ems!
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To the woman in the red vest top – put a bra on love!
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Clam!!
#no
Love Pen!!
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Oh come on!!!!
🙂
Love Clam
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WHAT????
: )
#pens
Love Pen!
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Lol 🙂
Love Clam

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#novests
Love Pen!!
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Hmmmm!
Love Clam 🙂
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HMMMM HMMMMMMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Love Pen!!
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Eric! You’re such a good sport for watching this, especially after I gave up half way through Camp… I tried this one too but only got a few minutes in and I was kind of confused – why was a bunch of kids out in the woods with some rough looking lumber-jack types?
I keep meaning to get back on here and start writing some shit up but I just can’t seem to get motivated. I’m keen to do something on Coherence though, since it was so good and everyone should see it. #everyone
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It’s OK – I actually started liking this one so it was no big deal! They were river rangers or something like that and they went upstream with some broads to clear the river, smoke weed and make funny business and then raft down it. : )
I wish I could help you! I LOOOOOOOOOOVE your posts!
And yes – EVERYONE should see it!
#everyone
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OK. I’m going to do it!
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WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
#whoooooooooooooooooooo
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I did it. I just published one I forgot I wrote a few weeks ago. Writing another now. Hoping I’ve got my mojo back.
#mojo
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I’m on it as soon as I get home! #onit
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All I see is Dead Snow 2 as the most recent? : (
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Have I been away so long I’ve forgotten what I’m doing?!
How about now? #goingsenile
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Let’s go look : )
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There it is!
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Yay!
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WHOOO!
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Any movie involving camp is good. I just looked up Rachel Ward, ok yes she was hot there. I know you like that red tank!
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You know it!!!!
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