NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007)
In NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN a man with a woman’s hairdo (or a very ugly woman {it’s hard to tell}) chases a guy around Mexico and South Texas trying to get back a suitcase filled with white tube socks. The tube socks were stolen from a Mexican dude dying out in the hot prairie heat and goddamn it do those Mexicans want them back. Tube socks are very good for people wearing cowboy boots and, due to the U.S. / Mexico Cotton Embargo of 1971, the fabric is not allowed across borders in either direction. A lot of politicians here in The States have been debating about this for 40 years – calling it “Illegal Immigration” when, really, that’s not it. They just want some fucking comfortable socks to wear under their boots so they can work here and do the jobs no one else wants to.
On a side note, last year we got a new “facilities lady” that cleans the place up at work. She’s Hispanic and I’ve never really had to tangle with her but the other day she got on the elevator with me and I noticed she barely comes up to my rib cage. Then she bent over to tie her shoe and her boob flopped out of her shirt. I didn’t really know what to do so I panicked and called 911. By the time the cops got there, I was already securely resting (and hiding) in my office and she was back to wiping down the glass doors in the atrium. Weird day!!
ZODIAC (2007)
A wimpy cartoonist, an alcoholic reporter and a cop who likes to wear bow ties investigate the mystery surrounding the closet doorknobs of THE IPC’s master bathroom. Who made them? How much did they cost?? Is there something behind them aside from the Zodiac symbols???? Why didn’t the lazy mother fucker who painted the stain do a good job??? Why is the painter me?????
David Fincher directs this thing and never really answers any questions, leaving the movie open ended for the viewer to make their own opinions. Was it the bald guy from The Drew Carey Show? Was it the suspicious movie organist?? Were there two of them in cahoots? Was it Kim???? Was it Film Nerd???? Was it Vinnie???????? Was it Vampire Placebo???? We’ll never know because, according to the text cards at the end of it, Fincher died of a heart attack and took the secrets to his grave. FUCK!
And that is your latest from the Half Ass Reviews division of THE IPC.
Want to be a member of the Half Ass Reviews Department of THE IPC??? Let me know in the comments or email me at ei@theipc.me
Great post Eric, appreciate the link to my blog. I’m really interested in who committed the crime now, who could it be?
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No problem at all!
I think we have a confession in the comments here…………
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Yeah, it’s confessions corner, hehe.
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Ha ha!
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*sneaks around in a catwoman-esque body suit* Sshhhhhh… *cough cough* Oh god, I can’t breathe… Someone help me outta this thing…
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Back in the leather are we? haha.
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Catwoman wore vinyl, dear, and she wore it very, very well. I won’t even pretend to look half as good. I can try,though :-p
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I’m sure you look just as good.
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Oh, aren’t you a doll! Well, maybe 8 or 9 years ago.. hehehe :-p
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I’ve never been called Doll before, but I’ll take it.
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You lucky devil!!
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What can I say Eric, I have a way with words.
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I bet you can pull it off!
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I’ve actually been looking for a (good) replica for years now, and it’s nearly impossible to find! I’m about to go ravage Michelle’s wardrobe! And while I’m there…. 😉
The closest I came was my Underworld costume I put together for Halloween one year. My corset shirt and my then-boyfriend’s leather pants (told you I like the girly boys :-p ), and knee high fuck-me boots. Unfortunately, no pics were taken (this was before everyone had them on their phones, hehe).
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Well – please keep me posted!! : )
Oh – and anything you can scare up will work!
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I imagine I’ll find one when I’ve gained too much weight to wear it, and my tits have fallen to my belly button…
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LOL – isn’t that always the way it goes???
(I’ll still check it out)
: ))))))
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Hehehe 😀
Well ForeverFriend and DollFace, I gotta book. No literally, I’m gonna lay in bed and listen to my new audiobook. I’ll check back in laters! 🙂
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Talk to you later FF!!!!!!!
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: ))))))))))))))))))))))))
#pics !!!
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Ha! Unfortunately, the closest I came was pvc corsets and skirts, but there’s a pic of that up in my About Me page :-p
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I’ve seen it!!
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hahahahaha oh god man this is up the with 27slashb for the funniest shit I have ever read online
“the U.S. / Mexico Cotton Embargo of 1971” bahahahahaha
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the great thing is its one of my favourite movies. Yet this is just hysterical bahaha :D:D
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HAHAHAHAH!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You know that blog man?? Fuck that guy is funny, he actually worked with my dad briefly, he is from my city. He got a book deal his blog was so fucking hysterical man, lucky dude!
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What’s that, again?
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27slashb. Its this dude who kinda emails people into submission, its rather funny. Apprently some of his stuff went so viral it featured on the Letterman show!
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I’ll have to check it out!
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durh I’m a dipshit its 27bslash6. Google the site and his home page is titled Go Away hahaha
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HAHA!!! I’ll check it out soon!
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I have this slight suspicion that you’ll laugh your arse off reading it 😉
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I think I’ll go check it out right now : )
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Hope you like it as much as I have over the years
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May have to check out that website Jordan, sounds good.
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Dude it is hysterical. Good enough that I bought the dudes book…….. so much funny stuff that isn’t on the site. EVERYONE READING THIS, 27bslash6 now fuckers!!!! And laugh your arse off!!
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I read a couple of post and they were pretty fucking funny!
I bookmarked it so I can check it out when I poop next : )
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HAHA! Glad you enjoyed it mate, I thought it’d be up your alley
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It really is – I look forward to checking it more – while I poop!
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Thanks for the recommendation dude.
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No worries! happy to promote someone from Adelaide 😀 (though he now lives in the US). The funny thin is, he doesn’t start any email correspondence. People email him. And they end up telling him DON’T EMAIL ME AGAIN hahaha to which he will reply “OK” muahaha he is an evil bastard.
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Sounds like quite a guy, then again this site is just as eventful and probably much more x-rated.
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hahaha I’m with you there. Yeah this guy is quite the character – he tried to pay a chripractor bill with a drawing of a spider he did in paint. It went viral. This was years ago…. he never paid the bill hahaha
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You should check out more of the comments on this site, certainly some raunchy topics have been discussed.
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Yeah I’ll have to! I only came across this site not long ago, just as the shitfest ended.
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Most of the raunchy content is provided by blogging brother Eric, me and fellow blogging brother Damian. I believe earlier today sexual fantasies where on the agenda.
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hahaha if you want sexual fantasies – watch the aussie comedy The Little Death from last year! That is EXACTLY what its about and its fucking hysterical!!
http://wp.me/p4P9IW-5n
Even the poster makes me laugh 😀
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Will check the link out soon.
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If you like the sounds of it i HIGHLY recommend the DVD, or streaming I guess is what people do nowadays. We only JUST got Netflix literally weeks ago so streaming is kinda new to us down here
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You’re from Adelaide?? I meet some people from there last summer when I was in Mexico!
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Hey cool! Yeah born and raised here… we call it a country town that happens to be a capital city hahaha, our population is barely a million! But its a really chilled city I love it here, it’d take a LOT for me to move away
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Cool deal! They were really cool too! Guy’s name was Nigel – know him? : )
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Hehe nah, funny tho I do actually have a mate who is over working in Mexico I think. He got some awesome deal, lucky bastard
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LOL!
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What’s life like in Adelaide? sounds really nice.
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Chilled. Very chilled, perhaps too much so at times, can get boring. The beach is always great tho.
Funny thing is, the state Adelaide is in, South Australia, has the highest murder rate per head in Australia.
You know the movie Snowtown? Based on real events that happened only a few hours away from here.
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Gosh I didn’t know that dude, I seem to learn something new every time I interact on blogs.
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Hehe I know what you mean! I just started blogging last year and have learned some really cool stuff from a lot of different places. I love the ‘blogosphere’ community, its great. So many wicked cool people
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The community is great and amazing to converse with. One more question, why’ll we are on the subject of Australia and the ribald nature of this site, I have to ask, what are Aussie girls like?
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The ones that aren’t princesses are really fucking chilled and laid back. And hot. Summer is especially great down here hehe, gotta love those beaches. If only I weren’t such a pasty cunt…
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Oh I’m sure you’re a big hit with the ladies. If not, there’s always porn to fall back on.
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Haha I most certainly am not a hit. Pasty and socially awkward don’t go well together! But hey, its always nice to go down to the beach for a perve
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The older I get the more socially (personally not bloggery) awkward I become… as in – I hate going where there are a lot of people….and by a lot I mean = more than me and my wife….
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yeah, I have always had social problems, but that is due to the epilepsy. I kinda have had to watch other people to learn how to socialise…. if that makes sense. Heh, a wife… Somehow I just don’t think I can see myself with a wife!! Though if your crazy arse got married why can’t I? You bastard you!
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15 years together! She totally saved my fucking life!
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wow congrats man!! 🙂
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Yep!!!!!
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Have more confidence in yourself mate.
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Too true mate, unfortunately easier said that done. But eh, I deal 😀 We were indeed talking about Aussie girls. Summer ia good for me cos I can go to the beach with my dog and have birds ooing and ahh-ing at him. Pity I broke my fucking foot at the start of summer then!
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So you use your dog as the pulling magnet for the ladies? I like it. Care to teach me any dirty Aussie slang?
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hahaha I don’t know what is and isn’t aussie slang really, often I think something is aussie slang but I hear it elsewhere. Its British but less serious and more taking the piss. Is that Aussie? ‘Taking the piss’? See I don’t bloody know!
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We say taking the piss as well.
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Oh and yeah, my dog is the magnet. Works every time. I’m just a real awkward fucker!!
I just thought of this – you want Aussie slang? Listen to this track – not only is it a homage to one of hip-hops greatest – Big L – but its a Aussie version of the song Ebonics! Some proper dirty Aussie slang there, have a listen mate!
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Thanks for the link, think I expanded my slang vocabulary. As I said in a previous comment, if you have no luck with ladies there’s always porn to watch. Wouldn’t you agree?
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Hahahaha indeed there is. Indeed there is. Thank god haha!
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I take it you’re an avid porn watcher then, haha.
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Not avid, just… its good that exists hahaha 😀
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I understand man, can’t beat a bit of porn every now and then.
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I must sign off now dude, will talk to you tomorrow.
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Good night, Satrap! Good dreams!
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I hope to have good dreams, especially after the revealing discussions today, haha.
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later duderino
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I’m back dude, what were we last chatting about? Oh yes, Aussie girls.
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**up there
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LOL! Funny as always! Love this post! 🙂
Thanks to the link back! Appreciate it so much!!!!
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THANKS KIM!!!!!! Of course!!!!
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So THAT’s what No Country For Old Men was about! Haven’t seen it yet, don’t know if I want to, but it sounds like a winner. That is probably what I like best about your reviews Eric – brutal honesty. Maybe one day. lol
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HAHAHA!! Thanks, boss!!!! Both of these movies are actually pretty good : )
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Did you write this from Mykonos?
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I don’t even know what that means, you cocksucker, but no.
BTW – I took the dogs for a walk yesterday and the ragweed growing in your yard is killing me. Will you buy some weedkiller for fuck’s sake???
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Ah, you figured me out!! But you’ll never catch me!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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I’ll spend my entire life tracking you down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I live in Canada, there’s lots of space to hide. You’ll never find me, NEVAR!!!
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I’m very persistent!!!!!
#devoted
: )))))))))))))
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I’m a bit gutted I missed this conversation as it was all going off!!
My money’s on Colonel Vinnie – in the library with the candlestick.
Great half assed reviews Pen and that picture of the man with a woman’s haircut – WOW! What an amazing picture. Quite a ……..face he has there! Love it!!
I didn’t enjoy No Country for Old Men as much as some people, though it has its moments (and some good cast) I haven’t seen Zodiac.
We have a handyman at work called Eugene. He was walking around the other day and his willy fell out.
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Clam!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks thanks thanks and —
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT????????????????
Just popped on out????????
#willy
Love Pen
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Yeah!! Just like your lady in the lift!!
🙂
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WHOOPS!!!!!!!
#willyout
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What makes you think it was me Emma?
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Aww no not really!! You’re too nice!!!
(see how easy I slip?! I’d never be the bad cop would I!)
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Thanks for the title of Colonel Emma.
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Colonel Vinster!
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It definitely gives me that air of distinction.
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Colonel Vinster – the Satrap of Sin!
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I have never seen Zodiac, so I was a little scared that there would be a few spoilers here. I feel that my fears were slightly misplaced.
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You can always trust me!
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When do we find out who committed the crime Eric?
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We’ll never know!!!
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Let’s just say it was me, hehe.
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Sounds good!
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My x-rated mind was the perpetrator of the crime, haha.
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HA!
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As Emma said, it was Colonel Vinnie.
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The Satrap of Sin!
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Or the hay loving and nurse uniform liking master of Sin.
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just don’t get any hay up your butt!
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The nurse fantasy sounds more realistic anyway.
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Probably so….
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Probably a lot safer as well, at least it’s with someone from the medical profession.
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Yes – good logic!
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The medical examination could prove very interesting.
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Ha! Love it! Great post.
I saw No Country when it came out and I remember thinking “pff, well, that was all a bit slow and dusty and disappointing” and also “what the actual shit? everyone else thinks this is THE SHIT? But I just think it’s KIND OF SHIT”. Well, maybe that’s a bit strong but you get my point. Anyway, I watched it again recently and came to pretty much the same conclusion.
I also saw Zodiac and remember liking that a lot more than No Country but it’s quite long and then when you never really find out what happened because sometimes that’s the way life goes and this is based on a true story so but what the actual shit? That kind of annoyed me. After such a long film, about such a gruesome subject I felt like I wanted some (I hate to use such a wanky term)…closure.
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I felt the same way about both of them too!!! Neither of them finished… I actually DIDN’T like No Country the first time I watched it – at all, but the second time I thought it was pretty good. Actually that’s the same story with Zodiac too. How about that??? WHOOP!!!!
SHIT ON IT!
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#greatminds
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#besties
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Double bill and a half!
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WOOF!!!
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I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot.
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What??
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Hahaha I am being a dickhead – that is from that stupid 27bslash6 site I was telling you about. Some guy read the blog and sent him an email, with my previkous comment being the subject header hahahaha
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Ok – I didn’t quite get that one… : (
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Lol there was nothing to get, I was just being a random dickhead ;P
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Just thought I’d say the Zodiac killer is definitely that hispanic woman from your work! She was distracting you with tit whilst hiding her cleaning products…
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I like it!!
#resolution
#tit
#cheerleaders
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Be wary of her… She sounds scary!
#cleaningtits
#washthewindows
#feedthehorse
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HAHAHAHA!!! Best tag ever!!
#cleaningtits
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Who doesn’t need their tits cleaned? #cleaningtits
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Exactly!! it’s a constant problem!!
#cleaningtits
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It seriously is! #dirtytits #cleaningtits
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HAHAHAHAHA !!!!!
Googlers will love this post!!
#dirtytits
#cleantits
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They come looking for porn, they leave #cleaningtits their #dirtytits
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
#cleaningtits is still cracking me up!!!
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It’s my new favourite hash tag! I’m glad you enjoy it so much! #cleaningtits
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I fucking love it and I’m so glad we met!
#cleaningtits
#anotherroundplease
#herestoafastdollar
#thatsanoldtoast
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I’m so glad we met too! You’re a funny fucker!
#whiskeyallround
#dollaaaaaa
#oldtoastdonttastegood
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#werockitthemost
#cocktailsandcigarettes
#drunkenthightouches
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#rockingallovertheworld
#fagsandpints
#drunkboobgrace
P.S. I’m off to watch Nekromantik now! It was titalating talking to you today! Speak tomorrow you dirty ho! #cleaningtits #commandobedtime
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I’m out too for a while! It was EPIC talking to you today!!! Talk tomorrow!!!
#ihope
#commandobedtime
#drunkboodgrace
#fuckingloveit
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Morning! Hope you’re well 🙂
#hopecametrue
#commandomorning
#sunshinegroping
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Good morning!!!!!!!!
#happywednesday
#humpday
#morningfondles
#wishescametrue
I hope you’re doing good today!!
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Good afternoon!
#happyhumpingday
#stilldontknowwhathumpdayis
#illbehumpingyou
I am doing well – stressful morning with heating engineers that don’t fix anything, but better now! I hope you’re good also 🙂
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Good afternoon!!!
#soundsfuckinggreat
#happywednesdaytome
I’m doing Ok so far!
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I want afternoon tea now!
#humpingwednesday
#humpdaygrope
Glad to hear that 🙂
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You and me both!!!
#everydaygroping
#everydayfondling
#everydaywhispering
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#Teaandtits
#everydaystroking
#everydayperving
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YESYESYESYESYES
#ifuckingloveit
#youarethefuckingbest
#everydaytalking
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LOVEITLOVEITLOVEIT
#fackinglaveit
#noyouarethefuckingbest
#talkeveryday
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!!!
#loveyou
#supersqueezygropes
#everydaytalking
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#luvootoo
#suffocatingsqueezyhug
#chitchat
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#squeezethefuckoutofyou
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#squeezemetillimdead
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You’re no good to me dead!!!
#warm #alive #soft
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I think I’d make a great dead play friend! #cold #quiet #alwaysupforit hahaha
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HAHAHAHHA!!! #stillbetterwarmandsoft
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You’re probably right!
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WHOOP!
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Oh my god. Sweet doorknobs Eric!
#mysterysies
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Thanks Anna!!!!!!
#doorknobbies
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I love that hairo! lol its like what’s that girl who used to ice skate in the 80s? That hairdo. I haven’t watched any movies lately very depressing. 😦
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What can I do to help you change this????
#ballerstogether
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Do you seriously have doorknobs like that?!?!
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Yes!!!!!
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That’s fucking cool!!!!!! And kind of satanic….
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Satanic?? Are you my dad??
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Dearest Chop,
Nice reviews here! I thoroughly enjoyed both of these movies, to be honest 🙂
Love,
JB
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Fairest PJB,
(So did I)
Love,
SSC
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ERIC ISAACS IS THE ZODIAC KILLER!!!! I KNEW IT!!!! 😉
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THE SECRET IS OUT!!!!! THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED!!!! THE CHILDREN ARE SAFE!!!!!
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I KNEW I KEPT YOU LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT FOR A REASON!!!!!!!!!!
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#itreturnstoitshome
#after
#itprobes
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