Isaacs Picture Conclusions

BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP (2014) THREE TOP HATS

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I didn’t know shit about going into this movie aside from the fact that I like Nicole Kidman and Mark Strong. And when I say I like Nicole Kidman I really mean that I like Nicole Kidman’s butt and the trailer for this seemed like a lucrative chance for me to witness it again. Which I did. Somehow I’m not able to find a clean picture of that shot out on the web at this time but the trailer had some of this:BIGTS3

But, luckily I have a quick mind and sometimes a good memory so I amย able to showcase my incredible hunting skills with a still from the semi-OK movie DEAD CALM:BIGTS2

Now that that’s out of the way I’d like to get something off my chest. I’m not in the habit of reading things older than I am – I don’t know why, I’m just not – so I can’t say if he was the FIRST to write something like this or not but – back in the 80s a guy named Gene Wolfe wrote a book called “Soldier of the Mist”:

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It was about a Roman soldier named Latro who got whacked in the head with a sword and lost his memory, so every day he would write himself the events of his day and when he woke up in the morning he would read them to know who he was and what his life was all about. It’s actually a very good book if you’re into good reading so check it out if you like. Anyway, when the wonderful and totally FIVE TOP HAT MEMENTO came out I was all “This is really good but you’re a fucking copier, Nolan!!!” And I sent him a letter telling him so, but I really didn’t, because I’m sure he’s never read “Soldier of the Mist” but – COPYCAT!!!!! Oh well – I’m sure he’ll never read this either but, here we are again with another copy of the book – this time starring Kidman, Mark Strong and an English fellow named Colin Firth.BIGTS4

This time around, a woman wakes up and stumbles into her bathroom naked and looks at pictures of her on the wall. She doesn’t know what the fuck is going on until her husband wakes up and explains everything to her before he goes to work. Suddenly a phone rings and it’s the voice of a doctor that’s been treating her on the sly telling her to go get a hidden video camera out of a shoe box. She does and sees what’s going on and then goes through her day piecing her life together, becoming distrustful of her husband, the doctor and even her oldest friend, leaving herself conflicting videos for her to look at the next morning.BIGTS5

I thought this movie was going OK until the third act where it got kind of unbelievable. Even after that I was going to give this a FOUR TOP HATS but the fucking ending was so goddamned sappy and contrived that I about puked and shit all over the place. It’s definitely not a BAD movie – it’s well made, for sure, itย just kind of petered out to the end (like Brian’s Peter) and then the fucking very end was certainly NOT dope. Oh well, there you go. And to finish – for posterity:

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Also! In case you missed it or were still on fucking holiday – check out my entry into Cara’s April Fools marathon by clicking this mystery poster:

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80 comments

  1. I think I saw a trailer for this once and then forgot about it. I think I’ll give it a try. And Nicole Kidman does have a nice heiney.

    It really annoys me when movies are made and people think they’re so innovative and then you find out a book was written that was exactly the same 10 years earlier (I’m looking at you Hunger Games!!!) and the movie gets all the credit. Grumble grumble. But I suppose there are no original ideas and whatnot… Still irks me.

    Anyways, thanks for the review! If I check this movie out I’ll let you know what I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny stuff. I liked Memento, its a mindfuck cos I already have an extremely dysfunctional memory. This though sounds like Memento with some sort of sentimental crap thrown into the mix to not make it not seem like such a blatant rip off

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I loved Dead Calm and SUPER LOVED Memento which was a totally brilliant amazing film and Guy Pearce is a treasure.

    But this one? Hmm…seeing as I’ve not interest in Kidman’s arse I’m not sure there’s much reason to watch this.

    Liked by 1 person

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