Isaacs Picture Conclusions

GIRLHOUSE (2014) LOOKING GOOD BUT…. A MOVIE LIKE THIS NEEDS BOOBS….

girlhouse1

When I first heard about this thing I was ALL OVER IT. This sounded just perfect – just my type – my kind of movie. Another TGOGTSBPOOBO to add to the page! I mean, this just screams THE IPC:

“A HALLOWEEN-style slasher for the digital age, it follows a beautiful young college student who, needing money for tuition, moves into a house that streams content to an X-rated website. After a deranged fan hacks in to determine the house’s location, she finds herself in a terrifying fight for her life”

Right??? So I rented this fucker and right from the start it was disappointing and actually painful watching this hot chick do everything she can to hide her boobs. She dances and writhes and shimmies and shakes but #noboobsย girlhouse2

So she moves into this house where clients will pay to see her dance and writhe and shimmy and shake and beat off and have sex and all of that good stuff and see her beautiful roundies but #noboobs

There are some other attractive girls in the house who strut their stuff and give themselves fake orgasms on screen – and even make out with each other but guess what: #noboobsgirlhouse3

I will go on record and say that this movie looks really good and the ladies are attractive and the practical gore effects are top notch but: #noboobsgirlhouse4

I should also say that the villain in this is actually one of the better characters / masks I’ve seen in recent years and – something that is lacking in most of the movies I watch, he actually has a MOTIVE to do what he does, unlike, to name one of a million, CREEP VAN – where we never know shit about what’s going on. There’s a big set up at the beginning of this that every young boy probably went through at some point with or without the mind crushing side effects but………….. #noboobsgirlhouse5

Good looking ladies in states of undress, good looking gore and practical effects, good looking HD resolution with a killer that has motive and anger. #noboobs

Oh – just in case the filmmaker comes out here to correct me, there are a couple of boobs at some point, I think when someone comes out of the shower….

So, if you’re sitting there at the bus stop reading this and you cinematic blue balls like me, here you go:

SGGIF

78 comments

  1. Where do you go to find these movies? About 60% of the stuff you review, the internet doesn’t seem to think exists! This, Everly, Spirit Camp, Bloody Bible Camp… I keep searching iTunes for a rental, but there is no sign of it. It is not fair. Ultimate #NoBoobs

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hey Eric, I think this sounds good and seeing as boobs aren’t a prerequisite for my enjoyment of films (I’ve got my own, after all), the lack of on-screen knockers doesn’t phase me. Possibly a bit daft though, to be set in a house set up for online boob-peeking and not show any boobs. Strange.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. To boob or not to boob, that is the question… I’m sorry you didn’t get to see any boobs here, Eric. Can imagine how disappointed you must have been. What a fucking tease this film is, ehh? Anyways, hope I can satisfy you with my Friday post (hope I’m not creating too much of a build up here).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Pingback: Death Proof (2007)- and a little treat for a friend |

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