Isaacs Picture Conclusions

88 (2014) TWO TOP HATS

88a

I was (and always am) looking around for movies to watch and came across this thing on iTunes and my loins eyes are always eager to watch anything with Katharine Isabelle in it, so I checked out the trailer and it looked good so I gave it a rent. Here’s the plot from IMDB: “A young woman comes to in a roadside diner with no idea where she is or how she got there. Split between two timelines, she gets taken on a violent journey as she seeks out the person responsible for her lover’s death.” Sounds decent, right? Well – it isn’t. This split between two timelines bullshit got really old, really really fast – so much to the point that I didn’t care to keep trying to figure out what was going on and who was what and where and when and doing what and I almost didn’t finish it but I kept waiting and waiting to see if Isabelle’s top would fall off and it never did and the whole thing was just a shitty mess.  To quote THE CRITIC: It STINKS!88b2

Isabelle wakes up in a diner. She stares at the camera for three minutes. She drinks milk and smoke cigarettes. She is afraid of the table full of cops. She drops her backpack and a thousand gumballs roll out of it. She pulls out a gun and shoots the waitress. She runs and the inept fucking cops can’t stop her –> even though she pulls over to the side of the road and has a nap. CUT! In the next scene she is in the same car but wearing a short, red dress. A guy pulls up to see if she’s ok. She kills him and takes off with his truck. Conveniently his keychain has a ball with the number 88 on it. Later, she interacts with a guy with a blue eyeball and pisses on some dry goods in a convenience store.88c

Eventually, she goes around shooting everyone, including a number of cops, but is always rescued at the last minute by some dude who loves her – and he always ends up dead but comes back when she’s in trouble again. I’m certain he is supposed to represent a manifestation her nasty side but, this is so convoluted and just plain stupid-weird that I could really care less or give a fuck. For real, after about thirty minutes of trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, I really just gave up and more or less listened to the thing while I played my tower defense game on my iPad.88d

Christopher Lloyd is in this sometimes and he plays a strip joint owner who apparently killed Isabelle’s lover.  i don’t want to spoil this beauty for you but even a dumbass like myself figured out who killed the dude pretty early – and I wasn’t even paying that much attention. Sure, Isabelle is hot and foxy and sultry and looks sexy smoking a cigarette but even her hiking up her dress and having a pee wasn’t worth it. She eats a lot of pancakes, drinks a lot of milk and kills a bunch of people. Take the Pulp Fiction non-linearity and multiply that by 16 and you’ve got 88.88e

If you want to see Isabelle slink around in short skirts check out American Mary. You can see my dumb thoughts on that HERE or some wicked awesome thoughts on it HERE. 88 was pretty sucky and more confusing than a Harry Stephen Keeler book. One Top Hat for being made and One Top Hat for Isabelle’s short skirt! Here’s something MUCH better than 88:

88f

87 comments

  1. Well this sounds like poop. I’ll pass. Although, I feel like I’ve seen so many good movies lately that I need to watch something terrible so there is balance in the world. How do I know what’s good if I don’t see anything terrible??? That being said, I still think I’ll skip this one. I just got a movie about werewolves called Exists and it looks pretty terrible. I think I’ll give that one a go.

    #poop

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Too bad that hair flipping scene didn’t make the final cut of the film. Not the one I saw, anyways. Miss Kat is ridiculously gorgeous. And she’s usually great. I don’t give all her films a chance though, some sound just too horrible. Like Eerie 13 (I think that’s what it’s called anyways).
    As a sidenote, have we ever seen Kat’s full monty? Cause I’d watch just for that, no matter how bad the film is. Ok, no I wouldn’t. I’d just fast forward to that scene… 😉

    Like

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