(This post might take a minute to pull up due to the image at the bottom)
Also – I’ve been struggling with how to go about this piece since I’ve watched it and – I think I’m going to spoil this up. There’s not some big twist ending like THE SIXTH SENSE or anything but I think I’ll have to address a shortcoming in this thing that lead me to ultimately not ♥♥♥ it. I don’t know if anyone is rushing out to see this in the first place, but – if you’re looking forward to it – spoilers! Let’s see here…..
The opening sequence (a still, above) is actually pretty excellent and had me thinking that I was really going to like this movie and tweet to them how much I liked it and tell them “Great job, team!” and have a blast and jizz everywhere and thoroughly enjoy everything but then the first scene was over and they cut to some really boring and uninteresting shot for about thirty minutes so I had some serious blue balls serious doubts as to what was going on and why were they doing so much character development and who gives a fuck and I got bored and here’s some of this ¿ and even some ╗ and then a little Ü and then it got interesting again.
When we finally get into the fucking Tree House they introduce a a pretty cool supernatural element – growling and howling, a beast on the roof, hanged bodies in the trees the next morning and there’s a really cool bit where the two people in the tree house are assaulted with hundreds of rocks and these things invade your dreams and this was getting good. Eventually we are told the girl is diabetic and they need to get out of the fucking tree and get her some water and some soup so they make a break for it under the cover of night.
And here we go. Since she’s so feeble and weak they can’t go on, so they spend the night in the forest while these three beasty things prowl and prey and nothing happens somehow. The next day this kid carries the girl an untold distance and, while she convalesces in some stranger’s house, he roams around the landscape, inspecting the barn full of dead possums and – as it goes – he hears a commotion and looks out the barn window and the things that were causing so much damage are coming home and it’s just three dudes wearing masks. And riding a motorbike. There went all of the credibility and excitement this had going for it and this fizzles off into mediocrity as we roll to the ambiguous and strangely non-closing ending.
And that’s that, I reckon. I doubt I’ll ever watch it again even though it had some good stuff going for it every now and then. Oh well – in case you also got blue balls from reading this post here’s a little something to get you going again – enjoy:
That gif seriously cured my case of blue balls Eric.
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Excellent!!!
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I definitely needed that, haha.
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Happy Thursday!
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Happy Thursday indeed buddy.
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Got a busy day today?
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Actually no, it’s a relaxing day for me.
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perfect!
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Need a rest after last night.
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Sounds okay for a one-off watch but the cop out ending is disappointing!!! O _ o o _ O
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Clam!!!!
That’s about right….. I don’t think I need to watch this again……………..
Love Pen!!
O _ o o _ O
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O _ o o _ O
Love Clam 🙂 🙂
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Happy Thursday dear Clam!!
O _ o o _ O
Love Pen!!
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Happy Thursday dear Pen!!!
Almost Friday : ) and phase 1 of our plan will go into action at the weekend promise! O _ o o _ O
Love Clam!!!
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I can’t wait, dear Clam!!!!! Let’s go!!!!
Love Pen!!
O _ O o _ O
❤ ❤
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Sugar Pappy!
Sounds like lots of potential went down the drain!
Love,
Kidney
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Sweet Kidney!!!!
Yep – what a bust!!
Love,
Sugar Pappy!
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I stopped ready for after the spoiler alert because I feel like this is right up my alley. I shall return after I watch it.
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Good luck, my friend!! I do hope you like it!!!
How about: #satanicblackandwhitetv
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Yikes! That would be like the poltergeist meet Charlie Chaplan
#satanicsharpie ? It would go around writing lewd things on people’s foreheads
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HAHAHAHA!!!! YES!!
#satanicmarkermoustaches
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Hahahahahahahahhaha!!! Omg. Hilarious!
#satanicangrymarkereyebrows
#satanicsurprisedmarkereyebrows
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HAHAHAHA!!!
#satanicmarkerprisonteardrops
#satanicmarkerfreckles
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Hahahahshahahahhaha!!
#satanicmarkerfacetattoos
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HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! This is the best!!
#satanicfrankensteinneckbolts
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This IS the best!
#satanicmarkeroverdrawnmakeup
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I love it!!
#satanicmarkersupereyelashes
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Awesome!
#satanicmarkerkiss
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HA!!
#satanicredsharpie
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I always come here to cure my blue balls, no matter the topic.
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Perfect! The IPC: A place to jizz.
Hey – just so you know – if you care or not – I’ve been thinking of re-posting all of the drive in things out here….
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YES! I’m that site’s biggest fan!
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With your seal of approval, it shall be done!
#jizzbutt
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This sounds interesting, what kind of drive in movies?
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I used to do a feature called “Let’s Sneak In To the Drive In” and then I turned it into its own site but its impossible to keep up two sites so I let it slip. I’m going to repost those things out here soon : )
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Ooh, this sounds interesting Eric. Are these drive in movies naughty?
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Very NSFW….
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Even more of a reason for me to look forward to them.
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This should be fun!
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Definitely, have you gave any more thought to us reviewing Laura’s Toys?
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I’m game for it – I’ll need to rewatch it at some point –
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Sounds good, if you want to discuss any information regarding, you know my e-mail.
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Sounds good!
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Thanks for letting me do these features with you Eric, you’re a true buddy.
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Of course : ) Any time – I’m just VERY slow at getting to writing….
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Sending you many high fives boss.
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Also, two days to go.
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Yep!
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Let the sexy countdown continue.
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WHOOP!
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On Saturday it’s gonna get steamy.
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Thought I should let you know as you may have missed it, I reviewed The Wicker Man the other day. I know how you love Britt Ekland.
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I did miss that – I’ll go check it out after my break
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Sounds good Eric.
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Hey – I was just thinking – I’m not going to be around much this weekend – you’ll have to be in charge on Saturday….
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What do you need me to do, you have the full post and I thought it was gonna be published on your site.
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It is – I was thinking about tending to comments and such….
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So does that mean you will publish it on Saturday? If you’re busy, I could tend to the comments for you.
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Yes – it’s scheduled to publish on Saturday – I probably won’t be able to get online much this weekend –
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I’ll only tend to the comments if it’s alright with you buddy, always want to be of help.
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Perfect!
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Thanks, I’ll be ready for Saturday buddy. You do what you gotta do elsewhere and leaves the comments to me. You can trust me brother.
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Thanks, Ace!
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We’re a team Eric, we stick together no matter what. Setting my alarm clock early for Saturday, can’t wait to see the finished result of our work. Have a great weekend.
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I can do the questions for most of Saturday, on Sunday I might have a few things to do, but I’ll try and answer some of them.
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Sweet!
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Eric, is it alright when I’m answering the comments on Saturday if someone asks where you are, to just say you’re busy for the weekend? Just wanted to check.
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of course!
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Thanks, enjoy your weekend buddy. Leave the comments to me, I’ll do my best to answer them for you.
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Sounds good!
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High fives brother.
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Word up!
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Woo Hoo, Satrap is shaking his ass in agreement that this Saturday is gonna rock. Don’t kill me if I don’t get chance to answer every question, I’ll try my level best boss.
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The IPC: the leading cure for blue balls.
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LOL!!!
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I’ll give it a go if I get a chance. Also, did you know that Jennifer Aniston is 46 years old!?! Still looks great!
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It’s probably not too bad for free – I wouldn’t waste money on it like I did….
46?? No I didn’t! I better start working out so I can give her her birthday spankings!
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I would laugh if she actually did allow you to give her a spanking and then she simply got up and walked away and that was the last you ever saw of her. lol
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I’d take it!!!
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I feel I can afford to give it a miss.
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Totally! Thanks for reading and the comment!
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The most interesting blog posts always have spoilers….and also I HATE supernatural horror when it turns out to be three dudes in masks!!! Blueballs indeed!
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I know! Isn’t that BULLSHIT!!!???
Thanks for coming to see me today!!!
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You’re welcome. I’ve been going through a bunch of personal crap that has made me withdrawn lately but I do miss talking to the WordPress folks.
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I miss you!!
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Likewise! I’m watching the Rifftrax version of Umberto Lenzi’s crappy unofficial Evil Dead sequel, Ghosthouse, hope you are watching something fun today also.
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Excellent!! I’m either going to watch Insomnia with Al Pacino or something called Backcountry about a killer bear : )
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Definitely go for the killer bear, just to see if anyone’s head gets ripped off.
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You got it!
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I skipped the review to avoid potential spoilers. Think I’d like this one?
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No, I don’t – I think you’d hate the way this ends up, the twist and the ending….
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I looked it up on netflix and a “Bob the Builder” movie popped up. I wonder which is better…
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LOL – probably Bob the Builder
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LOL
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I don’t know how i got through this one, i think too many horrors are making me hate the shit ones
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Yep – this thing was pretty lame…….
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I have been waiting for you to watch this. Really wanted to hear your opinion. It is basically the Wrong Turn but not the Wrong Turn (how haven’t the writers been sued?!). I quite liked the character-building and when they were in the treehouse, it was actually quite creepy (scary is the wrong word, but ‘hold-your-breath’ kind of thing!). Then I realised it was essentially the Wrong Turn, but where the bad guys were just ‘blokes’. It would have been better if they kept the weird prosthetics of the actual Wrong Turn movies.
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Yep – it was going pretty good until we find out that they’re just three dudes and everything went bad. How did they hang those people in those trees? What’s with all of the rocks?? Why did the guy rip the girl’s shirt off and then just decide to punch her?
MEH!
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Gotta sign off a little earlier today Eric, got a long night ahead of me. Thanks for bestowing upon me the honor of comment reply duty on Saturday. Talk tomorrow boss.
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Talk tomorrow! busy busy here!
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I hear there’s lots of well hung guys in this.
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You know how you keep an Irishman out of your back yard, right?
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No, go on tell me.
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Hang one out front!
BAM!
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Not one of your best. Also why would someone come into the backyard of your trailer?
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I sometimes think the worst kinds of horror movies are the middle ground ones where they’re not shitty enough to be funny or hate-watchable! Sounds like this hits right in that awkward middle ground! Nice write-up though EI.
#treehousies
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It IS Anna!!! Perfect description!!!
#descripties
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Stop watching crap like this and go watch Afflicted 🙂
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Chief,
I’ve looked at that Afflicted trailer a few times and have never been sold – I’ll check it out when I can find it for free : )
Love,
EI
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The trailer is what swung it for me, but even that doesn’t do the film justice. Hope you catch it one day anyway dude
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Will do!
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Hmm. I love the poster, and the movie sounds like something I’d check out, but if the ending fizzles, I’m not sure. I’m so happy you found that gif to cheer you up Eric😊 And it’s Friday!
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My Dearest Kim,
There are much better things for us to watch than this poo!!
Love,
Eric
{hugs}
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I’d be lost without you!
{Hugs}
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I’m here for you, Sweetness!!
{{hugs}}
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Sounds thoroughly disappointing. Sorry, bro.
#IWorryThatMiguelHasATreehouseLikeThisThatIDontKnowAbout
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It looks like some of those sparkles are coming out of J Aniston’s vijay….
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The just might be, HUH???
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Sounds bad. And good. Disappointing. The ‘twist’ sounds a bit like that shitty film Preservation. That was shitty.
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Preservation sucked!! I opened the last shitfest with it……
#shitfest
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It’s totally shitty enough to be shitfest worthy. SO SHIT!
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Fuck Preservation!!!!!!
#fuckpreservation
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#shitonit
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#thatmoviecangofuckitself
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Say what you mean!
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We’re all about honesty here!
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I might check this at some stage to see what it is all about, so stopped when you said spoilers follow!
When I have time, that is, and if I remember hahahahaha!
Sorry to hear it wasn’t the greatest thing you’ve seen recently 😦
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I don’t think you’d like this one very much…..
*low fives*
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In which case, I might just avoid it altogether then…
#lowfives
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#soundsgood
#lowfives
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