Have you been able to see this yet? Do you live in the mountains of Utah in a place called Satan’s Asshole??? Have you read enough about this that your sick of it?? Well – this is my favorite movie of the year so far so I figured I had better put something out about it so I can keep my Street Cred. Or is it “Kred”? I never know what’s going on and no one ever tells me anything and KIDS TODAY!!! One time I took this poll to see if youths would like me and the result was “Teens don’t know you exist and they don’t care about you” (or something). Anyways – It Follows is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking good I went and saw it twice in the theater and plan on giving it a buy when it comes out. Chances are, you already read about this elsewhere by much better writers than me but I’ll give something a shot here.This opens up with a wickedly refreshing camera shot rotating 360 degrees, following a scantily clad chick in high heels, running from something unseen, stopping and staring and running some more before she gets her car keys and peels out, driving away from something. The camera work was absolutely a blast and the music they utilized was pretty amazing. Moments later, we watch as she talks to her dad on a cell phone and apologizes for being such a nasty slut, fucking around with everyone including the child molesting school janitor and asking forgiveness for the wild sex orgies with the local chapter of the Skinheads. That last part may or may not be true and I may have written that to see if you were paying attention but, the next morning she wakes and she’s………. that’s right —>
DEADER THAN FUCK!!!!!
I hope that’s not a big movie ruiner for you since that happens in the first five minutes before you even had a chance to cut the hole in your popcorn bucket and stick your wiener in it so your date gets a surprise when she digs for some salty goodness and ends up giving you a surprise Handie while you nod your head and wink and give the thumbs up sign repeatedly to the guy on the other side of him / her. Still paying attention??? GOOD!
After those tragic events, we shift our focus to a very cute, slightly dreamy blond who may or may not be a semi-hipster with a case of The Mopeys. This part of the film is actually a little slow and may give some people some pause as to why this is getting so much hype but TRUST me, it really picks up after all of the drama. I can’t remember the exact time of the movie but when you see this fragile old bird ↓ ↓, the thing really picks up, grabs you by your tiny testicles and never lets go until the end. Or was that your date ripping through the popcorn bucket????
This School Scene is absolutely fucking fantastic and sets up the WONDERFUL Kitchen Scene and the subsequent Beach Scene (which was my favorite part), the House Across the Street Scene and then the brilliant Pool Scene. I absolutely fucking loved this movie and if I wasn’t already married I would totally marry it. I know that I hate over-hyped things, I really do – too much hype ruined Guardians of the Galaxy for me but, for real, you just HAVE to see this if you ever get the chance. I know I haven’t got into what this is about and the intrinsic nature of Cautionary Tales and the hidden meanings of this or that shit because the only thing you need to know about this is that: IT FOLLOWS.
Satan’s Asshole is the worst. Still haven’t seen this movie… I’m going to have to wait until VOD. Glad you liked it so much though, seems to be in line with what everyone else has said.
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I’m excited for you to eventually see it!
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You really do like this movie Eric, I can see that. Excellent work boss.
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I really do!! Thanks, El Toro!
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El Toro must be my new nickname now as well as Satrap. Are you gonna give the readers any inkling of our post tomorrow? Or leave it for full surprise?
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I thought about it but then I forgot ….
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Probably best to leave for a surprise eh.
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Sinister!
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Hehe, I wonder what the reaction will be like.
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I’m eager to see….
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Me too, and thanks for letting me take charge of commenting tomorrow. It means a lot and I’m always happy to help a blogging buddy out.
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WOO HOO!
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Woo Hoo indeed my good friend.
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Signing off now buddy, I await tomorrow with great anticipation.
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Have a good one, man!!
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Tomorrow is gonna get steamy, Adios brother.
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Did I say It Swallows yet?
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Not yet, you cocksucker.
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I smell a sequel.
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I smell some sort of small, foul mammal…. named Brian.
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Do glad you found it as awesome as I did!
Great review!
#youreafreakingmazing
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I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED it!!!!!!
THANK YOU, Melissa!!!! I tried to do it some justice : )
#youretheamazingone
#satanicbesties
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I need to finish up my parody version of this. I got drunk instead of filming the last scene. Damn me
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LOL!!!!
Is it It Probes?????
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Yes. Starring Ruby as Maika Monroe and Arthur the Trophy as Miguel
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Fucking beautiful!
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HELL YES!!
Deader than FUCK!! Haha!!
Yes man, I loved that 360 camera rotation too. So slow… and then it stops and zooms in….. creepy shit!!!
Fucking HILARIOUS write up man, loved it. Now I wish I was getting a handie through a popcorn bucket when I go to the cinemas. It’d be a nice change! Hahaha Deader than FUCK
I’m seriously going to murder people if they bring out a sequel to this
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HAHAHAHA!!! I put that in there just for you!
Thank you sir!! Who knows?? Maybe some day a popcorn handie is in your future!!
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HAHA!! ahhh shit haha, one day… day day…
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I believe!
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errr… day day? I need some sleep
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LOL
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problem is it is almost day now… suns gonna come up soon. No wonder I accidently wrote day day! No point in sleeping now, I might go watch It Follows again at the early session at the cinemas! :D:D
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GOOD CALL!
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So she woke up dead, huh? I hate that.
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You caught that!!!!! YES!!!!!
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Just watched the trailer after reading this, too. The music sounds great.
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The music is absolutely fantastic – I watch the trailer often to revisit it – I think you’d like this one –
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i’m putting it on my very long to-watch list.
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Check!
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One of my faves of the year. That scene at the start was pretty grisly. It’s a corker isn’t it?
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Definitely my favorite movie of the year, so far. Give me Fury Road or give me death!!
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I really need to see this, don’t I? I’m worried about more nightmares though!
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Abbi it’s soooooooooooooooo good!
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LOVED IT! Once again it was last year’s only 5 star film! I need this on Blu-ray, like yesterday! Bring on ‘Fury Road!’
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LET’S GO!!!!
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‘Twas a solid little psychological fucker wasn’t it King of the Iperdome? I’m thrilled it’s scored this much with you. It Follows is a lucky bitch.
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A lucky bitch you say Tom.
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I LOVED IT, my dear Itch. Loved it like I love you!
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I must live in Satan’s Asshole, Utah because I haven’t seen this yet and I need to fix that soon! I appreciate the lack of spoilers in this write-up because I read it anyway! Nice work EI!
#utahsies
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I’m in agreement Anna, I’ve got to fix the fact that I haven’t seen this movie.
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Awesome review Eric! I’ve heard of this but I didn’t realize it was so good.😏
#itfollows
#quietquiet
#jujitsu
#ericneversteersuswrong
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Eric’s a bit busy today, so I’m in charge of commenting. I do hope to see this movie as soon as I can.
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Hi Vinnie! I wish it was on Netflix😕
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I’m sure it will be at sometime in the future Kim.
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FUCK YES, IT FOLLOWS!!!! I’d forgotten that you hadn’t reviewed this yet! Five top hats indeed, my friend!!! This is tied with Kingsman as my favorite movie of 2015 so far! 😀
#sogood
#itprobes
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FUCK YEAH, SON!!!!!!!! Is it wrong that I totally picture you and me as Kelly and Paul??? Sure I’m too old but if I was younger that would totally be us : )
#probiesforever
#itprobes
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Loooolllll. Would we be that hipster?!
#hipsterprobes
#itprobes
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Probably not…. More casual, I would think….
#itprobes
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I liked this, but not as much as you. I was hoping for a stronger ending. I loved how strong “Starry Eyes” ended – and I was hoping for something more along the lines of that. I liked it, though. It had likable characters, even the neighbor guy who had flaws in his character was not all bad. And the score was great. It was definitely fun to watch the first time around.
On another note, I watched “Ex Machina” yesterday and it didn’t live up to the hype, in my opinion. It was good, but I was expecting more at the end. I honestly don’t know how I feel about it. It’s definitely not bad or anything. I’m just not sure I like that ending very much. I think you’d like “Ex Machina” if you want to check it out for yourself.
Honestly, I have only been a big fan of one film of 2015, thus far, and it’s a low budget indie that didn’t get a theatrical release. I stumbled upon it on netflix. It’s called “Something, Anything” and it’s basically a drama about a young woman who starts to recognize how shallow society is, and gradually frees herself from all of the less-important distractions in life. And I actually really liked the ending, as I felt it wasn’t overly done or predictable. *Also, the lead girl resembles Jessica Alba a bit, so always a big plus. 🙂
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Fair enough! The ending did kind of fizzle out but the experience of the whole thing was just great for me! I watch the worst shit on the planet for this site and something so fresh and new just blew me away.
I think Ex Machina looks kind of lame – at least – not movie going worthy for me – maybe when it’s out on Netflix for free…. I’ll look in to Something, Anything – I need to go update my queue soon –
And – Starry Eyes was GREAT! This weekend I watched Taken 3 and Hot Tub Time Machine 2 and they both sucked incredible ass!
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TAKEN 3 and HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2? That is clearly a cry for help! You need to get counseling from Brian and watch “The Imitation Gorilla”.
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Yes…. we made some poor choices this weekend……..
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Oh, was you and Mrs. IPC?
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Yup!
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What’s wrong with your wife that she doesn’t like limbs flying and blood gushing? She’s not normal like us!
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She’s got tons more class than us!
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Oh yeah, by the way, “Equalizer” sequel is happening! 🙂
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Great news!
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I am sure this is a goodie Chop, didn’t read anything though because I am really looking forward to seeing it and I am trying to go into this movie with as little knowledge as I can possibly wrangle! Keep hearing good things about this, so I am glad to see that you enjoyed it, too!
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YOU’LL LOVE IT!
#virgineyes
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I’m gonna eat you two bastards up, Itch!!!
Love,
Ipes
#75
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