Isaacs Picture Conclusions

LET’S KILL WARD’S WIFE (2014) THREE + TOP HATS

LKWW1Ward’s wife is a bitch and everyone hates her. She treats Ward like a cunt and berates him in front of his friends and family.  She smokes while she breastfeeds and throws things at him while he’s taking a shit. One day someone says “We should kill her and bury her and make all of our lives easier.” It’s no spoiler that one day, someone does just that. What follows is a very low budget VERY BAD THINGS that is written, starring and directed by – what seems to – a bunch of good friends who probably pooled their lunch money one week and knocked out a movie. I rather liked this thing – I think it was good fun and sometimes quite funny but it might not be for everyone… of course, that’s probably the case with most of the things I write about out here. Or rather, most of the things I watch out here no one needs to ever see. Let’s see here.LKWW5

Patrick Wilson’s real life wife plays Ward’s wife. Scott Foley, the director and one of the leads, is married to the chick who plays Patrick Wilson’s wife in the movie. The chick who plays Foley’s wife in the movie is married to the “single dude” of the group.  Does that makes sense? Do you care? Do you like the last name “Dominczyk”?? Does this make sense? N = R_{\ast} \cdot f_p \cdot n_e \cdot f_{\ell} \cdot f_i \cdot f_c \cdot LLKWW3

Anyway, Ward’s wife is a cunt and one day Foley’s character is taking a phone call in Ward’s kitchen. It sounds suggestive and Ward’s wife overhears and threatens to tell Foley’s wife that he’s having an affair. Naturally, he smashes her head down into a birthday cake and she gets up, trips and cracks her head on the floor. Still nervous, he strangles her until she’s dead as fuck and then he goes and tells everyone. While I was watching this movie, I paused it a couple of times to try and figure out who the actors were and during one of those breaks I glanced at the message board which is never really a good thing.LKWW4

The most common thing I saw out there were multiple threads stating that “this movie condones murder” and that “murder is OK” because these characters are so ambivalent about the wife’s death, including her husband, and that no one wants to call the cops or turn in Foley as he just committed murder. I always know that I’m a little stupid but I didn’t take that from here. While i don’t think murder is funny I think the actions that everyone took afterwards were funny. Like “Well, I guess we can finally smoke in the house now” or “I guess we better figure out how to carve up the body” or “Well, I guess I can finally take a shit with door open”.LKWW2

As usual in these types of things, things start going bad with a nosy cop next door and someone gets a conscience about the whole thing, but I thought this was fun and don’t regret renting it. There’s definitely one really cool and funny scene. They’ve just cut the body up and bagged it in trash bags but they’re covered in blood, of course. So they all strip into their underwear and then the doorbell rings. I’m having trouble finding a pic of them all hiding AROUND a fireplace like human pretzels but that really stuck out as fun. In lieu of that, here’s a shot of some thing:LKWW6

Oh wait!! Look I found something!! Imagine these people all hiding from the cops around that fireplace!LKWW7

So, yeah, I thought this was good fun and worth the five bucks to rent it. If you go in expecting a miracle that will inspire you to overcome your greatest fears or finally go after that dream you’ve been wishing for your whole life, this might not do that for you. But, if you’re looking for some decent fun while you’re home sick on a Thursday afternoon and don’t feel like watching reruns of Green Acres, you should be good!

69 comments

  1. Mel @ The Creative Fox Den

    Great review! I like movies that don’t take themselves too seriously. I hate it when people are like, “This movie condones this or that,” especially when it’s a comedy. Come on, people! Let’s be real! They aren’t saying go kill your wife and if you can’t figure that out, then stop watching movies all together.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. emmakwall

    I really like Patrick Wilson and the word cunt! Love this review Pen 🙂 I’d definitely watch this!!!

    Love from the surprisingly potty mouthed Clam!

    O _ o o _ O love Clam! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • theipc

      LOL!!! I hope you like it! I don’t really know why you wouldn’t! : ))))))))))))))

      #pottymouthclam
      #dominatrixboots
      #itstenthirtyandihaventdoneshit

      Love! Pen!!

      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • theipc

        WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Only a few more days to the weekend!!!

        #rubbers
        #bibs
        #pensandclams
        #hardtimes

        Love Pen!!

        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

        #XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

        Like

  9. GaryGreg828

    I just finished watching this. I don’t feel inspired to chase my dreams! Damn it, Isaacs, i thought that was all your blog was supposed to be about! 🙂

    Actually, I was expecting more hurdles to come their way, and so for me the film ended a little abruptly, but it was good, nonetheless. I think you’re right, a group of actors pitched in some lunch money to produce and star in a little, light-hearted comedy about a typically serious topic.

    I was cracking up at a couple scenes where the wife was yelling at Ward b/c I have seen my friends’ wives/girlfriends do that to them and I’d always tell them to stand up for themselves. “The guys are playing golf on Friday for Father’s Day. I was wondering if I could go?” LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      LOL – a lot of people don’t know this but I was married once before, back in the mid-nineties and that individual was a lot like that. I remember, a few years ago, my friend showed me this post card I had sent him from my honeymoon in the Bahamas and I had written something like “I hate it here and I hate XXXXXXX” LOL

      Like

      Reply
      • GaryGreg828

        Wait a second, was this movie based off you? You had the black dude play your role to throw everyone off! Did Patrick Wilson play Scrotey???

        Liked by 1 person

  13. mistylayne

    “Very Bad Things” wasn’t really my thing (I know! Weird, right??) so I think I’m gonna skip this one but awesome review, E. Two things:
    *SMOKING* while breastfeeding?? And nobody punched her in the neck??
    I don’t know what it means but your algebraic equation thingamajig was super pretty!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. sweetarchive

    I don’t know if I’ll ever watch this one, but not because it doesn’t sound good, because it’s not weird enough… and I like me some weird movies… On a different note, I LOVE the fact that you rent movies. It’s so awesome. It’s not the usual watch online or Netflix, it’s renting!!! Brilliant:-)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. caragale

    “If you go in expecting a miracle that will inspire you to overcome your greatest fears or finally go after that dream you’ve been wishing for your whole life, this might not do that for you.” LOL! Because so many of the movies you watch have that effect. 😉

    Like

    Reply

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