Ward’s wife is a bitch and everyone hates her. She treats Ward like a cunt and berates him in front of his friends and family. She smokes while she breastfeeds and throws things at him while he’s taking a shit. One day someone says “We should kill her and bury her and make all of our lives easier.” It’s no spoiler that one day, someone does just that. What follows is a very low budget VERY BAD THINGS that is written, starring and directed by – what seems to – a bunch of good friends who probably pooled their lunch money one week and knocked out a movie. I rather liked this thing – I think it was good fun and sometimes quite funny but it might not be for everyone… of course, that’s probably the case with most of the things I write about out here. Or rather, most of the things I watch out here no one needs to ever see. Let’s see here.
Patrick Wilson’s real life wife plays Ward’s wife. Scott Foley, the director and one of the leads, is married to the chick who plays Patrick Wilson’s wife in the movie. The chick who plays Foley’s wife in the movie is married to the “single dude” of the group. Does that makes sense? Do you care? Do you like the last name “Dominczyk”?? Does this make sense?
Anyway, Ward’s wife is a cunt and one day Foley’s character is taking a phone call in Ward’s kitchen. It sounds suggestive and Ward’s wife overhears and threatens to tell Foley’s wife that he’s having an affair. Naturally, he smashes her head down into a birthday cake and she gets up, trips and cracks her head on the floor. Still nervous, he strangles her until she’s dead as fuck and then he goes and tells everyone. While I was watching this movie, I paused it a couple of times to try and figure out who the actors were and during one of those breaks I glanced at the message board which is never really a good thing.
The most common thing I saw out there were multiple threads stating that “this movie condones murder” and that “murder is OK” because these characters are so ambivalent about the wife’s death, including her husband, and that no one wants to call the cops or turn in Foley as he just committed murder. I always know that I’m a little stupid but I didn’t take that from here. While i don’t think murder is funny I think the actions that everyone took afterwards were funny. Like “Well, I guess we can finally smoke in the house now” or “I guess we better figure out how to carve up the body” or “Well, I guess I can finally take a shit with door open”.
As usual in these types of things, things start going bad with a nosy cop next door and someone gets a conscience about the whole thing, but I thought this was fun and don’t regret renting it. There’s definitely one really cool and funny scene. They’ve just cut the body up and bagged it in trash bags but they’re covered in blood, of course. So they all strip into their underwear and then the doorbell rings. I’m having trouble finding a pic of them all hiding AROUND a fireplace like human pretzels but that really stuck out as fun. In lieu of that, here’s a shot of some thing:
Oh wait!! Look I found something!! Imagine these people all hiding from the cops around that fireplace!
So, yeah, I thought this was good fun and worth the five bucks to rent it. If you go in expecting a miracle that will inspire you to overcome your greatest fears or finally go after that dream you’ve been wishing for your whole life, this might not do that for you. But, if you’re looking for some decent fun while you’re home sick on a Thursday afternoon and don’t feel like watching reruns of Green Acres, you should be good!