Isaacs Picture Conclusions

HEAVEN’S PRISONERS (1996) FOUR TOP HATS

In honor of tomorrow’s post, that I have been trying to write for two years, I present this oldie for the new generation of Most Beloveds (and when I use the term “new generation” – look at the old comments on this post, hardly any of those folks are around any longer : (((((((((((( ) :HP1

It’s mostly horror out here – in fact 98%, but every now and then we’ll dip our toes into something other – a comedy, maybe, a couple of Westerns, a handful of Sci-Fis – anything that fits my mood or my memories. Well – life hasn’t always been easy for me – I’ve made mistakes and fucked shit up, times have been hard and life was tough – and this came out during a very depressed time for me. Life was issuing out a bunch of Hard Times in 1996, and I watched this a LOT. Not that this is uplifting or anything, I just thought it was a good, solid movie that kept me entertained over and over and it kept me from being constantly depressed. Plus, let’s get the elephant out of the room: Teri Hatcher’s boobs.

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Speaking of Teri Hatcher’s boobs, have I ever told you that my uncle in Southern California runs a HVAC business?  Well he does and he’s had several “celebrity” run ins (I’ve had a couple too – if you felt the burning desire to read about them, I tried to chronicle them HERE). Anyway, last year, my relatives were in town for Thanksgiving and we all went out to eat at this Mexican Food joint and my uncle got a call on his cell. It was Jeff Probst – who is known for being the host of the U.S. version of the TV show Survivor. What does that have to do with anything, you ask. Well – after that call I was all “how funny” and my uncle was all “he doesn’t know how to work his thermostat” and I was all “what a drip!!” and he was all “did I tell you I installed an A/C unit in Teri Hatcher’s house??” and I was all “wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut  SHUT YO MOUTH!!!” and he was all “yup” and I was all “did you get a look at her boobs” and he was all “no” but my aunt was there so I don’t know if that was the truth or not.

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Anyways, so a good looking Alec Baldwin plays ex-drunken, ex-detective Dave Robicheaux who is off the force, running a bait shop outside of New Orleans married to the comely, Kelly Lynch.

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One day, a plane goes down in the water outside of where they live and he rescues a little Hispanic girl from the wreckage. Turns out that was a mob hit and soon enough the local toughs, up and including a corn rowed Eric Roberts, are after that girl trying to snuff out any survivors. Eventually, the mob puts a hit out on Robicheaux, but they kill his wife instead and things get dark and full of action from there.

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That’s Mary Stuart Masterson there – she’s the local stripper with the big heart. I’ve always liked Baldwin (and Teri Hatcher’s boobs) and I thought this was a well done action-drama. I’ve probably seen this 100 times and it’s never let me down, even when I watched it the other day for the 101st sitting. And – as a plus – look how happy Baldwin was when this psychic told him I would be writing about his movie 17 years in the future!

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Lastly – I want to state that I have always been AMAZED that people read my shit – I THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I say that because I want The Good and Most Beloved Reader to know that the next thing is not a plug for some company that’s paying me .03 cents for every unique hit I bring them – I would always rather my site be nice and cozy and friendly and warm – you know, like a Jack’s Bistro and not a Starbucks. So anyway, I found this the other month and then forgot about it until this last weekend and I thought I would share with other like minded Star Trek fans – check out these WICKED ASS Trek TOS shirts (The Avengers stuff is pretty cool too):

http://www.welovefine.com/search/Star%20Trek.html

See ya!

114 comments

    • theipc

      Are they pretty good? I’ve always meant to get them and always forget… O_o

      I’ve got In the Electric Mist queued up for a re-watch – I liked it too but not as much as this one (if I remember correctly) Tommy Lee seemed too old for the part…

      Like

      Reply
  10. dbmoviesblog

    I have always had a soft spot for Alec Baldwin and have seen most of his films, but sadly – not this one. I knew about it, but thanks for opening it for me. I mean, I personally think that his films are pretty decent, no matter what critics say. I can say I enjoyed ‘Malice’, ‘Getaway’, the kind of movies that got bad rating, but I thought were very entertaining.

    Like

    Reply
    • theipc

      Hey thanks for the comment!

      Me too – I think he’s made some stinkers but I liked Malice and The Getaway too – and The Edge and he was fantastic in The Departed.

      “Let me tell you something, I am God.”

      Like

      Reply
  11. lukebbtt

    I can almost see the internal struggle every time you watch this movie.

    “Fuck! Eric Roberts is in this!”
    “But so is Teri Hatcher’s boobs…”
    “But Eric Roberts!”
    “But Teri Hatcher’s boobs!”
    “But I can’t stand Eric Roberts!!!”
    “BOOBS!”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  12. Mel @ The Creative Fox Den

    You’ve been trying to write tomorrow’s post for two years?? Now I’m curious.
    I was wondering what an HVAC business had to do with Teri Hatcher’s boobs, haha! I like Baldwin as an actor too but I’m somewhat jaded by the feeling that he’s not a nice person in real life. That’s not founded in any fact whatsoever, I just get feelings about celebrities and the feeling from him is that he’s a bit of a know-it-all. You know the kind of person that goes to a dinner party and immediately asks what credentials you have? Where did you go to school, where do you work? And then they give you the slow, “Ohh…” if it wasn’t an impressive enough answer? That’s what I feel he’s like. But this movie sounds pretty decent. I shall give it a go (if I EVER get through my “To Watch” list, haha!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      Sweetest Kidney!!!

      I updated the link…. it still worked when I rescheduled this post… : ((((((((((((((((((((((((((

      6??????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      #southafricanJBs

      *hugs and Jager shots*

      Love,

      Sugar Pappy!

      Like

      Reply
  16. The Telltale Mind

    So after we last talked about this movie I went and got it. Skimmed through it for obvious reasons and remember watching it many years ago, but still haven’t had a proper sit-down yet. Don’t forget to find The Cool Suface for more ‘obvious reasons’. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. Pingback: REWOUND: REQUIEM FOR A DREAM [2000] | epileptic moondancer

  21. Tom

    Dear Izaqs,

    You weren’t kidding. . .scrolling through these comments made me nostalgic!!! FilmHipster, Wordschat, TysonCarter (well, I guess he’s back now), others. . . man! My how the times are a’changin’.

    Heh – heh. . . . and I just want to point out that you said ‘comely’ in this review. That was funny.

    Signed,

    T-Shit

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      Dear T-Shit-Itch,

      I know!! I sure miss some Filmhipster and Cinema Schminema….. : (((((

      Love,

      I-sacks

      P.S. You’re comely!!!!!

      Xxxxx

      Like

      Reply
  22. Lem

    Why the hell didn’t the Tile Doctor comment on this back in the day ?? Guess he was laz-ing it up as usual… Nice work amigo – and anxiously awaiting the 2-years-in-the-works post. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  24. emmakwall

    What a brilliant post dear Pen. I’m sorry you’ve had hard times that isn’t jerkey. Life is tough sometimes but we get there in the end hopefully! The IPC is my favourite blog (shhhhh!) and I’ve always hated Starbucks.

    #terihatchersboobs

    Love Clam! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      Oh thank you so much, my dear, dear, dear Clam!!! I can’t X you enough!!!!

      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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      You are the nicest to me!!!!!

      I just love you!!!

      Love Pen!!!

      O _ o o _ O

      #bibs

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • emmakwall

        Oh no, the pleasure is mine! Dear Pen I can’t X enough too : ) X X X

        You are so nice to me too, you look after me!!!!!!!!! I just love you too! “what this little old thing?! Why I just slipped it on!”

        Love Clam!!! #bibs #ankleclicks #hardtimes(jerkey) #thequeen #tornados(boo!) #beards #seanpertwee #alecbaldwin #boobs

        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      • theipc

        This old thing???? HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

        #derbies
        #umbrellas
        #ovalframes
        #london
        #wellies
        #boots
        #drawers
        #coffeecups
        #penishappy

        Love Pen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        #seanpertwee
        #marypoppins

        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

        Liked by 1 person

      • emmakwall

        best.comment. EVER!!!!!!!!!!

        #pensforever O _ o o _ O

        Love Clam! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
        P.S

        Monday<——————fuck off!

        Liked by 1 person

      • theipc

        Best. Clam. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

        #pensandclamsforever

        Love Pen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
        #XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

        O _ o o _ O

        #lovepen

        P.S. I’m so fucking tired today. I feel like I get NO rest over the weekend…..

        #bullshit

        Like

  25. Laura

    Eric! I liked this post a lot, the same as all your posts. I hope that tornado has passed you safely by. The craziest weather we tend to get in England is the odd flood, unseasonably cold and rainy summers or very occasionally, a hurricane.

    This film seems vaguely familiar. I feel like it must have been on itv (cheap commercial channel here) late at night.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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