Isaacs Picture Conclusions

BLOOD RESERVOIR (2014) NOT THE BEST…..

BLOODRPOSTER

I think the Most Beloved reader out here will understand that this is the type of movie I usually like. Probably something no one else will, except for maybe Filmnerd or Foxden – but something I would enjoy. Some people are out in the woods and getting hunted down one by one, hot chicks get undressed, maybe there’s some lovin’ and loads of blood splashing across the screen. Well, aside from some people out in the woods getting hunted down and some hot chicks, this one doesn’t really deliver. I liked the story and the good looking ladies but this one is VERY low budget and it kind of shows. The audio was awful rough, the editing was awful tough, the cut-aways to the news reporter at the end were almost laughable and – even though they didn’t kill a dog – there was something about this that I did hate —-> I HAD TO WATCH IT IN SD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The horror!!!!!!! What are we, barbarians???????? THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!! I’m not going to rip this a new asshole – because I did enjoy it to some point, but I doubt anyone else will really care for it. Who knows – maybe you would! It’s very low budget and only 50 minutes long but it has some heart. And a babe in striped, knee high socks!!!BLOODR1

Also – after I watched this movie I went looking for pics of it and I couldn’t find any, so I had to make my own. Since the damned thing was in SD, some of them are a little blurry so I apologize in advance. Anyway, as to the lady in the pink socks, I actually really liked her character. She was a total ding dong and had to say lines like “I have to go pee, don’t look!” but she was fun. I don’t know if it’s the actress or her character but I rather liked her. Her sister character was awful good looking and went around without a bra for most of the movie: BLOODR2I also really liked this one actress who goes by Jessica Mazo and I’m not just saying that because we’re friends on Twitter. I honestly thought she was the best part of this thing – she’s awful good looking and had the best lines even though she didn’t have a lot of screen time in the 50 minute long movie. For being so tiny, she can sure carry a big backpack. She also calls someone a fucking douchebag, which was music to my ears. There’s nothing better than a chick calling some dude a fucking douchebag.BLOODR3

Curiously though, the biggest surprise to me was the inclusion of Felissa Rose in here. For whatever lack of money they had, they scored her……BLOODR4I don’t know much about her career but the last time we saw her she was murdering people and sporting a penis:BLOODRSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the plot? A group of folks head out into the woods – near a body of water – to hunt for buried treasure and then they get stalked and killed. Now….. here’s where the thing gets dicey. Why are the being killed? If you decide to watch this, there’s some strange flashbacks that go on that don’t make any sense. Apparently these flashbacks are the clue as to why one of the characters decided to hire these people to kill everyone, including herself.  But why? That doesn’t make any fucking sense.  And – while I would NEVER poke fun at someone’s physical traits – what the fuck was wrong with Rose’ knee?? Was that a prosthetic meant to reveal something or has something gone wrong down there? Anyway – this scene is the best thing about this movie:BLOODR5

You know, the more I think about it, the more I kind of like it, but it’s not a good movie. The audio was all fucked up and the editing was a mess AND IT WAS SD but, I don’t know, it was kind of fun even though there’s a scene where the character Duke is running through the woods and suddenly gets stabbed in the stomach. Like – you couldn’t see her standing there with a knife from forty feet away, you douche? Oh well – it is what it is and because of it – I have something VERY special to me coming out in this slot next Wednesday! Stay tuned, amigos!

60 comments

  1. The premise is great and exactly the type of movie I enjoy. Low budget… not as much. SD I can live with, doesn’t bother me whatsoever. But I don’t think I’ll ever watch this one simply because it seems so cheap. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha, Eric! So you think this is shit enough for me to like it?! Sounds interesting enough to give it a try and you know my taste well enough by now.

    Did you watch Crazy Bitches? The more I think about it, the more I think you might like it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      I actually do! Plus – it’s only 50 minutes long so you can’t get too irritated…. you won’t have enough time!

      Crazy Bitches??????? NO, but I just made a note!!!

      #crazybitches

      Liked by 1 person

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