What??? Two interviews in one year??? SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?? What’s going on around here?? Anyway – today I have a fun Q & A queued up with an actress I’ve been mingling with for years on WordPress and Twitter. She’s a total blast! Should we try and keep these interviews going? If you want to spend some time under a hot lamp in the corner of my basement, answering questions – just let me know! You can also email me firstname.lastname@example.org if you don’t feel like dropping a comment. If you want to, we’ll do one, just understand that I’m awful slow….
You can also check out some of the older sessions at the following links:
I’m not very clever when it comes to making up bios on people. I’d like to say that Jessica is a beautiful performer by day and a shape shifting crimefighter by night but that may or may not be the case, so I lifted the following from her site jessicamazo.com: As an actress, Jessica typically plays ingenues and girl next door types. She also often plays supernatural characters, as well as quirky. She has been praised for the vulnerability and intensity she brings to her roles, and has been compared to such actresses as Amy Adams and Alison Brie. She has appeared in several award-winning independent feature films (Broken Side of Time, Paradise East), and has performed off-Broadway (59E59 Theaters, Algonquin Theater), on television, in music videos, and several prominent web series.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…….. the other day Jessica had me over to her studio at the top of some tall building in New York. After I was *very thoroughly* patted down by her security detail, I sat down on a deluxe leather sofa while she drank Cosmopolitans and ate shrimp cocktail. And then I asked her these questions:
By now everyone has seen this hilarious Shia LaBeouf video. If you haven’t here’s a link. The question is – what would you do if YOU were attacked by Shia LaBeouf?? I’d kick him in the balls! Also – can you spell his last name correctly on the first try?? No!! I suck at spelling!
An undisclosed amount of time ago, I stayed up way too late past my bedtime drinking beer and Jagermeister and I smoked some grass. In the middle of my sleep, I reached for the pillow I put between my legs and I fell out of the bed and bruised my ribs. What do you think of that?? Are you okay? How high is your bed?
Picture this: the scene is melancholy, the bar is dark, Frank Sinatra plays on the analog jukebox. You’re sitting alone at the bar-top on a Saturday morning, drinking Brandy snifters and smoking cheap cigarettes. Even though there are dozens of other places to sit, some inconvenient asshole plops down right beside you. You turn your head to tell him to fuck off and you notice it’s Jesus Christ. What do you do?? Haha I don’t know!!
You get to work early and get on the elevator all by yourself, which is just the way you like it. As the door closes, you make a little cough and when your stomach contracts, you subsequently cough out of your backside. Suddenly, some dude sticks his briefcase in the closing door and three men crowd the cab. What do you do about the lingering smell? Your questions are hard!!
Do you ever regret getting those interlocking Gecko tattoos that cover your entire right leg??? Gotta love the 90s! I have no tattoos!!
Have you ever met anyone that’s been struck by lightning? No. I have – I worked with a guy – he was pretty fucked up. From being struck by lightning, or just in general?
I once read somewhere that “Truth is the first step to Purification.” Thoughts??? I agree!!!
Hypothetically speaking, let’s say you get locked in some relative’s room and can’t get out. All you have to play with is some man’s stinky, old shoe. Just the one. What do you do all day? Why would I play with the shoe in the first place?! I would just use the opportunity to take a nap!
Are you familiar with Parks and Recreation, the TV show? Yes! I love that show! I once saw Ron Swanson’s dong on an episode of Deadwood… when I put that on Twitter Ron Swanson himself replied to my Tweet and said: “You’re Welcome.” True story. What do you think about that?? That is amazing!!!
Speaking of stinky, old shoes, what are your thoughts on Bruce Dern??? He’s a great actor and I also really like Laura Dern!
OK – now that we’ve got everybody lubed up and interested, let’s talk about some of our work, OK? K!
On February 2 of 2012 I did a post about a shit movie I watched called Devils Racecourse. Later that day you gave the post a like and then followed my blog, becoming one of my very first followers ever. To this day I feel like we’re buds. Have you ever regretted this decision??? Haha no (do you regret that I use so many exclamation points?!!) I remember that… I like to read reviews of films AFTER I watch them. I stumbled onto your review of Devils Racecourse and found it so funny and totally spot-on that I just had to let you know!
Over the last three years I have been trying to get a hold of some of your movies but this has proven tricky. Many of my movies are on Amazon or you can google and find them. Why is it so tricky?! Haha I do watch you on your YouTube program Askholes. (You can follow them at @DontBEanASKHOLE) I think Askholes is pretty funny – would you like to shamelessly plug it?? Thank you!! Yes I’d love to shamelessly plug it! I started doing stand-up comedy in spring 2013 and I do it now sporadically, but I got lucky enough to be part of the cast with these extremely funny and regularly working comics. Our creator Mike Celona does a great job putting it all together!! You can watch the episodes here on our YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/DontBEanASKHOLE, and also please like us on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Askholes/246338962233019 We’re also on Funny or Die!
I have never seen this particular film but I have read a review of it and it wasn’t very flattering to the movie. Would you like to share any thoughts on the making of or the experience in general of being in a movie called “Antfarm Dickhole”? Ehh…do I have to haha? Seriously though I was treated well on set and paid well so I can’t complain. It’s one of those things where ideally as an actor you should “take control of your career” and only accept the best roles, but when you’re a struggling actor, you just want to work – you know? Believe it or not, working on that has opened up some doors for me. I’ve met a lot of cool horror people who are fans of the movie! For example, I met extreme horror author Tim Miller as a result of him appreciating my work in the movie and now we’re buds and I even got to pose for the cover of his new book “Hacked” (and my husband got to photograph it!) “Antfarm” is not for everybody of course. I think it’s pretty funny…it’s intentionally bad and absurd.
Since I’ve never seen it, I can’t speak to it but will we be seeing an “Antfarm Dickhole 2”? ha no
I was finally able to see you in action last week in “Blood Reservoir”. That wasn’t my favorite movie ever but I did think you were the best thing about it. Any thoughts in general on that thing?? Oh wow thanks – what a nice compliment! We shot for a week in Agawam, MA last summer and it was beautiful there. I really enjoyed working with the other actors. We all bonded. We had so much fun going to this random karaoke dive bar/dance club in the area called “Mingles” afterwards. How awesome is the name “Mingles?” haha
The scene in “Reservoir” where you catch Duke cheatin’ was pretty classic! Were those lines scripted or did you come up with the opportunity to called him “a fucking douchebag”??? haha the other actor did such a great job playing up his character’s “douchebagness” that he made it so easy for me to get upset with him and have that come out of my mouth. Those lines weren’t scripted.
Calling someone or even some THING a douchebag is one of my favorite things to do. I also like to call people cocksuckers – Deadwood is one of my favorite shows and I learned a lot from it. Any other favorite terms of endearment?? No! Douchebag is my absolute favorite!
One of the things I learned from “Reservoir” is that you appear to be a very tiny person. I’m 6’4” – do you think you could take me down if we got in the Octagon???? Haha no…not only am I an entire foot shorter than you, I’m also extremely weak. I’ve been doing a circuit training workout video to build up my strength. By the end of that 20 minute workout I’m dying!
What is this “Vixens of Virtue, Vixens of Vice” listed in your IMDB credits??? This totally sounds like something I need to investigate! Oh gosh that was a long time ago! I enjoyed working on it….you know I never saw it unfortunately so I’m not sure how it came out! I had a small role. It’s available on Amazon I think.
Lastly, I’d like to thank you for choosing Isaacs Picture Conclusions for your morning commute. Would you be willing to recommend our product to other interested consumers??? Yes!!! I’d love to! Also (shameless plug warning!), please check out my site martiniproductionsnyc.com and YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/user/MartiniProductionsNY) where I interview people (authors, filmmakers, and actors) and maybe one day soon I’ll interview you!
THANKS SO MUCH for doing this, Jessica! I had a total blast! YOU ROCK!!