There’s not much of a theme here today other than here are two movies that I absolutely hated…. let’s see what happens….
HIGH ART (1998)A Young and Leggy Radha Micthell gets her gay on and her clothes off in this art house movie about drugs and photography. Ally Sheedy is an angry lesbian who lives upstairs. Her bathtub is leaking so Mitchell goes up there without a bra but with a monkey wrench and fixes it. Along the way they fall in love and Sheedy’s dope-dealing ex-girlfriend ODs.This movie was totally stupid and not my thing but I did get to see most of Patricia Clarkson’s boobs. This movie can go overdose itself into the next lifetime. “This is a really good movie!!!” Said no one, ever.
IT (1990)Did this REALLY scare you as a kid?Seriously??
And that is your latest from the Half Ass Reviews division of THE IPC!! Have a GREAT week!
But WAIT!!!! That’s not it!!! Today we have a VERY SPECIAL Guest Half Ass Review from my good, dear friend Laura over at FILMNERDBLOG! Do you follow her?? You should. That site is one of my absolute favorites! Let’s see what she has for us today:
HALF ARSED REVIEW: OUIJA (2014)
This is a perfect example of the half-arsed, lazy, horror-by-numbers snorefests that seem to be so popular right now – I’m looking at you, The Conjuring. Much like that one, this is totally devoid of originality – and most unforgivably – it’s also completely scare-free. Ouija is what I like to call ‘horror-lite’. That is, a so-called horror film that’s actually about as frightening as having a lovely cuddle with a cute, fluffy little kitten who won’t stop purring*. Even the cheap jump scares these films rely so heavily on were so obviously sign-posted as to be visible from space.
*allergies and phobias not withstanding
If you’re still curious, you might feel like you’ve seen this before when I tell you that the plot, such as it is, centres on a group of friends who try to contact their recently deceased chum after her apparent suicide. Obviously when they use the Ouija board, it’s not their friend who responds but an evil spirit, who begins to pick them off one-by-one.
The total absence of any remotely frightening content, a weak script, naff CGI and the thinnest of plots make for a thankfully forgettable affair. One shining light can be found in the adorable Olivia Cooke, of Bates Motel fame, although even she can’t salvage this load of old crap. This film is just LAME.
Score: 3/10 because they didn’t even try
THANK YOU LAURA!!! You rock AND roll! Want to be a part of the Half Ass / Arse Review team? email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for details!