Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE DEAD POOL (1988) THREE .44 MAGNUMS

deadpool1I remember seeing this with my dad back in the theater before a lot of Most Beloveds who read this place were born, but I didn’t really remember much about it aside from a remote controlled car that was able to “drive” sixty miles an hour. That and some shit stealing “Welcome to the Jungle” that really didn’t seem to have any meaning for the story…. but I gave it a watch yesterday and I can’t say that I loved it. Lots of reliance on one liners in this one, a car explodes with Harry in it and he doesn’t get hurt and it didn’t help things that Guns N Roses was part of the cast (you can see them at the funeral of Johnny Squares and later on a boat misusing a harpoon). Also – Jim “The Bane of My Fucking Existence” Carrey shows up for about ten minutes. I wouldn’t say that this was necessarily a BAD movie, it just wasn’t great like the previous four. Oh well.deadpool2So someone is going around killing celebrities in the San Francisco area and they’re calling it “the dead pool” and, of course, Harry Callahan made the cut. As he tries to avoid goons from the local mafia guy he put away, as well as the press and Patricia Clarkson, a team is shooting a movie called Hotel Satan and all signs indicate that this is the guy behind the murders (ever seen him before?):deadpool3I think 1988 was the last time Neeson ever looked unwrinkled. Anyway, Eastwood is looking old but he’s still got guns (muscles) like the boss he is and he can out-jog any man much younger than himself. He can also growl a lot and pull out his Magnum and shoot people on the streets without a second thought.  It’s funny – where I live, any time a cop shoots someone they get put on administrative leave for a month while it’s investigated. In here, Callahan can just shoot anyone and get back to work. Crazy California hippies!!deadpool4Is he going to survive? Is he going to save Clarkson? Is he going to say “You’re shit out of luck” a dozen times? Is he going to kill someone with that harpoon Slash couldn’t figure out?? I think he and I are both in agreement that this one feels tired and it was probably time for Harry to go to bed.deadpool5As far as this movie goes, it was the first one without any nudity but one character did stick out for me, literally. Her name is Victoria Bastel who looks like she’s only done seven movies but I’ve seen three of them – so I recognized her. In this she plays Square’s squeeze and when she hears of his death she comes running over in her 80s blouse with her boobs flopping around all over the place. I tried to find a decent picture of her on the webz but couldn’t, but this DID turn up:deadpool6And, since I’m equal opportunity, so did this:deadpool7

That’s it for the Dirty Harry franchise! My friend Lem and I have our whiteboards out and our sticky notes ready to figure out what to do next! Have great weekends and Shitfest starts next week!! If you’re on the fence – don’t worry! This will be great and submit your entries ASAP!!!

46 comments

  1. Jay

    Matt and I were just discussing Clint Eastwood at work yesterday when suddenly our IT guy pipes up with “they need to make another Dirty Harry.”
    ?????
    Um, okay. Where did you come from?
    Then we went on to skewer American Sniper, which is apparently IT guy’s favourite movie (or, possibly just the only one he saw in 2014). Man. Bring back the other IT guy who was a little more hip! Also, how is it that we never seem to be working at work?
    Great review.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No more #squintsies !!! Yay! I’m missing the crappy horror movies. Also, I do like Liam Neeson but you’re right about the wrinkles! Haha!
    I need to get my Shitfest entry together, geezzzee… I want it to be epic and I’m really indecisive. I’ll get it sorted out.

    #satanicbesties
    #nomoresquinties
    #creepsiesforever

    Liked by 1 person

  3. abbiosbiston

    I am old enough to have seen in this in the cinema but since my parents were cheap and we only went to the movies about twicrtwice a year, I didn’t.

    Also my dad looks just like Dustin Hoffman and that image has scarred me for life.

    Liked by 1 person

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