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Love and Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story (1995)
I know not every film enthusiast is enthused by Woody Allen. It’s easy to see why: his work follows a similar formula and he gets his kicks from metropolitan lifestyles and May/December romances. And he can be mighty pretentious on numerous occasions. Did I mention the scandal regarding him and former flame Mia Farrow which resulted in child molestation accusations and Woody running off with Mia’s adopted daughter? Err…
If you frequent my blog, you can tell I like his movies and find his writing witty and clever. But I realize others think his work sucks and would rather spend their time watching Kangaroo Jack to which I say, “No problemo!” (Actually, that option might be a problem. Please seek help immediately.)
I’ll recap the scandal: Woody met Mia in the late 1970’s, fell in love, and collaborated on movies during the 1980’s. Careerwise, the couple reached a golden age in their work. Mia had 6 kids prior to their romance (3 biological sons, the other 3 adopted from Vietnam and Korea). Woody and Mia presumably had a child together named Satchel (who later became Ronan Farrow), and Woody signed papers to co-adopt Dylan and Moses, recent additions to the family. By the early ’90s, their relationship soured. Mia discovered Woody was secretly seeing one of her older daughters, Soon-Yi. Mia took him to court to gain full custody of Dylan, Moses, and Satchel and then accused Allen of molesting Dylan. In the end, he lost the custody battle and the two parted ways. Soon-Yi cut ties with the Farrow family too and married Woody a few years later. Whew.
Wouldn’t this make a crazy-ass TV movie? Well, you’re in luck! Someone wrote a book about it with a sharp bias for Mia which in turn became a 3 hour telefilm for FOX called “Love & Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story.” The 1995 movie is a biopic of Mia’s life with special attention to her courtship with the famous director. And no matter which side you take in the Woody/Mia debate, there are no winners here. They both emerge looking shitty and stupid!
The actress portraying Mia is Patsy Kensit, who isn’t very popular in the U.S. other than marrying one of the Gallagher brothers from the band Oasis. Curly-haired wigs and short hairdos barely help her look the part. Patsy takes her voice down to a whisper and switches between playing demure to just plain stiff under annoying, soft-core porn lighting. Whoever wrote the over-the-top script sends the character on a swirl of emotional display and it’s clear poor Patsy doesn’t know how to handle it. She’s left to express Mia’s feelings in an abrupt and unnatural fashion that one can’t possibly sympathize but only laugh. In some scenes, she’s soft and sweet and kindhearted. Then she yells into phones (she’s angry!); she rubs her forehead (she’s stressed, ya’ll!); she sends her ex a Valentine’s Day card with a knife (how pleasant!); and she sits naked in a bathtub, staring at the wall with a blank, suspicious look (I guess she regrets giving up the knife!). The flip-flopping of emotions is exhausting to watch.
Woody is played by character actor Dennis Boutsikaris, who does a surprisingly good impression of everyone’s favorite neurotic New Yorker. He spend most of the movie wringing his hands and pausing to clear his throat every other sentence. Sometimes his eyes bug out and he scares the children. When he drops a pun, nobody cares because it’s just that ineffective and devoid of humor. The makeup is accurate and the clothing is on point; the stupid hat and raincoat screams “yes, I’m half Land’s End model reject, half elf, and women can’t resist me!” One other famous face featured in “Love and Betrayal” is not so precise…
This is who they hired to play Frank Sinatra. No really. By the way, Frank’s part of the sordid tale because he was Mia’s first husband. She married him when she was 19 and he was 50. He’s one of my favorite artists of all time so seeing this cheap imitation is a sheer travesty. I’m not going to even mention the actor’s name because I’m sure he wants to forget this film ever happened. He has the unfortunate task of uttering the movie’s worst line. After making love to Mia, a nude Sinatra rubs Mia’s bare leg in bed and asks “so how did you like it…my way?” Noooooooooooooooo!!!
Who can forget Soon-Yi Previn? As portrayed by Grace Una, she has a certain afterschool-special quality about her. Is it the actress’ fault or the script? I blame the latter – Soon-Yi is presented as whiny, pouty, teary-eyed, and prone to giggles, especially while in the presence of the 50-something Woody. Girl’s got a secret! The filmmakers decide to show the two in bed together for our viewing pleasure. Yay, just what we needed to see – giggles and ear nibbles!
The story and reenactments are on the same lacking level as countless TV movies. The script tells Mia’s biography in random parts out of chronological order, so the execution is scatterbrained. Example: scenes of conversation between Woody and Mia lead to unlinked flashbacks like young Mia in parochial school expressing a desire to become a nun, and her rehabilitating after a battle with polio. So basically, talking to Woody Allen brings back memories of Catholicism and polio. Editor, we need to have a talk!
For a movie that’s supposed to show Mia in a positive light, Love & Betrayal doesn’t do a very good job. The scenes of her during the early years are a poor attempt to justify her issues and character. She wanted to help people, particularly children, so she adopted. But in the film, there’s a weird disconnection between her and the kids. The youngsters are mere props, either acting as housemaids or being looked after by a nanny. After her divorce from Sinatra, Mia’s friendship with a woman ended after she ran off with the woman’s husband. The situation is treated like it was simply Mia starting a new chapter of self-discovery whereas the woman left behind experiences a mental breakdown. You know, no biggie!
All this talk about Mia is bad, but I’m not letting Woody slide by! This guy is self-absorbed and dumb to the core. He ignores Mia’s kids except for Dylan, whom he creepily clings to, and with Soon-Yi he sees nothing inappropriate about his actions. “The heart wants what it wants,” he says followed by awkward, unfunny quips. The mama bear within Mia emerges; she tries to keep her family together and takes them to a church to be baptized. If I wrote Love & Betrayal, I would add a scene where God speaks to Mia and proclaims “don’t drag me into this, you’re on your own!”
So what can we take from this film, shitfesters? That Mia may be little woman lost but also a harborer of deep issues buried underneath her gentle, humanitarian front? And as for Woody, let’s just say he isn’t qualified to babysit nor take home the Father of the Year award. One thing’s for certain: your family drama and mine pales in comparison to this tawdry mess. This movie is a dramatic example of the famous phrase “hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.” This movie tries its best to take a stab at Woody Allen yet both parties end up in the loser corner. The crazy part is most of what you see in Love & Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story actually happened. The question is, do you wish to watch 3 hours of dysfunctional dreck? I guess I was better off watching Kangaroo Jack!
Before I close, here’s a second picture of “Frank:”
And another, because torture:
A superb entry, I don’t think I’ll ever watch this. Even though Patsy Kensit is gorgeous.
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Isn’t this fun?? You know, I once wrote her a letter but she never responded….. : (
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That’s too bad Eric.
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I know : (
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She is one gorgeous woman.
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Probably didn’t respond because your letter had the words “lick my wiener” in it, didn’t it?
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You know me so well!!!!! This was actually back in the days when people wrote letters so I included a photograph of my dingle dangle. I’m surprised she never got back to me….
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Lol, I love the idea of a young EI sitting at home on a Saturday night, pensively crafting letters to his favourite female stars. Snapping pics of his kibbles n bits on a polaroid to loving stuff inside the envelope… What a romantic you are!
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RIGHT?????????????????????
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Even though Pasty Kensit WAS gorgeous.
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I still say she’s pretty foxy.
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I’d still smooch on her…
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You’d have to get through the botox and fillers first 🙂
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Come on, she’s still pretty hot.
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Hmmmm MAYBE 🙂
She was married to Liam Gallagher remember!!!!!!!!
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Yeah, what a lucky bastard, hehe.
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She was the lucky one!! Ha ha 🙂
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Oh yeah, you had a thing for Gallagher.
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HAHAHAHA!!!!
Love Pen!!!!
P.S. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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Can’t wait to watch Dog Soldier with you and Laura soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤
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I CAN’T EVEN WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<33333333333333333333O _ o
#meguts
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Me neither!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333
O _ o o _ O
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#extras
< 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3
#bibs
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I googled her while preparing this review and I echo what all of you said – the lady is fine! I also found out she was in a band during the 80s.
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Thanks, Vinnie. And yes, it’s best to avoid this one (even though the lead actress is attractive).
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This is one strong entry, you should be very proud of it.
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Did you see my take on Magic Mike for Shitfest?
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Shitfest 2015: saving lives!
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I’ve been busy lately so I’m catching up on posts in between breaks. I bookmarked your Magic Mike post and will comment very soon 🙂
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Thanks, I gotta sign off for sleep but I’ll be sure to respond to your comment.
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“So…. how did you like it… my way?”
So many yesses! That is a great line. I need to use it sometime. Hahaha.
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You hoping to charm the ladies with that line Luke?
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It depends. Those dots might not be dramatic pauses, but stammers…
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It’s always worth a try.
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You should! When I get on an elevator with a lady I always say “going dooooooowwwwwwwnnnnnnn?” in the sexiest way possible.
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Eric you ladies man.
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You know it. Smooth and classy!
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Smooth and classy indeed. Just like my shimmering thongs, hehe.
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LOL!! Gross!
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I only speak the truth Eric.
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There is no sexy way to say that. Especially with that many Ns. N is the least sexy letter.
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A challenge!!! If I get together with Mister Pubes it’s on!!!!!! (We actually had some footage recorded with that saying but it got drunkenly deleted… ) #drunktrivia
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I kid you not, I had to replay the scene (and believe me, it pained me to do so) to make sure he actually said that. I’ll never hear Sinatra’s “My Way” the same way again. Good luck using that line without laughing or cringing.
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That was awesome! Go Frank!! lol I skipped this when it originally aired as I would definitely prefer to watch Kangaroo Jack over anything with Woody Allen – even a guy just pretending to be Woody Allen!
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What is this Kangaroo Jack you all speak of. Is it like Simple Jack?
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All I know is it stars a kangaroo and Jerry O’Connell and was a box office flop in the early 2000’s. But I still might watch it anyway because I have issues.
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JERRY O’CONNELL???!!!?!??!!?!?! Yuck….
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Christopher Walken is in the film too. 0_0
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“0_0” HAHAHA!!! Love it!
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By the way – I wanted to tell you that this post has been GREAT and THANK YOU for doing this!
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Thanks for letting me be a part of this! 🙂
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YOU KNOW IT!
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I might watch it too, cos its got Kangaroos 😀
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I never mind a kangaroo but Jerry O’Connell???? Puke.
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I don’t even know that name. I might recognise the face, but I’m horrible with names
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Thank you! Frank and Woody both seemed to have a contest to see who was the creepiest. Woody won but at least Frank was entertaining.
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Sounds delightful. Shitfest: the home of mid-90s television movies!
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Next up: the Fox Doctor Who movie!
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Tonight, a special showing of “We Adopted The Love Child of My Husband and the Babysitter.”
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Don’t forget Fox’s Downton Abbey movie with soft-core-porn lighting!
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HA!!!!! Nice!
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TV movies from the mid-90s are a gold mine (a heads-up to current and future shitfesters)!
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Great review! Looks completely shitty!
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Are you taking part Natasha?
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Yeah Vinnieh. Finally got a movie worthy of this. Pappy Eric should have my contribution soon!
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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That’s good to hear. Have you seen my Magic Mike entry?
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Wasn’t this fun, sweet Kidney Giuseppe???
Love
Sugar Pappy
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Thanks so much Natasha! Beware!
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Awesome review and perfect for Shitfest! I’m crossing this off my watch list. Oh wait. I never had it on my list. 🙂
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Ha!!!!!
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Eric! How did your meeting go?
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I just got back! It went well and one of my colleagues had called her and let her know how I got a very bad deal in this thing, so that made me very happy!! Thank you for asking me!!!!!
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That’s good news! I’ve been thinking about you al day. Email me if anything new pops up?
#loveeric
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Absolutely!! Now I need to eat some lunch!
#lovekim
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Unfortunately, the film was on my watch list. Whywhywhy? I guess everyone makes mistakes, haha. Thanks for the comment!
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That’s how we learn : ) : )
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Ha! We all have our weaknesses!
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Wow… not sure what is more fucked up the fact that this sordid story ever happened or this terrible film made about it.
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This more fucked up than a day in the life of The ipc!
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For real! Suddenly we all seem…normal. Thanks, Mia and Woody!
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Shitfest: reminding us that we’re normal since 2013 : )
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It’s a match made in hell, isn’t it?
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Huh? I thought Ronan Farrow was Frank Sinatra’s son. Ronan Farrow does look awfully like Sinatra.
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I’m glad someone brought this up because I left it out of my post! Ronan was regarded as Woody and Mia’s son for the longest time but it wasn’t until about two years when Mia said in a magazine that Ronan might “possibly” be the son of Frank, and that created a lot of gossip. DNA tests have never been used to confirm but I noticed at Frank’s funeral in 1998, Mia showed up with only one of her kids – Ronan. I agree with you, Ronan and Frank resemble each other so much! If Sinatra is the father, then that means Mia snuck around during her relationship with Woody, adding another wacky spin to Mia’s story!
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He definitely doesn’t look like Woody Allen ! ! By theway, Ronan Farrow has a genius IQ. He used to be a talk show host on MSNBC. Pity his show was cancelled… low ratings. He’s eye candy for a political talk show host.
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“so how did you like it…my way?”
HA! Classic! I’ll have to use that on my wife until she divorces me.
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That’s a good decision.
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That’s a line for the history books!
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The family drama in this movie pales in comparison to the family drama in Isaacs and Brian’s families once their wives learned they visited Brokeback Mountain once a month. “My Brian shore does love goin’ fishin’ up there at Brokeback Mountain.” “Funny, so does my Eric…but he never brings any fish home.”
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Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???????
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What a brilliant entry!!! Now this is what Shitfest is all about!!!! I had never even heard of this turd but I’m mighty glad I do now. Funny write up too 🙂
A very weird family setup. I have a huge soft spot for Mia Farrow but hmmmmmm….I’m still not sure about those accusations.
At least we now all have the best post-sex line EVER. Trust ole Blue Eyes!
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That is a great after sex line.
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What about “I just pooped.” ?
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I don’t think that’s the best post coital line, unless it’s something the other person is into.
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Speaking of poop, I need to make some lunch.
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OK brother, have a nice lunch.
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Let’s hope!
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Have Faith in food.
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Isn’t this fun???
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Thank you Emma! I like Mia Farrow too, she’s a great actress. I’m not sure if we’ll ever know the real truth behind the accusations. It’s just one weird mess! Just follow Ol’ Blue Eyes instead – he will guide us all into the path of sexiness!
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Good god, you actually watched a whole Patsy Kensit film? Wow, that is dedication!
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Yes, and a 3-hour Patsy Kensit film at that! I am a survivor.
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Good work, you. She’s the worst!
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I didn’t realize she was so infamous!
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Famous for being famous. And marrying musicians.
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“annoying, soft-core porn lighting”
Hahaha! That and the worst line by Sinatra cracked me up! I didn’t even know any of this!! God and people rag on Polanski!!
Let me get this right… he married his wife’s daughter, who wasn’t legally his daughter?
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You just reminded me…I saw Polanski briefly in this film (he knew Mia because of Rosemary’s Baby). The actor playing Polanski looked like him unlike Frank…
From what I read, Woody never signed papers to adopt Mia’s older kids, only the ones that joined the family during their relationship. Soon-Yi’s last name is Previn because Mia was with Andre Previn at the time.
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Wow, what a bizarre story! I kinda wanna watch this now to see that shitty line from Sinatra haha! I wanna see someone playing Polanski too! Is he in the film much?
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Bizarre sums it up! No, the Polanski appearance was brief.
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Jeremy Piven is Soon-Yi’s dad? Wait, Soon-Yi is Asian? I knew Ari Gold and Lloyd were doing more than just searching for new clients at that office late at night!
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I think Soon-Yi is your love child with the guy who played “Thunder” in Big Trouble in Little China.
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LOL Jeremy Piven.
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How do you mess up a biopic? It should be a pretty simple, straight forward film to make. It may not turn out great, but shouldn’t be laughable. Good write-up!
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Exactly! I think the filmmakers made it harder on themselves because they were trying to paint one side as being good and one side as bad. When the facts got in the way, both sides turned to crap.
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I can’t believe you sat through this. Great entry.
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GREAT entry!!
#shitfestforever
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3 hours….3 hours….I could have read a book! I could have baked a nice dessert! I could have watched 6 episodes of Saved By The Bell! (*sobs*)
But then I wouldn’t have participated in Shitfest, so it was worth it. 😉
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And we THANK YOU for it!!
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Great post and great choice! What a TERRIBLE movie. I’d forgotten it actually. “My way.” Ugh, that’s terrifying.
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Thank you, David. Yes, the experience was terrible. Save yourself!!!
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Ha, consider myself saved!
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Reblogged this on Coolsville and commented:
A hilarious competition known as Shitfest is happening right now at Isaac’s Picture Conclusions. Film bloggers flex their snarky muscles by sharing their reviews of really bad movies. It’s all good, crappy fun! This is my first time taking part in Shitfest and I wrote about the terrible TV film “Love & Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story.” It’s the story of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen’s wacky relationship. Watch out for Frank Sinatra!
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WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!! Thank you!!!!
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Thank YOU! 🙂
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: ))))))))))))))
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Hahaha! Nice review! This sounds sooooo BAD. 🙂
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You should give it a look and report back to us!
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I already watched a shitty movie for Shitfest! Why would I want to watch another?!?!? 😉
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Maybe you’ll love it!
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I will not!
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Have you ever tried Hot and Sour soup yet?
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Lol! Nice memory! No, I have not. But I actually haven’t had any Chinese food in ages! Name a favorite movie of mine!! Quick! 😉
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Aliens
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OMG! You got one! #goldstar 😉
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We just finished up Dog Soldiers over on Film nerd if you want to check it out : )
#standbyme
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Welllllll…. I like Laura so maybe I’ll check it out. 😉 #theprincessbride
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: )
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So bad, table9mutant. And icky. Don’t forget icky.
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Delightful review! I remember when this movie was first broadcast on FOX. Someone actually asked Woody Allen who should have played him, and he joked, “I hear that Tom Cruise is available.” And I actually felt sorry for Dennis Boutsikaris, the actor who played Woody. He had been very funny on Tom Arnold’s short-lived “The Jackie Thomas Show” and in a guest spot on “Murphy Brown.” I’ve only ever seen a couple of clips from this flick, and after reading your superb review, I now feel even less need to see the movie! (BTW, I was a major Woody fan in my teens and 20s, but the Soon-Yi scandal pretty much turned me off of him.)
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Hey there! Thanks for the info. I always wondered if Woody ever commented on this movie. I’m sure you’re not the only one who backed away from his work after the scandal. I can tell after his split from Mia, his work hasn’t been on the same scale since. I never saw The Jackie Thomas Show, but I remembered Roseanne referenced it a few times on her own sitcom. Publicity reasons, I suppose! I’m glad my review has inspired you to stay away. 🙂
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This sounds like something that would air on Lifetime if it came out today. Great review.
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Sounds pretty sucky if you ask me!
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Thank you, Khalid! This movie could easily be a member of the Lifetime family!
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I feel queasy about him. His movies are more miss than hit for me snd I feel too guilty about all this to enjoy them.
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What about #spankings
*runs off down the hall*
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Naughty, naughty! lol
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HAHAHA!!!!
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Understandable. Woody has his moments along with many questionable ones.
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The Mia Farrow Story?? Fucking hell, what drugs were they taking to knock this out?
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HAHAHAHA!!!
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How I wish there was a behind-the-scenes video of this movie. Was there laughter? Tears? Vomit?
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This is a great entry! I can’t get enough of TV movies so it’s nice to see one skewered here.
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I thought you’d like this one if you saw it come in!
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Whoo hoo! Glad you liked it.
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I love reading these entries. They’re so much fun. This is a great entry, Coolsville!
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Thanks for reading, Mel! 🙂
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Oh my god, this actually sounds like three hours of torture. I don’t know how you did it! Excellent job! 😀
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Anna???? Did you see Thursday’s post????
#socialies
#shitfesties
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Yeees! I did! I just need to convert the time. I think if it’s on for 12:30/1:30 then it would be about 6pm or 7pm my time. 7pm would work well! Wahoooo!
#shitfesties
#lookingforwardsies
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Thanks Anna! Yeah, that movie was way too long!
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WOW. Family drama up the wazoo, and pretty freaking disturbing is what. Great work Coolsville! I can’t believe someone made a movie, as if the situation wasn’t messed up enough as it was…
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Stupid Woody Allen! Just keep it in your pants horndog.
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You said it, Zoe! Oh, the drama!!!
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