SUBMITTED BY:
Tried this format to change things up. Had a feeling LEPRECHAUN would be a movie that would not be fun to watch without distracting myself, so I figured I’d comment as the movie progressed.
0:20 – First image of the Leprechaun ain’t so bad.
0:45 – Oh never mind. He looks like a poorly drawn Celtics logo. If they kept him in shadow we would all be better off.
1:20 – This theme is terrible. Sounds like a second grader trying to play Irish music on a recorder.
2:30 – I genuinely can’t tell if this lady is trying to do an Irish accent for real or just trying to pronounce names with one. Acting off to a great start.
4:05 – The production value in this movie is poor. I can tell they are going for horror/comedy based on the overacting and the musical score, but there’s nothing fun about this so far. Two old Irish people who are probably about to be butchered by Warwick Davis aren’t my bag, I suppose.
5:00 – I started this with the idea that this MIGHT be a Shiftest movie, but it would at least be a fun experiment and a change of format. But, nope, five minutes in and I KNOW this is a Shiftest movie.
7:55 – The Leprechaun gets shot and dies. In case we think this might be the end of the movie we get a poor post-production dubbed line of the thing saying it will “keep coming back”.
10:01 – I’m already all set with the annoying ghostly voiceover. It sucks.
11:25 – Oh. Right. Jennifer Aniston is in this. And she plays a character who mixes up New Mexico and North Dakota. I wonder what the odds were when she was making this movie that she would become a major star within a couple of years. 1,000,000 to 1?
13:35 – Jennifer Aniston reacting to walking into a cobweb is probably not on her demo reel. Nor is “Dad?! Do you see that spider?!? It’s huge!!! That thing could kill us!!”
15:55 – The dialogue in this movie is unrelentingly terrible. Any movie script which had the phrase “This is the 90s” in it should have been burned after reading.
21:05 – Sorry. I think i blacked out for five minutes there. The big dude is walking down the scary stairs and the Leprechaun is talking like a little kid again. I think the same thing is going to happen to this guy that happened to the last person who responded to the voice.
23:15 – The green ‘magic’ special effects are glorious. But, hey, the guy made it out of the basement. That is a surprise.
25:15 – I often decry the fact that television has changed the type of movies which are getting made, most notably the suspense films of the 90s like NICK OF TIME which would be turned into a TV episode now. But at least a movie with production values this low don’t get theatrical releases anymore.
27:06 – I hate to go after children, but the child actor wearing the 49ers hat is really bad. I blame the Director (Mark Jones) not him.
31:11 – The horny Warwick Davis Leprechaun stroking the leg of a young Jennifer Aniston is as creepy as I care to go. Somehow, when the stroking is blamed on a cat, that is less weird.
33:40 – Aaaaaand Warwick Davis on a tricycle is probably not the apex of Little People in entertainment.
35:40 – Really? We’re going to devote thirty seconds to a backstory and history of the Leprechaun’s gold? Can we get to the next embarrassing scene where Warwick Davis is exploited for his stature please?
37:50 – Pogo-stick death. This was clearly made after Freddy Krueger and Mike Myers and Jason had exhausted all of the other absurd death scenarios.
40:00 – Cop pulls over a Leprechaun in a miniature car and I am still waiting for the first time this movie is going to make me laugh.
40:45 – Can we at least get to see someone on screen for more than 37 seconds before they are killed off? I suppose this is part of the reason the genre was in crisis until SCREAM came around a few years later to save it.
41:20 – This is the most terribly directed POV shot (and Evil Dead rip off) ever – in a genre laced with them.
44:00 – Ugh. I’m only halfway through this movie. My wife is asleep on the couch next to me. I’m jealous.
44:30 – Hey. A moment of quiet and an effective ambient shot of the woods. It took 44 minutes, but that’s not a terrible moment.
44:50 – Oh well. Leprechaun is back. Never mind.
45:20 – Jennifer Aniston “I don’t kill living things.” I suppose this movie didn’t qualify as living.
46:10 – For a movie called LEPRECHAUN, this movie would be much better if it didn’t have a Leprechaun. I say this as he is eating Lucky Charms (or a generic rip off of it so as not to get sued). That’s clever. This movie feels like something my middle school students would come up with. Actually if I went into a theater class and said “You guys have 12 minutes to come up with a scene involving a Leprechaun, a tricycle, gold, and an angsty teenage girl” my students would probably come up with a far superior script.
48:58 – I’m actually impressed any of the characters not played by Jennifer Aniston or a child have made it this far into the movie. Especially the painter who reminds me of Lennie from Of Mice and Men:
51:04 – Oh man. There are still 40 minutes left in this movie. Sigh.
51:10 – Can the hunky dude in the cut off shirt (Ken Olandt) please wash that paint stain off his bicep? The continuity is killing me.
52:32 – After another ineffectual fight, this Leprechaun has to be one of the least intimidating and scary movie monsters of all time. If he was in the NCAA tournament of movie monsters he would definitely be a 16 seed. And that’s only if he managed to upset a few guys to get out of the NIT bracket.
54:14 – Hey, I have limited ammo and am fighting a supernatural creature. Let me just unload my bullets into this bush here that almost certainly doesn’t have anything in it.
55:17 – This just in! Jennifer Aniston is sporting some mean jean shirts in this movie:
56:42 – A horror movie in which the car doesn’t start? That’s an original idea. To change things up, at least we sent the child out of the car to check out the problem.
57:56 – And once again the Leprechaun attacks, mildly injures someone, and is then outsmarted by some of the dumbest characters in the annals of horror. But, really, he’s a scary villain!
59:39 – A crawling hand. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
1:01:02 – Ok, we’re on the back nine now. We can do this. Even if the Leprechaun using someone else’s voice is growing old. Holy crap… wait a second. Speaking of villains stealing voices… TERMINATOR 2 came out a year before this. And the special effect gap between these two movies is astronomical. How does LEPRECHAUN look so bad? Did people in 1993 feel like this was contemporary, or did they feel like it was a cheesy homage to terrible 80s horror?
1:03:26 – Jennifer Aniston goes outside by herself with a shotgun. At least we are in the post-Ripley age where the women can be heroes too! It’s just too bad that the movie spent so long setting her up as the girl who DOESN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NEW MEXICO AND NORTH DAKOTA!!!!!!
1:06:38 – I think the working title for this movie might have been LEPRECHAUN JUMPS OUT OF THINGS PEOPLE JUST OPENED.
1:07:34 – Leprechaun just pinched that guy’s junk. Pinched it. HE ISN’T SCARY! HE’S JUST THE WORST CREEP OF ALL TIME!!!
1:09:00 – I need to calm down. This movie is making me type in caps. If you start to see emoji pop up, please call the authorities and make sure they come clean up my exploded head.
1:10:01 – I wonder if I could get in LEPRECHAUN 2 tonight? What would happen if someone watched more than one LEPRECHAUN movie at a time? Has anyone done a study which tested a person’s intelligence before and after watching a LEPRECHAUN marathon? Can a movie series make us dumber?
1:10:42 – For a change, the Leprechaun jumped out of something they were about to open rather than something that they did open. That’s creativity.
1:11:20 – That hand coming out of a phone bit was better when it was a tongue in a Freddy movie….. That’s a sentence nobody in history has probably ever typed.
1:12:38 – They are still trying to get out of this house? I guess they had limited locations for this movie. Which is fitting because the budget looks to have been somewhere in the $14-$19 range.
1:13:32 – Just looked it up. Budget was $900,000. I’m not sure what they did with the other $899,986.
1:14:12 – I hope the actors got a lot of take out. I hope everyone was well fed at least. Maybe they had nice hotel rooms to stay in. Maybe Warwick Davis signed some bright green Reeboks. None of it got on screen, is what I’m saying, so I hope someone at least had a good experience.
1:15:00 – Oh, never mind. This probably cost another $29 dollars at Home Depot:
1:18:25 – Jump scare! (Though, in fairness, it didn’t make me jump. Nor was it scary).
1:19:14 – Please. Please. Please. JUST LET THIS END!
1:20:00 – As we wind down here, I have to say that writing like this at least made these 90 minutes tolerable. I don’t know if I could have made it through this without having something to distract me. As I say this, the Leprechaun is delivering “Little girls shouldn’t look for four leaf clovers” but he’s saying it like it means something else. I just don’t know what.
1:21:32 – Leprechaun steals an eye from a dead guy. Goriest moment in the movie. Wasted on a guy who is already dead.
1:22:40 – While this movie slows to a crawl for all of these characters to get on their hands and knees searching for a four-leaf clover, let me take the time to point out that it is usually in the best interest in a horror-comedy to be either scary or funny, though ideally you’d shoot for both. This movie can’t even get into so-bad-it’s-good status. There are very few redeeming qualities here.
1:24:46 – We all know you aren’t going to kill off the kid. So stop wasting your time with this.
1:25:00 – Hey! Thanks for listening!
1:25:35 – Assault by belt buckle. Death by slingshot. This is the most tame R rated movie ever.
1:28:00 – Man, I was hoping that more time would be devoted to the end credits. Can we just get there please?!?!?!
1:28:21 – We made it! Thank you! Goodnight!
I love this review! Excellent addition to Shitfest.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Appreciate it!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Isn’t this awesome??? I just love that last pic. I need to find a very large version of it and make a new header!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That pic speaks to the amazingly high quality of this movie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That would be good Eric.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m looking forward to your Dog Soldiers commentary.
LikeLiked by 2 people
45 minutes!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the heads up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great review of an incredibly shit movie. I’m still wondering whether on not someone will do The Room. lol
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks! I feel like the Room should have its own Shitfest.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ve never heard of The Room – is it awful?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is widely considered the worst movie of the 21st century. People get together to hate-watch it. Sort of the opposite of Rocky Horror Picture Show.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This?
Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancĆ©e, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored of him and decides to seduce Johnny’s best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again.
LikeLike
Yep. That’s it. “You’re tearing me apart Lisa!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting….
LikeLike
Here is a sample. The long haired dude wrote, directed, and ‘acted’ in it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is beyond awful, its frightfully bad and the worst thing is that it tries to take itself seriously. I’d love to see you take on it, though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll have to look into the matter….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I might watch The Room soon. I know there’s another famous line besides “you’re tearing me apart, lisa” which is “oh hi Mark!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I’ll have to look into it : )
LikeLike
I don’t think anything can be worse than this movie I’m watching….
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2149137/?ref_=rvi_tt
LikeLiked by 1 person
This looks pretty terrible. Not something you can easily find at the video store. Wait…Eric Roberts is in this? How strapped for cash is he?
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s in Human Centipede 3 too….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here I thought Nicholas Cage was the only one who agreed to star in a movie without looking at the script
LikeLiked by 1 person
And Sam Jackson!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Him too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“A crawling hand. Yaaaaaaaaaaawn.” Actually laughed out loud on that one. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I suffered for others’ enjoyment.
LikeLiked by 2 people
And we are all owe you a debt of gratitude.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are a true Shitfest martyr – from the beginning! I bow to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohhh! Why would you subject yourself to such torture …
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do it all for The IPC. I live to serve our master.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I bow to you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
For your fealty, I have saved a seat for you to my right at The Porridge Table.
LikeLike
Great! Cause my fealty ain’t free!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Porridge forever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As always… Thanks for having me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank YOU, my friend!! This is fantastic!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“HEāS JUST THE WORST CREEP OF ALL TIME!!!” Hahaha!! That one had me laughing. Great post, looks like an awful movie!!
LikeLiked by 4 people
LOL –
Hey – lost in my memory or lost in the comments from your post – do you play any musical instruments? This is regarding MI: 3.
LikeLike
hahaha yes!! *knocks on your head
I’m a drummer! š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent! Next question – do you have a singer?
LikeLike
Yes and no… we’ll go with vocalist
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok – well this is my idea: I’d like to write some lyrics for a song dedicated to PSH for your blogathon – it’s up to you and your vocalist if you want to do a rendering – what do you think?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds awesome! We can make it like a minute long punk song! Depending on how many lyrics you’ve written…
If it makes our first EP you’ll get credits as co-writer š š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fucking sweet! I’ll work on it today!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome š
LikeLiked by 1 person
TCB
LikeLike
And Jennifer Aniston? Hahahaha!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder if her friends bring up this movie just to screw with her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I sure wouldn’t kick her out of the sack.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jean shorts, a.k.a. “Jorts” are optimal attire for fighting leprechuns. The higher you cut them off, the more flexible you will be!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hadn’t considered the scientific viewpoint. Perhaps this is actually the most well researched horror movie about Leprechauns of all time!
LikeLiked by 2 people
lol, or at the very least, the most fashionable?
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What about for dudes. I can just see some dude in some jorts, kicking his feet up on a table and his ball pops out. My old director at work wore short shorts like that, put his feet on his desk and I swear one of his nuts was going to drop out of them at any time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is it that common for men to go commando? Don’t you guys wear underwear?
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHAHA!!! I guess it will depend on what type of drawers the male prefers. I’m a “boxer brief” kind of guy but if you mix some tiny shorts with some straight up boxers you might have a testicle sighting…..
LikeLike
I am sure one of the sequels addresses this scenario.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you’re wearing jorts, then it’s time to bust out those bikini bottoms, I guess!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds advice from up north!!
LikeLike
I was queuing up for a rollercoaster once and we were standing on steps waiting. The guy in front of me had one leg bent slightly, he had one foot on the lower step and one foot on the higher step. In the right angle of his shorts and groin area…..one of his old testicles was hanging down his leg…in full view.
That is a true story. And do you know what else? I think he knew! And I think he got a kick out of it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
#oldballs
Love Pen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Did that show come free with the amusement park admission at least?
LikeLiked by 2 people
God damn right it did! We ain’t paying for a ball show.
Nice Shitfest entry btw š
LikeLiked by 2 people
Link – you should try that the next time you’re at a water park…
LikeLike
That story she just told was actually about me, so….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wait, Emma met Brian?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like it!
LikeLike
Having only seen ‘Leprechaun in da hood’, I have no desire to see this film. Even less so after your shitfest review.
Good entry.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Da Hood is no place for messing with a Leprechaun.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Regarding Anniston in this one – I think we’d all be robbin’ da cradle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sensing a theme here. Are you a closet Jennifer Aniston fan?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me? I’ve always liked her – she’s a hot act. Now… I haven’t seen many of her movies though…
LikeLike
I don’t think you are missing much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good job. Aniston looked pretty hot in this one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can’t go wrong with her…..
#truth
LikeLiked by 2 people
#TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen brother!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hallelujah!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Preach!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I LOVE the way you brokedown this movie! I’m only sorry you had to suffer through it. š¦
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wasn’t this GREAT?????
#happywednesday
#lovekim
LikeLiked by 2 people
This was awesome! I almost felt as though I was watching the movie!
#humpday
#loveeric
LikeLiked by 1 person
#shitfestforever
#exclamationpoints
#lovekim
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woot!
#hugsforeric
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! I do it for the love of The IPC.
LikeLiked by 2 people
He suffers for his art š
LikeLiked by 3 people
i can believe you sat thru this shit (even with JA in it)
Tnx for taking one for the rest of us!
Seems like it was more fun for you to write this than watch it at least š
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is too true. Made the time go by!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s the way to do it….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Warwick Davis is in bloody everything at the moment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
#butts
3 and 1/2 hours!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now it’s three!!!!!!!! #seanpertwee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
#yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
#seanpertwee
O _ o o _ O
LikeLike
“This is the 90s.” – Yup, this film is dated! I chuckled at the Leprechaun on the tricycle. Such fear! I like your post’s layout. Thanks for watching this so I don’t have to.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I haven’t done this sort of time line before. It helps make a bad movie go by.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha! Nice post! BUT…. What is this doing in Shitfest?! This movie rules!!! š
LikeLiked by 1 person
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you sure about this???
#plonker
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. There have been some good films in Shitfest, dammit! I wish someone would do Interstellar for Shitfest….. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Someone might have…….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Have they? HAVE THEY?!?!?!?!?!? I hope so!!!!!! š
LikeLike
I declare your opinion on the matter invalid!
That is how subjectivity works, right?
LikeLiked by 2 people
But…. I’m always right!!!! š
LikeLiked by 2 people
HUH????????????
#tosser
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m thinking that Terminator2 may have had a slightly bigger budget than Leprechaun. Next, you need to watch Leprechaun in the Hood! lol.
As far as the movie, like another classic Jennifer Aniston film where a character says, “Um, I’m gonna have to kind of like disagree” is my take regarding your assessment of this film; this film does classify as “So bad it’s good!” I think. It definitely has some humorous moments…
I am surprised more readers in the IPC community have never seen this. I thought Isaacs told me he and Brian cuddled to this one a while back.
John, one positive for this movie, though, is the prosthetics for the Leprechaun look pretty good; he does look pretty creepy. I think prosthetics work so much better for characters than CGI effects. i.e. the 2002 Spider Man where they made the Green Goblin CGI instead of putting William DaFoe in prosthetics; how awesome would Goblin have been w/ Dafoe under the makeup? Could have been an all-time great villain, but they lazily went w/ CGI. It makes me actually appreciate this Leprechaun make-up.
Good write-up! š
LikeLike
Thanks! I agree re: prosthetics, for sure. And I was being more than a little unfair as it pertains to budget.
But this movie just did not make me laugh. I sure WANTED to laugh, I love a good horror comedy. But this one never did anything but make me feel like I was wasting my time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This genuinely made me laugh out loud. Excellent review!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Give it up to Link!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! I had fun writing it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“52:32 ā After another ineffectual fight, this Leprechaun has to be one of the least intimidating and scary movie monsters of all time. If he was in the NCAA tournament of movie monsters he would definitely be a 16 seed. And thatās only if he managed to upset a few guys to get out of the NIT bracket.” awesomeness! well done!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m trying to think of who the other low seeds would be. The high seeds are easy. But low seeds are tougher. I think they would have to be theatrical releases, since there is plenty of low grade stuff that would have to be relegated to the NIT.
I think the 16 seeds would be the Leprechaun, Dr. Giggles, Uwe Boll as the murderer of every movie he touches, and the Trees in The Happening.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Tile Doctor strikes!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nothing shit about this modern classic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT???????
LikeLike
I think I need to find out what the definition of classic is, then š
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is such a great idea!! Love it!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
#satanicbestiesforever
LikeLiked by 1 person
#andever
LikeLiked by 1 person
#alwaysalwaysalways
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome!! The things we do for Shitfest, right? š
LikeLiked by 1 person
and I LOVE you for them!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
But then I think about how you do it all the time for us here š
LikeLiked by 1 person
I live to serve!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are masochists all.
LikeLiked by 2 people
S & M forever
LikeLike
One of my favorite reviews for shitfest. Cracked me up. Bravo
LikeLiked by 1 person
You taking your shit early??
LikeLike
Hey! Thanks!
LikeLike
LOL! This looks awful! I have never seen it, and I really don’t plan to! Great work.
LikeLiked by 1 person