Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2015 ~ SUMMER: WRESTLERS vs ZOMBIES (2015)

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Wrestlers Vs Zombies (2015)

Movie Reviews 101 would like to bring you this complete and utter piece of shit to this years Shitfest please don’t enjoy the film or ever watch it, here is why.

Wrestlers versus Zombies seems like a brilliant idea for a film because we can get a group a famous wrestlers just kick zombies fucking asses. I mean you look at this cast

  • Rowdy Roddy Piper who was stunning in They Live! Remember ‘I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass.. and I’m all out of bubblegum’
  • Matt Hardy one of the most famous crazy wrestler who will throw himself off everything.
  • Shane ‘Franchise’ Douglas who was a big part of the original EC Fucking W.
  • Kurt Angle, yeah the Olympic Gold Medallist considered one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, who has had appearance in films with his small part in ‘Warrior’ being the highlight.
  • Hacksaw Jim Duggan the first every Royal Rumble winner who is known for being over the top.

We have the cast, we add in zombies, and we have seen zombies take on everything from Strippers to Vampires, Cockneys to Abraham Lincoln and while they all have their ups and downs they have something bearable about them all.

I actually put on Twitter that I was going to be watching this and the director replied with this.

tweet

BUT WHAT WENT WRONG?

We get the wrestlers locked up in a prison after just one of them kills another wrestler in a match. We get Kurt Angle enter the film for 30 SECONDS BEFORE THEY KILL HIM, THEY KILLED KURT FUCKING ANGLE WITHIN A MINUTE OF BRINGING HIM IN. Shane Douglas gives one of the worst acting performances I have ever seen and makes me think ADAM SANDLER could have won a OSCAR for JACK & JILL. We jump around the scenes as we watch one of the characters make a miraculous escape from the situations only for the next cut them being ripped in half.

We all know a good zombie film ALWAYS tries to give us a unique kill of some sort, we have seen plenty over the years, I don’t think they even kill a single zombie in this film. Well if there is any it is just snappy their necks, yeah that is really all they give us. Every single human death just seems to end up being a bundle by the extras I mean zombies.

There isn’t a single good character in this film, they are all assholes to each other I guess that is like what we see in the world of wrestling. These guys are known for their finishing moves in the ring and they didn’t even do any FUCKING WRESTLING MOVES, I mean come on we only watched this move to see zombies killed with wrestling moves.

When you see the zombie make up it looks like something you would have picked up at a school fate and if the extras I mean zombie shit I done it again, had sneezed it would have fallen off. This is also meant to be a comedy and last time I checked comedy is meant to make you laugh right? Well this failed at that too. This can’t even be put in a league of so bad it is good because if I did that Birdemic Shock and Terror could be classed as a classic.

This could easily be called ‘Wrestlers Run Like Little Fucking Bitches From People With Really Bad Make Up On‘ and that is the honest title of this film it also sounds slightly more interesting.

bad make up

The best way to describe just how bad this movie is would be to say I actually want to see Scary Movie 5 again now and I gave that 1%. This has officially become the worst film I have ever and I mean ever seen.

70 comments

  1. GaryGreg828

    This looks far worse than Scary Movie 5. I did laugh at SM5 in parts. I think the actor who portrayed Vincent Cassell in Black Swan was excellent. And the part where Ashley Tisdale tells the kids to “Run!!” from the ghost and they turn and start running towards the edge of the cliff. LOL. I actually cracked up at that…

    But…at any rate…

    This film looks horrid and makes an excellent SF write-up. Sounds like a lost opportunity for something that could have been entertaining and silly in a good way…

    Finally, an entry I don’t have to defend! lol. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      • GaryGreg828

        I believe it. I still can’t believe I have defended 3 entries, thus far. So far, I am liking the Birdman entry the most; probably b/c I suffered thru it, so I can appreciate it.

        At any rate…I just sent you an email…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is brilliant!!!! The POST not the film I hasten to add. Was really anticipating this entry as I knew there was a quote from the director! (how awesome?!)

    It’s a shame really as I agree the premise sounds great. I mean, it could have been so much fun but what a complete SWIZZ killing off Kurt Angle (Kurt FUCKING Angle!) and putting them in jail. Bollocks!

    (The HC3 was like that too, it could have actually been funny and stuff but they ruined it by making it SHIT. Why do they do that?)

    I love your final line too, the 1% you gave Scary Movie 5! Ha ha ha ha ha.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Haha. I kinda want to see this. Just to experience the awfulness. B Movie Wednesday? Also, if one of the wrestlers killed someone, why did they all get sent to the prison? Is the judge racist to wrestlers or something?

    Liked by 1 person

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