Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2015 ~SUMMER: HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2 (2015)

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Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015) [Shitfest Review]

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Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is the sequel that nobody asked for. A sequel that I didn’t think I would even see the light of day after the absolute pile of wank that Hot Tub Time Machine 1 was. It takes our 3 best buds (Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke) minus the only reason to really watch the first one (John Cusack) and sends them into the future to solve a murder mystery. It can’t be that bad – can it? After all, the first film was surprisingly successful; who would have thought that so many people would be into crude homophobic, sexist humour riddled with bouts of vomit, piss and shit jokes. Oh jokes… I get jokes…

I would get them, if there were any to get. It was quite simply one of the most excruciatingly unfunny movie experiences I have ever had.

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Maybe the second one will take the criticism on board, and turn it around – Nope. Within the first few seconds there’s already a nipple joke. I’m not sure what sort of audience this is meant for, people who will lose their shit at the mere thought of a nipple on the screen. A male nipple at that. HAHAHA. It becomes blatantly obvious that this turgid monstrosity picks up where it left off, with more of the same utter nonsense and unfunny tripe, only further emphasised by the ‘hilarious’ penis joke, as a ‘dick and balls’ are pushed up against a window only 8 minutes into the film. Start as you mean to go on, by all means.

I did question at this point why I would continue watching this film. Based on what I had seen so far, if I were to watch for the full 90 minutes, and this film to continue on its trajectory of sidesplittingly funny male nudity, I will end up seeing 11 and a quarter dick and ball combinations and 22 nipples. With those hypothetical figures in my mind, I plodded on regardless, in the hope that perhaps they would expand their horizon of humour beyond that of our amusing human bodies, and actually write a joke or two into the script.

While it did not pan out as predicted, what ensued was a plethora of vomit, blood, penis, jizz and rape jokes on repeat, every 15 minutes. These were interjected among a series of lazy ‘you look like *insert derogatory description*’ comparisons that even they grew tired of, jokes ripped from the first movie, and a few of those scenes which seem commonplace in most ‘bro’ movies these days, in which a non-drug user attempts to create on-screen to a general audience what it would be like to take drugs.

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2 - 2015 FILM STILL - Adam Scott is Adam Jr. - Photo Credit: Paramount Pictures/MGM © 2015 Paramount Pictures Corporation and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Its complete lack of any originality didn’t stop there. Due to the apparent absence of any intelligence in this movie, ripping off theories from other time travel movies like Terminator and Looper seem to form the underlying time-travel laws as they can’t think of any of their own. They reference these movies openly as if it were funny to be ripping them off, but instead it comes across as lazy and unimaginative. I get it, that was the joke, but jokes are meant to be funny. And this is not.

Once in the future our 3 pals meet up with Adam Scott; the guy from Parks & Recreation, who since the show ended has done some of the worst movies released in the last decade. The future holds a better life for some, and worse for others, and in a sea of holograms, and smart-smart cars, the present day was ripe for parody. After one of their crazy parties, they fall upon a futuristic TV show. To hope for something as creative as the Black Mirror episode where it took X-Factor to task is wasted effort. Instead a celebrity ultimatum game show results in ‘virtual dudefucking’, something seen as such an abhorrent act that it’s deemed to be on a par if not worse than buildings being destroyed with kids in it, rape and children drowning. Cap that off with the comparison of the iPad to a ‘dickpad’ (a holographic pad with a hole in the middle), it is clear to see that their effort in joke-telling has fallen lower than my enthusiasm to keep watching this piece of crap. Even Adam Scott can’t save this film from the smelly depths of vulgarity that this film resides.

Words can’t quite describe just how unfunny this film is. As Adam Scott has his ball sack syringed and a jizzy milk substance squirts into Darryl from The Office’s eyes and mouth, I begin to contemplate what I will watch next to restore my faith in comedy. Will Ferrell has that Get Hard movie out, but I can only assume that will be an unfunny ‘comedy’ based on racial stereotypes. Ted 2 is out in the cinemas too, and if Ted was anything to go by I look forward to hearing Family Guy jokes regurgitated into a different format to generate more cash. Maybe all is lost for comedy in the movies. Alpha Papa and/or The Trip were probably the last films that made me laugh in the cinema, but I can’t expect Steve Coogan to be in every movie I want to see. Even he has done some diabolical shit in his time.

As Hot Tub Time Machine 2 came to an end, I reflected on the 90 minutes of my life I would never get back. Terrible script, wasted cast, awful concept. I wish I had a Hot Tub Time Machine, so I could go back in time and stop myself from watching this mess of a film.

I should have shortened this review, to simply a 4 word review; “Hot Tub Shit Machine”.

92 comments

  2. Smash

    I haven’t seen this yet, but I’m curious about something. How did they explain the lack of Cusack and addition of Scott? Did they kill him off and Scott was his brother? I need to know!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. The Vern

    I hated the first Hot Tub Time Machine and something tells me I would hate this even more. Some of the jokes your distibing sound like they come from Movie 43. Like they took a rejected story from that movie and just turned it into it’s own feature. great review

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    • movieblort

      I watched it out of morbid curiosity, to see if they could make something worse than the first, and they did. Sometimes you need to analyse shit to see what’s wrong, and in this instance, there were so many things wrong. If I were a doctor and this was someones shit, I would tell them they were going to die.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • GaryGreg828

        Blort, You said you wanted to restore your faith in comedy; I just posted a video of “Children’s Hospital” on this board a few comments down; it’s only 11 minutes. give it a watch and will hopefully help you heal from this clunker.

        *Also, if I could offer a comedy recommendation, try “Film Geek”. It’s available on netflix and amazon prime. It’s ultra low-budget, but so much funnier and more clever than the likes of big studio comedies like this and Get Hard, which looks equally as terrible as this mess.

        Liked by 2 people

      • movieblort

        I will check it out in due course, thanks for the tip my friend! Currently working my way through some films for the Fantasia Film Festival at the moment so pretty flat out!

        It’s on the list now though!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. GaryGreg828

    I skipped the first one b/c I just thought it’d be too dumb, but I could see how some may be curious to watch strictly for John Cusack. So, when you see Cusack doesn’t want anything to do with the sequel, you know it’s going to be really bad.

    I actually think Rob Corddry is funny, especially when given material to work with. “Children’s Hospital” is hilarious!

    I liked Craig Robinson on “The Office” as the disgruntled warehouse worker who had to endure Michael Scott’s craziness. But when Carrell left the series and then they promoted Darryl to work in the office and he was forced on the audience as a main character he was no longer interesting, and in a large dose he just isn’t funny. There’s actually an illusion that he’s funny and what I mean is he is constantly in supporting roles where he is surrounded by funnier people; they get laughs and then Craig tails in on their jokes and then the audience feels like “he’s funny!” when in actuality he really isn’t. At all. He doesn’t create humorous moments; someone else does – and then he jumps on board and tags along. When he attempts to make jokes on his own, it’s always cliche and recycled drug, sex or racial jokes that feel forced and dated.

    In case anyone doesn’t believe me, he has a new sitcom coming out on NBC next month; watch how it bombs. It’s going to be terrible when he doesn’t have Steve Carrell or anyone else to hide behind and it’s just him and his terrible jokes.

    And that Duke kid, whatever his name is that was tacked-on at the end of “The Office” and “Two and a half men” is just not funny and has 0 charisma. He sucks. Even in a supporting role, surrounded by talent.

    Well, glad that shitfest is finally getting films for me to blast again! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • theipc

      I agree with everything you said (except for the part about Corrddy) (or however you spell his name.

      And yes – that Robinson show is going to BOMB!

      Like

      Reply
      • GaryGreg828

        Corddry was pretty funny on “The Heartbreak Kid” with Ben Stiller. And as the clown doctor on “Children’s Hospital”. You haven’t seen that show, have you? They’re short stores – like two stories on one 30 minute episode.

        Here is one of the stories; it’s only 11 minutes long; there’s a lot of comedy actors in this. Peele (from Key & Peele), Nick Offerman, Henry Winkler, Megan Mullally, Malin Ackerman, Erinn Hayes, Ken Marino, Rob Huebel…

        I think you’ll like it. Check it out:

        Liked by 2 people

      • GaryGreg828

        LMK what you think when you watch it. And if for some reason, the video post is lagging down the comment board or anything, feel free to take it down; hopefully it won’t be in the way. I should have probably posted it on my MISC. board instead of here.

        Liked by 1 person

      • GaryGreg828

        Yeah, it’s one of the funniest currently running shows…

        Did you watch the one I sent?

        I liked it when Nick Offerman was tracking down the kid…”Is the kid about yay-high?” and the doctor goes “Yep, that’s the one.” lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • theipc

        I did – it was funny, I watched a third before I left where Ed Begley wanted to abort his sixteen year old son who convinces him he’s pregnant so he changes his mind. I lol’d in that one. Definitely something to watch more of.

        Like

      • GaryGreg828

        I just looked it up and watched. LOL. There are really no boundaries or limits to the content on this show. It’s pretty much anything goes. It’s so much funnier than most other big-budget sitcoms and movies.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Laura

    What a great way to make something good out of something terrible. Like donating your organs after you’ve died. I will definitely be avoiding this one, it sounds simply horrible. Shame because the guy from Parks Rec is kind of cute in a weedy way.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Carly

    This was insufferable to watch. It currently sits at #1 on my worst of 2015, though once my shitfest contribution gets published you’ll see just how tenuous HTTM2’s grip on that dubious honor is. 😝

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • movieblort

      Hot Tub Shit Machine = A film about a shit hot tub
      Hot Shit Time Machine = A film about a turd that you microwave and it sends you back in time
      Shit Tub Time Machine = A film about a tub of shit that sends you back in time
      Hot Tub Time Shit = A film about someone taking their time having a dump in a hot tub
      Shitty Shit Shit Machine = Being made to watch both Hot Tub Time Machines back to back.

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply
  15. Jordan Dodd

    Great review man! Some great lines here…. I loved ” kicking Buddha in the nuts” and the phrase ‘children-drowning’. HAHAHA!!!

    This also really astutely sums up why I just don’t enjoy any US comedy. They all seem to be the same.

    If you’re interested, one of the best comedies I have seen in recent memory came from New Zealand, called ‘What We Do In The Shadows’. I highly recommend it if you want a movie that’ll make you laugh! Not many movies can make me laugh but that one cracked me the fuck up.

    Again, great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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