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Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015) [Shitfest Review]
Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is the sequel that nobody asked for. A sequel that I didn’t think I would even see the light of day after the absolute pile of wank that Hot Tub Time Machine 1 was. It takes our 3 best buds (Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke) minus the only reason to really watch the first one (John Cusack) and sends them into the future to solve a murder mystery. It can’t be that bad – can it? After all, the first film was surprisingly successful; who would have thought that so many people would be into crude homophobic, sexist humour riddled with bouts of vomit, piss and shit jokes. Oh jokes… I get jokes…
I would get them, if there were any to get. It was quite simply one of the most excruciatingly unfunny movie experiences I have ever had.
Maybe the second one will take the criticism on board, and turn it around – Nope. Within the first few seconds there’s already a nipple joke. I’m not sure what sort of audience this is meant for, people who will lose their shit at the mere thought of a nipple on the screen. A male nipple at that. HAHAHA. It becomes blatantly obvious that this turgid monstrosity picks up where it left off, with more of the same utter nonsense and unfunny tripe, only further emphasised by the ‘hilarious’ penis joke, as a ‘dick and balls’ are pushed up against a window only 8 minutes into the film. Start as you mean to go on, by all means.
I did question at this point why I would continue watching this film. Based on what I had seen so far, if I were to watch for the full 90 minutes, and this film to continue on its trajectory of sidesplittingly funny male nudity, I will end up seeing 11 and a quarter dick and ball combinations and 22 nipples. With those hypothetical figures in my mind, I plodded on regardless, in the hope that perhaps they would expand their horizon of humour beyond that of our amusing human bodies, and actually write a joke or two into the script.
While it did not pan out as predicted, what ensued was a plethora of vomit, blood, penis, jizz and rape jokes on repeat, every 15 minutes. These were interjected among a series of lazy ‘you look like *insert derogatory description*’ comparisons that even they grew tired of, jokes ripped from the first movie, and a few of those scenes which seem commonplace in most ‘bro’ movies these days, in which a non-drug user attempts to create on-screen to a general audience what it would be like to take drugs.
Its complete lack of any originality didn’t stop there. Due to the apparent absence of any intelligence in this movie, ripping off theories from other time travel movies like Terminator and Looper seem to form the underlying time-travel laws as they can’t think of any of their own. They reference these movies openly as if it were funny to be ripping them off, but instead it comes across as lazy and unimaginative. I get it, that was the joke, but jokes are meant to be funny. And this is not.
Once in the future our 3 pals meet up with Adam Scott; the guy from Parks & Recreation, who since the show ended has done some of the worst movies released in the last decade. The future holds a better life for some, and worse for others, and in a sea of holograms, and smart-smart cars, the present day was ripe for parody. After one of their crazy parties, they fall upon a futuristic TV show. To hope for something as creative as the Black Mirror episode where it took X-Factor to task is wasted effort. Instead a celebrity ultimatum game show results in ‘virtual dudefucking’, something seen as such an abhorrent act that it’s deemed to be on a par if not worse than buildings being destroyed with kids in it, rape and children drowning. Cap that off with the comparison of the iPad to a ‘dickpad’ (a holographic pad with a hole in the middle), it is clear to see that their effort in joke-telling has fallen lower than my enthusiasm to keep watching this piece of crap. Even Adam Scott can’t save this film from the smelly depths of vulgarity that this film resides.
Words can’t quite describe just how unfunny this film is. As Adam Scott has his ball sack syringed and a jizzy milk substance squirts into Darryl from The Office’s eyes and mouth, I begin to contemplate what I will watch next to restore my faith in comedy. Will Ferrell has that Get Hard movie out, but I can only assume that will be an unfunny ‘comedy’ based on racial stereotypes. Ted 2 is out in the cinemas too, and if Ted was anything to go by I look forward to hearing Family Guy jokes regurgitated into a different format to generate more cash. Maybe all is lost for comedy in the movies. Alpha Papa and/or The Trip were probably the last films that made me laugh in the cinema, but I can’t expect Steve Coogan to be in every movie I want to see. Even he has done some diabolical shit in his time.
As Hot Tub Time Machine 2 came to an end, I reflected on the 90 minutes of my life I would never get back. Terrible script, wasted cast, awful concept. I wish I had a Hot Tub Time Machine, so I could go back in time and stop myself from watching this mess of a film.
I should have shortened this review, to simply a 4 word review; “Hot Tub Shit Machine”.
This review sounds so much better than the movie, which was majorly shitty. Loved this take on it.
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Thanks Vinnie. Much appreciated.
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I haven’t seen this yet, but I’m curious about something. How did they explain the lack of Cusack and addition of Scott? Did they kill him off and Scott was his brother? I need to know!
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Something like that. I think they said that Cusack was his Uncle. I didn’t really care for the explanation!
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Well, at least they tried to explain it somehow! Instead of just pretending it wasn’t a thing.
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For some reason I thought that in the current time Cusack was off being a “cocksucking dickhead” or something and when they went into the future Scott was his son (or something). The movie was so lame it hurts to try and piece it back together.
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You saw it too, eh? I’m kinda surpised because I know that it’s definitely not your kinda humour.
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I actually kind of liked the first one but this was simply dick, male butt rape and jizz jokes. It was TERRIBLE.
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Sequels are so depressing… *le sigh*
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Does this cheer you up: I’m eating jello for breakfast.
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Haha, yes! What flavour? And is it a big batch of leftover jello shooters??
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I haven’t started drinking at work yet even though I should… it was a bowl of mixed fruit in black cherry jello and it was DELISH!
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Sounds like you’re living out your dreams!
Yesterday I ate a huge bag of Nibs for my afternoon work snack and it was goddamn delightful!
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Every day is fucking PARADISE here!!!!!!
#not
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Yeah, I’d completely erased it from my memory for the most part. He was probably off raping something with big saggy tits covered in jizz or something equally hilarious.
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right or saying “you like whale’s jizz” over and over and over again just changing the ending.
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You watched this? I thought this would be on your “Boyhood” and “Les Miserables” list of films to never watch in your lifetime!
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HA HA! I actually kind of liked the first one so we gave it a watch one Saturday afternoon and it was absolutely terrible.
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The first one I didn’t want to see, but I could understand some watching for Cusack; but since he steered clear of the sequel was a pretty big indicator how atrocious it would be. lol.
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I do agree with you but I should mention that he’s actually in this one : )
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Oh no you ruined the movie I’m never going to watch!!
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HA!!
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I didn’t mind the first one, but haven’t seen this yet. Your review kind of makes me want to see it more. lol
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Do so at your own peril. I can only do so much.
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“what ensued was a plethora of vomit, blood, penis, jizz and rape jokes on repeat” So it was like reading The IPC for 90 minutes?
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Yes. Exactly. Best analogy of the week.
P.S. I should be in your neck of the woods at some point in the future. Let’s have a few beers and do some Submission Wrestling.
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Nice! Email me with more information.
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Will do – I’m waiting on someone there to get back from “sick leave” and then I’ll get more details.
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When you guys meet up, you have to make a short video for an IPC entry to document the wild night full of chaos and intrigue. I don’t know if it’s legal for you two to be in the same county.
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That video would break the internet.
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Nothing new for you. You break the internet on a regular basis. I think it broke on your shitfest social when you watched The Secret Village.
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LOL
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Are you and Brian friends in physical life? If so, how did you guys meet – go to school together? Seems like you’ve known each other for a while.
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Just through the blogs – we’ve been doing this thing for about 3 years now LOL
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Oh ok. Are you really going to try to meet if you’re in his area?
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Sure – of course.
I applied for a job that’s HG in New Jersey – about 45 minutes away from him (I think is what he said). I interviewed last week and it went pretty well and he said he wants to fly me out for a face to face interview when this other dude gets back from sick leave….
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Thinking of moving to NJ? What’s Mrs. IPC think?
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I believe the theory is that I would work full time here and go to NJ frequently…
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Oh ok, that’d be good.
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I hated the first Hot Tub Time Machine and something tells me I would hate this even more. Some of the jokes your distibing sound like they come from Movie 43. Like they took a rejected story from that movie and just turned it into it’s own feature. great review
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Bingo. Absolutely nailed it.
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Reblogged this on movieblort and commented:
My Shitfest entry has gone live today. I discussed the abhorrent pile of shit that was Hot Tub Time Machine 2.
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THANK YOU for doing this and THANK YOU for the reblog! The post is great!
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No problem. I had fun doing it. I sent someone else your way too (Jacob from ‘Should I Watch’ Reviews). Spread the love of Shitfest far and wide!
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He’s up tomorrow! : )
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I’m so sorry you lost 90 minutes of your life. 😒 It made for a thoroughly entertaining review though! 😊
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Kim!! This movie = NOT recommended!
: )
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Hey Eric! This definitely doesn’t sound like it’s for me.😕
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Good call!!!!!!!!!
*fist bump*
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Happy Monday Dear Eric!
#hugs
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Thanks. I lost a lot more if you include the dross of the first movie. Cheers for the sympathies and heartfelt condolences.
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I’m happy now I missed both!
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Yes, this review is great – except one thought comes to mind, WHY DID ANYONE WATCH THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE??? lol.
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LOL
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I watched it out of morbid curiosity, to see if they could make something worse than the first, and they did. Sometimes you need to analyse shit to see what’s wrong, and in this instance, there were so many things wrong. If I were a doctor and this was someones shit, I would tell them they were going to die.
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Blort, You said you wanted to restore your faith in comedy; I just posted a video of “Children’s Hospital” on this board a few comments down; it’s only 11 minutes. give it a watch and will hopefully help you heal from this clunker.
*Also, if I could offer a comedy recommendation, try “Film Geek”. It’s available on netflix and amazon prime. It’s ultra low-budget, but so much funnier and more clever than the likes of big studio comedies like this and Get Hard, which looks equally as terrible as this mess.
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I will check it out in due course, thanks for the tip my friend! Currently working my way through some films for the Fantasia Film Festival at the moment so pretty flat out!
It’s on the list now though!
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I skipped the first one b/c I just thought it’d be too dumb, but I could see how some may be curious to watch strictly for John Cusack. So, when you see Cusack doesn’t want anything to do with the sequel, you know it’s going to be really bad.
I actually think Rob Corddry is funny, especially when given material to work with. “Children’s Hospital” is hilarious!
I liked Craig Robinson on “The Office” as the disgruntled warehouse worker who had to endure Michael Scott’s craziness. But when Carrell left the series and then they promoted Darryl to work in the office and he was forced on the audience as a main character he was no longer interesting, and in a large dose he just isn’t funny. There’s actually an illusion that he’s funny and what I mean is he is constantly in supporting roles where he is surrounded by funnier people; they get laughs and then Craig tails in on their jokes and then the audience feels like “he’s funny!” when in actuality he really isn’t. At all. He doesn’t create humorous moments; someone else does – and then he jumps on board and tags along. When he attempts to make jokes on his own, it’s always cliche and recycled drug, sex or racial jokes that feel forced and dated.
In case anyone doesn’t believe me, he has a new sitcom coming out on NBC next month; watch how it bombs. It’s going to be terrible when he doesn’t have Steve Carrell or anyone else to hide behind and it’s just him and his terrible jokes.
And that Duke kid, whatever his name is that was tacked-on at the end of “The Office” and “Two and a half men” is just not funny and has 0 charisma. He sucks. Even in a supporting role, surrounded by talent.
Well, glad that shitfest is finally getting films for me to blast again! 🙂
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I agree with everything you said (except for the part about Corrddy) (or however you spell his name.
And yes – that Robinson show is going to BOMB!
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Corddry was pretty funny on “The Heartbreak Kid” with Ben Stiller. And as the clown doctor on “Children’s Hospital”. You haven’t seen that show, have you? They’re short stores – like two stories on one 30 minute episode.
Here is one of the stories; it’s only 11 minutes long; there’s a lot of comedy actors in this. Peele (from Key & Peele), Nick Offerman, Henry Winkler, Megan Mullally, Malin Ackerman, Erinn Hayes, Ken Marino, Rob Huebel…
I think you’ll like it. Check it out:
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I’ll check it out later : )
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LMK what you think when you watch it. And if for some reason, the video post is lagging down the comment board or anything, feel free to take it down; hopefully it won’t be in the way. I should have probably posted it on my MISC. board instead of here.
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I watched a couple of these and they’re pretty funny : )
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Yeah, it’s one of the funniest currently running shows…
Did you watch the one I sent?
I liked it when Nick Offerman was tracking down the kid…”Is the kid about yay-high?” and the doctor goes “Yep, that’s the one.” lol.
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I did – it was funny, I watched a third before I left where Ed Begley wanted to abort his sixteen year old son who convinces him he’s pregnant so he changes his mind. I lol’d in that one. Definitely something to watch more of.
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I just looked it up and watched. LOL. There are really no boundaries or limits to the content on this show. It’s pretty much anything goes. It’s so much funnier than most other big-budget sitcoms and movies.
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Oh yeah, also Lake Bell is on this show; I know you like her.
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What a great way to make something good out of something terrible. Like donating your organs after you’ve died. I will definitely be avoiding this one, it sounds simply horrible. Shame because the guy from Parks Rec is kind of cute in a weedy way.
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I would donate my organs but never my eyes. On the off chance someone took them and made me watch this again.
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Quite how a sequel got made in the first place is anyone fucking guess…
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Quite
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This was insufferable to watch. It currently sits at #1 on my worst of 2015, though once my shitfest contribution gets published you’ll see just how tenuous HTTM2’s grip on that dubious honor is. 😝
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I wait with bated breath 🙂
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Nice work! Never seen either of these films but now I wish they were both called “Shitty Shit Shit Machine”.
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HAHAHAHA!!!!
(I kind of liked the first one)
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Hot Tub Shit Machine = A film about a shit hot tub
Hot Shit Time Machine = A film about a turd that you microwave and it sends you back in time
Shit Tub Time Machine = A film about a tub of shit that sends you back in time
Hot Tub Time Shit = A film about someone taking their time having a dump in a hot tub
Shitty Shit Shit Machine = Being made to watch both Hot Tub Time Machines back to back.
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What is it with comedy sequels that have zero originality? This is an epic Shiftiest entry!! Loved it 🙂
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This things was terrible……
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I bet!
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Great review man! Some great lines here…. I loved ” kicking Buddha in the nuts” and the phrase ‘children-drowning’. HAHAHA!!!
This also really astutely sums up why I just don’t enjoy any US comedy. They all seem to be the same.
If you’re interested, one of the best comedies I have seen in recent memory came from New Zealand, called ‘What We Do In The Shadows’. I highly recommend it if you want a movie that’ll make you laugh! Not many movies can make me laugh but that one cracked me the fuck up.
Again, great post!
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I was thinking of watching the first one but now I’m not so sure. Sounds like so many other comedies released today. Nice post, and thanks for the warning!
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Thank you for enduring this so I didn’t have to.
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Nice review! Umm…. I’ll skip this one! What a shame as I kind of liked the first one. Even though it was a bit shit…. 🙂
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This one totally sucked balls……
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You would know, I guess! 🙂
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Wait! Wait! I meant, you’d know about movies sucking! Lol!!!
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I do!!
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Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. This looks… ugh! Horrible! And so unfunny and gross and ugh… thank you for sparing us!
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It was fucking awful –
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HAHA!!!! True!
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