Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2015 ~ SUMMER: THE PEN AND THE CLAM DISCUSS: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 3

THC31

*THE FOLLOWING IS AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION THAT HAPPENED ELECTRONICALLY BETWEEN TWO LIVING PEOPLE. SPOILERS MAY FOLLOW*

PEN: OH JESUS CHRIST, Clam!!! What the fuck did we watch??

What a load of fucking bollocks :CLAM

PEN: HAHAHAHA!!! BOLLOCKS is right!! Speaking of bollocks – WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH HIM CUTTING OFF THE GUY’S BALLS AND THEN EATING THEM???!?!?!?!??!

HC32

If the whole film had been made up of moments like that I wouldn’t have minded! It was gross but…..horror movie gross, you know? :CLAM 

PEN: Maybe it’s a guy thing but I thought that was just fucking wretched… I also detested the kidney sex thing… HUMP HUMP HUMP – to quote an old friend of mine “flexing male buttocks activate!”

Yeah but at least that’s what we queued up for! Look I’m a girl and I’m highly de-sensitised!! Totally agree the kidney thing was horrible. DID make me wince. I was gutted it was a dream though – we still had to listen to that AWFUL GERMAN GUY!!!!! I specifically remember thinking ‘gross…but at least he’ll be dead and quiet now’

 Me too – I was hoping we were finally done with the screaming and the little fat guy could go make the centipede. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a character more than that screaming German fucker. He was decent in the first one but god damn I hated him here.

You know you’re in trouble when you’re watching The Human Centipede 3 and the thing you’re most traumatized by is a raised voice. But that’s what I didn’t understand!!!!! Why such A LACK of centipede horror?!!!

Exactly!! Where was the fucking centipede forchristssake??? All it was was gross out shit, a noisy blow job, some more gross out shit, eating fried balls and clitorises, and no fucking centipede! ????????????

#??????????????????

Shit, I forgot about the clitorises!!!!!!!!!!! Speaking of which, what do you think of this centipede?!!!!!!! I thought it was IPC ready.

ziY6ZkB

 Um……………………

…………………………………… I’m listening……..

I want to go ON RECORD and say to all of the people that call me pervy and say that I use too many boobs that I didn’t coerce or persuade you to post that picture!!!! With that said:

WRgif

and

HC3boobs

It’s all lies! I wasn’t even allowed to be here unless I brought some tits with me.

 Don’t tell lies, Clam. You know what HC 3 needed? Less ball eating and more of this:

SF15GIF1

Or even some of this:

HC3gif3

I think there were enough tits in this movie (The German Bastard was a MASSIVE TIT) but it certainly needed some of this….
Or this? Actually yeah. This!!!!!! (I love posting on The IPC!)

What is this SMUT???? #filth #pervclam

giftest6

So… do you think – well I was going to say something about HC3 but then I got mesmerized by that bannister knob light switch… 

It’s getting slightly off topic now isn’t it.

 LOL – Yes… perhaps we should just move on to better things??

Like devils and exorcisms and things that go bump in the night? 🙂

 EXACTLY!!! And, like the ghost of a tortured South Korean woman, let’s fade into darkness and haunt these beloved readers from the shadows!! THANK YOU CLAM!!!!!!

Oh and #butts

hc3butts

147 comments

      • I just….I’m still astounded to be honest. I’m one of the fairest people around when it comes to movies, I’ll watch any old shit horror film and find something good about it.

        This really was awful!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing more.

        P.S no thank you!!! (seriously) #pens #clams

        Love Clam!!! #bib xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I would love to have The Pen and The Clam be it’s own podcast show. I love these posts. I have only seen the first one, and honestly it’s a bad movie with a great gimick. It’s one of those things that makes a good trailer and that is it. The first Human Centipede has a great trailer and that’s all it should be. Nothing more. But thank you again for your gifs of Winona Ryder’s boobs and other great works of art. Love it

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I hated this film! I thought Dieter Laser was beyond deplorable. All-in-all, this third centipede flick is the cinematic equivalent of being constipated; it takes forever for anything to happen, and when it does, it’s just shit!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Tom

    Christ in a bucket this looks AWESOME!!!!!! Kidney sex? What? After I just watched and reviewed A Serbian Film, this one sounds like an even bigger challenge to get through without vomiting. (Wait, can the mind vomit?)

    Liked by 1 person

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