SUBMITTED BY:
THEY’RE PLAYING WITH FIRE (1984) – Sybil Danning’s bod; everything else, bad
have what I call “The Adrienne Barbeau Theorem,” which is as follows: Big breasts, in and of themselves, are not enough reason to watch a terrible movie. Ironically, there are two movies that strongly test my theorem, and one of them is Adrienne Barbeau’s Swamp Thing (which see my review at this blog). The other is an abysmal ’80s slasher flick titled They’re Playing with Fire.
Sybil Danning plays an English professor (so much for realism) who seduces one of her young students (Eric Brown) in order to make him a patsy in a murder plot in which she’s involved.
Despite its familiar ring, this plotline is several generations (not to mention quality points) removed from Double Indemnity and its ilk. In fact, the movie’s slasher motif is so sordid, even for this genre, that it’s painful to watch. The movie would be deservedly forgotten, were it not for Danning’s astounding sex scenes.
These scenes, particularly the first one, are as jaw-dropping as anything you’re likely to see in a mainstream, R-rated movie. While not as anatomically graphic as your average porn video, Danning in the altogether amply displays enough, er, enthusiasm to get her point across. In fact, she’s so enthusiastic, you lose any sympathy for the kid she’s seducing. Here’s this gorgeous, buxom blonde twisting the night away on top of him, and he can’t think of anything better to do than *make conversation* with her! Obviously, the kid needs an education in more than English.
Other than the all-too-brief scenes in which Danning demonstrates why a date with her would fetch a small fortune on an auction block, the movie’s only element of interest is in seeing Alvy Moore (shown above, left). Moore, best known as bumbling Hooterville county agent Hank Kimball on TV’s “Green Acres,” here hits a career low as a gas-station manager who’s dumb enough to hire and re-hire the kid as an attendant even after he’s dumped the job on the promise of some loot from Danning’s English professor. The only thing that could have made this movie more bad-memorable would be to pair Danning with fluttery Hank Kimball: “Welcome to Hootersville, I mean Hooterville! Sorry, I was blinded by your headlights, I mean my car headlights. The car is strangely stacked, I mean built, I mean…”
Here’s a short trailer for the movie (minus, of course, Sybil Danning’s cinema-verite sex workout):
Nice entry, looks very steamy but also very shitty.
LikeLiked by 3 people
LOL – Thanks Vinnie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know me, all about being a loyal follower.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I appreciate you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s great to know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHA!! steamy but shitty, great line!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
It sounded like a strange combination but perfect here.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Indeed!
LikeLiked by 2 people
This movie does justice to the Shitfest name
LikeLiked by 2 people
I like to refer to this post as “The Boobs That Time Forgot”….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha..
LikeLiked by 1 person
: )
LikeLike
Perfect entry! Love “Hooterville”!
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHA!! Sybil Danning!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is the first I’ve heard of her. I learn so much here!
LikeLiked by 1 person
THE IPC – a wealth of valuable information!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know it! You should add this to your header! 🙂
#loveeric
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHA!!! I will when I change my home page note!!
#lovekim
LikeLiked by 1 person
#wiseandwonderful
LikeLiked by 1 person
#hugsexclamationpoints
LikeLiked by 1 person
#wheresyourhat
#manyhugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
: ) Lunch time!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yum! I hope you’re having something good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gumbo!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sounds lovely! I’ve never tried it. 😕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never??
LikeLike
Nope. I’m a very boring and unadventurous person. 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
#dullkim
LikeLiked by 1 person
#thebestkim
LikeLiked by 1 person
#loveeric
LikeLiked by 1 person
#hughug
LikeLiked by 1 person
Back ‘atcha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah Sybil Danning. She was quite the seductress once upon a time.
LikeLiked by 2 people
YES!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
#truth
LikeLiked by 1 person
#Amen
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s been quite a turnout for Shitfest this time, wouldn’t you say Eric?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sure has! It’s been a doozy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s been a fucking amazing time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s been fantastic!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s been a scorcher in more ways than one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
YEP!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve gone through so many tissues reading some of the entries.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol, Sybil Danning’s haircut on that poster is outrageous. That’s the main reason she’s topless in this movie, so people won’t look at her fucking terrible haircut.
LikeLiked by 2 people
HAHAHAHA!!! You should google image her sometime…. that’s not the worst of her hairdos….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I’m pumped now! I got my Friday night plans now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
She’ll get the married couple ready for bed!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaha Ewwww. That’s so weird. lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwkward!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL, not as awkward and funny as Vinnieh having an XXL lightsabre in his pants.
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL – OK – this is getting creepy….
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, I guess technically it was Satrap. So that makes it better right?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Let’s talk about something else other than wieners….. I already saw a few today when I clicked on a “suggested” account to follow on Twitter…
LikeLike
Uh oh… that’s never good!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fucking wieners!
LikeLike
The cat’s out the bag now.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Not a terrible thing to be known for though, lol
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha, there’s plenty more to Satrap though. He has a big collection of costumes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! It IS a really bad fucking hairdo…. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Is Sybil Danning someone famous? Well, whoever she is she sucks at seduction (so much alliteration!). I’m horrified AND disgusted. Blehck.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL – She was relatively famous during the 80s and early 90s for her willingness to show off her big fake boobs – usually in “sword and sorcery” types of shit….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh! I’ve heard of those “sword & sorcery” movies before! So like, she would be a Kardashian today? (Or they would be her in that era? Whichever).
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL – that’s actually a really good analogy!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think this post warrants considering the possibility of an all 80s Shitfest one of these years…
LikeLiked by 3 people
I REALLY like that idea!
LikeLike
Make it so, my child.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Gramma!
LikeLike
I like the sound of an 80’s Shitfest!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I like it!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This looks horrible! Great entry. I will definitely NOT watch this one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I might someday – I always liked Sybil Danning LOL
#satanicbestiesforever
#sataniclampsalways
#satanicdoorknobs
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha! You would watch this one 😉
#existentialpigs
#squinties
#sangriasangriasangria
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHAHA!!!
#thebestdeadbody
LikeLiked by 1 person
#BEST
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t wait!!
#yourule
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also figure I should add:
#thebearwentoverthemountain
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! I just got that out of my head and now it’s back in there again!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice post! Is Shitfest over, though?! Just seems like the usual kind of stuff Eric reviews. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a Wanker!!
#YouWanker
LikeLiked by 1 person
That 80s hair is atrocious. And I have no idea who this Sybil person is but I hope she stays in the 80s where she belongs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Happy Friday!! (here anyway)
#sybilies
#hairdosies
LikeLike
My thoughts exactly! That’s the kind of hairdo that gives me nightmares.
LikeLike
BOOBS!
LikeLike
Meh, this just looks dreadful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOLOLOL – and I’ll still probably watch it some day….
Chop
LikeLiked by 1 person