I can’t believe my lazy ass almost missed out on Summer Shitfest 2015!!! I’m so lucky dear and patient Eric allowed me to submit my entry this late, but here am with my shitty pick and it is no other than…
“Nice dress. – Thanks. It’s a Ver-sayce.”
This notoriously bad movie needs no introduction. The first time I ever watched Showgirls was when I was a teenager and to naïve to understand it’s actually a piece of crap covered by the blinding lights of Las Vegas. Ahh, my lord. Who was the idiot that sponsored this?
Synopsis: Naomi is a small town girl who wants to make it big as a dancer (stripper) in Las Vegas. She soon realizes it’s not that easy getting to the top as some nail drawing, pushing, and lip lickin’ need to be done first.
I sum up my hatred for Showgirls with 2 words:
The woman can’t act or dance for shit, not to mention her sex scenes are so damn awkward she looks like she’s having a seizure. Her character, Naomi, is ridiculously annoying with her exaggerated furious attitude (flicking the switchblade, throwing the backstage curtains…) and it’s only fair to say this movie completely sucked because of her. Well, mainly because of her. The plot’s not so great either.
This onetime Saved by the Bell star decided to take it up to the next level and make a complete idiot of herself, thinking that this cheap motion picture will make her a huge star. Well, sugar, this ain’t no junior high and you’re not in Bayside anymore. Taking your panties off, lickin’ a pole and moaning in front of the camera won’t always pave the path to Hollywood stardom.
Not that Hollywood, anyways. You’d actually know what the fuck you’re doing and study some acting first, and then maybe… MAYBE… and take off that hideous eye shadow!!!
A few words about the other cast members, if I may. I’ll start with Gina Gershon, who I very much appreciate as an actress. Something about her that I just love. I think she deserved so much better than this!!! Her playing footsy, love-hate, bisexual, near kisses relationship with Naomi is a complete blah blah blah, and why did she get a name from an 80’s trashy soup opera? Crystal Connors. Moving on to Glenn Plummer who plays James Smith, a choreographer who’s trying to teach Naomi how to dance and tells her she’s “got more natural talent when you dance than anyone I’ve ever seen”. You don’t go out much, James, do you? What’s with you, People? Why would you redeem yourselves to such level?
As for Kyle MacLachlan, I never really liked the guy and his character is as damn vile as he very well deserves. I don’t really give a fuck if he’s making a complete tool of himself by being on Showgirls.
Overall Showgirls a complete over the top and unnecessary experience. It’s a wasted 128 min’ of melodramatic porn.
I HATED IT!!!
Thanks folks for letting me blow off some steam. Go Shitfest!!