Isaacs Picture Conclusions

DEVIL WEEK 2015: DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974) FOUR CLOVEN HOOVES

horns2*The opening to this post may come across as a little weird. I used to do a feature out here called “Let’s Sneak In To The Drive In” where I reviewed old Drive In movies but then I turned it into its own blog and never kept it updated*

A lot of folks my age (that I talk to about this) seem to really regress and get nostalgic to the sound of a vinyl record player belting out anything (scratch scritch scratch) and I do too but, to me, there’s something even more awesome: listening to some Allman Brothers or Dr. Hook or Alan Parsons Project on my old 8 TRACKS! (yes I have a working 8 track-playing console stereo that I got at an estate sale). There’s nothing analog-oly finer than some warped tape spooling through whatever it spools through and producing some slow-then-fast-then-slow-then-faster tunes as you speed down the road in your souped up, 440 block El Camino in the middle of the summer! I didn’t actually do that since I wasn’t able to drive when The Last of the Drive-Ins went kaput, but I can dream it up can’t I? Those were the days, eh? To end this intro, I say to you that I have never heard of DEVIL TIMES FIVE in my entire life and… I LIKED IT. So let’s get eight of you into the back of the Camino and head to the Drive-In for:

dtfpost

(fyi, this is known as Peopletoys on IMDB)

An older man is picking up a much younger woman in his awesomely huge car! She’s his lover and the daughter of his boss! Elsewhere a bus is driving up a snow covered road. It blows a tire! They “fast motion” the film! The bus is going at a super speed down the mountain!! It rolls off the hill!! Out crawls a little black kid and steals a dead person’s watch! Out crawls three young ladies, one dressed as a nun! As they set to leave, out crawls a young Leif Garrett!! They set off into the snow as, elsewhere, at the top of the mountain, a group of deviant adults have gathered for a vacation, little do they know what fate has in store for them! Included in this group is none other than a young Boss Hogg (Sorrell Booke)! He’s relatively thin and has a huge mustache! He’s married to a drunk! She hates him! The character “Lovely” (wife of Papa Doc {Gene Evans}) wants to do it with the mentally impaired houseman Ralph! He just wants to talk to his rabbits!! Lovely gets in a fight with Julie!! Giiiiiiiiirlllllll Fight!!!!!! A boob pops out!! Order is restored!! The boob is demurely covered up!!

Outside the house, in the garage, the kids have killed their caretaker (who followed them from the bus crash scene) in the longest, slowest B&W death scene ever. “We have to get rid of it,” the leader of the pack remarks, concerning the dead body. Inside the house, there’s a lot of grumbling about salaries and jobs and who’s the head honcho and there’s flirting and sexing and shouting and drinking and sassing and mustaches and pool playing and cigarette smoking and a dude’s naked ass until the drunk wife goes downstairs for some J&B and runs across this:

So – let me clear something up. We don’t know jack shit about these kids or where they came from or where they’re going but, from left to right: that’s the militant black fellow who talks all “Army” and is the leader of the gang, behind him is the nun who I really liked for some reason in some creepy way (her acting name is Gail Smale btw), in front of her is the girl who is obsessed with her baby doll, next to her is Leif who – ahem – is a kid cross dresser – ahem – obsessed romantically with Hogg’s character – ahem and behind him is the arsonist chick. The group of adults reluctantly take the kids in and, wouldn’t you know it, people just start getting….. murdered!!!!

That there is one of my favorite shots of the film even though it happens kind of later on. I think I’ll just say that I was VERY surprised with how the kills were pulled off for a movie like this. There’s a hanging, a beat to death with sledgehammer and chains, a drowning in a bathtub full of piranhas (with allusions to a piranha in a wheeeeeeeeeeere), an ax to a head, what else, someone gets thrown out of a window, a spear in a neck, someone gets bear-trapped – all by little kids of all people.

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I don’t think that I’ve ever really see any killer kids movies that I can think of. The only thing that comes to mind is Orphan or The Omen… believe it or not I have never seen any of the Children of the Corn movies (Editor’s note I’ve now seen them all : ) ) – maybe I should do those if I ever finish the Return of the Living Dead series. Yes? No? Go screw yourself, Isaacs!? I was thinking about doing the Hellraisers (EN: I did them all) since I have only ever seen the first one. Any suggestions? Back to the matter here, Devil Times Five was kind of awesome in-that-70s-drive-in-way and they even set it up for a sequel rolling a graphic over the last shot reading: THE BEGINNING.  I would be all for it! Three for three likes so far on these drive-in movies. Can it last?

To see me good friend FILMNERD’s take on the movie DEVIL just click here!

48 comments

  1. bifferspice

    i have no idea if i want to see this or not! 😀 but your thinking of child-killer films made me think of “the brood”. given what ends up happening in that film, i’m not sure if it qualifies or not. between thinking of that film, and reading this review, i’m not sure of anything any more. i might just go hide in a cupboard until someone tells me everything’s alright!

    Like

    Reply
    • theipc

      That’s a great comment! I need to check out The Brood. I forgot to mention that the kids kind of – um – well – play with the dead bodies like they are dolls too. It might actually be time to hide in the cupboard!

      Like

      Reply
      • bifferspice

        god, i don’t know if that makes me want to see it more, or less. i don’t even know how much i wanted to see it in the first place! i do know if i see it’s on at some point, i would have to have a look! 🙂 the brood’s a weird one. i think it’s very good. or it might be terrible. regardless, it has oliver reed in it. and that has to make it brilliant. by default. that applies to all his films. even condorman.

        Like

      • theipc

        that’s quite a struggle you are having with The Brood. Sounds like you might need to take a vacation to a tropical island and get that figured out so you can go on : ) Condorman, eh? I’ll have to check that out too : )

        Like

    • theipc

      this movie was surprisingly fun! I wish someone would remaster it or something so we could experience it on, say, Blu Ray. I like the graininess and all but this could use some more exposure – and a sequel! That piranha scene was something else… “Don’t hurt the babies!! Don’t hurt the babies!!”

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      Reply
  3. mistylayne

    I love your use of exclamation points!!!!! It’s wicked awesome!!!! And this movie sounds hella fun!!! *giggles* Also what about “Village of the Damned”? I’m a fan of the “Children of the Corn” movies (the ones I’ve seen) but soooo didn’t like “Hellraiser”. Love your review!

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    • theipc

      THANK YOU!! Exclamation points R fun!!! It’s been so many years since I’ve seen Children of the Damned that I have clean forgotten about it. This movie was totally fun! I hope I get this lucky again 🙂

      Like

      Reply
    • theipc

      Heck yeah baby!!

      #midnightridersforever

      If you watch it, watch it on a small screen because it’s pretty grainy…

      #satanicbestiesforever
      #squintiesforever
      #thebestdeadbodyever

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. Laura

    The Brood, The Children and I’m sure you’ve seen my favourite Who Can Kill a Child..? Anyway, great stuff as always. It sounds like there’s a bit too much faffing before all the murdering starts…?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      My Dear fn,

      Firstly, where has your gravatar gone? Things like this keep me up at night.
      Secondly, yes – I really dug Who Can Kill a Child!
      Thirdly – Devil Week rules!! Thank you much for everything!!
      Lastly, it’s time to get drunk.

      Love,

      ei

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      Reply
      • Laura

        Dear ei,
        I noticed it had gone but I have no idea what I’ve done or how to fix it. Hey ho! These things don’t really bother me all that much, I’m actually quite lazy when it comes to fixing things and stuff.

        Happy Devil Week! And enjoy your drinks tonight – this is the beginning of a new era.

        Cheers to you!
        Love,
        fn

        Like

  10. domingosaurus

    I love that movie! We used to have a great video store here in Ann Arbor that had a HUGE archive of old VHS tapes. (Many of which could not be found on DVD.) I found this movie there, and grabbed it because I have a standing rule to watch ANY low budget 70’s horror movie that has Boss Hogg in it. (So far I have never been let down!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      • domingosaurus

        Come to think of it I have that set too. I actually have a couple of those “50 Movie” boxes. (I didn’t get it until a few years after I first rented Devil Times Five from the video store.) The thing about those sets is, some of those movies are absolutely UNWATCHABLE. (And I LOVE low budget horror flicks.) Plus, if you buy different sets (and I have 4 or 5) you find the same movies cropping up on them over and over. Still some great stuff for almost nothing!

        Liked by 1 person

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