Isaacs Picture Conclusions

DEVIL WEEK 2015: DEVIL SEED (2012) THREE TOP HATS

horns2dseedpost

This also appears to be called The Devil in Me (but I guess that name was too close to something that got a LOT of bad press) so they either changed it to The Darkness (or that’s what it’s called elsewhere) and then DEVIL SEED. BUT – this gets one of those, well, shrug, eh, I’ve seen much worse. No offense to any Limp Bizkit fans, but this reminds me of any L.B. song; it’s good but there’s something about it that is not good. Like, hey that guitar is killing, that bass is wicked, the singing isn’t bad but the lyrics are talking about nookie and sticking cookies up your ass? What? Or, this song’s not too bad but your video is you pretend dancing like you’re driving a car? Huh? That’s kind of the way I feel here. This started off not too bad and the three lead actresses were pretty good and then the demon-woman pees on the floor and licks it up?? What?? With her CGI serpent tongue? Huh? I won’t spoil the ending but that also gets a big eye-roley, look-at-you-with-a-grimace, whuuuuuuuuut. I’m not trying to dog anyone who was involved with this, but this could have been much, much better.

devilinme

So, I really liked the three actresses but not the the three male leads and that really doesn’t have anything to do with the nature of sex – I thought they were believable and Shantelle Canzanese did really well in here. I liked the idea about some demon populating the virgin Michelle Argyris’ character but I didn’t like how we never really get “Why Her?”. I liked the practical blood effects but I didn’t think the CGI was well executed. The other day I made nachos with expired cheese and I liked them but I didn’t like what they did to my stomach an hour later. I love my cats but I don’t like changing out the cat litter. Do you follow? Wonderful!!

darknesspost

This starts off with a flashback of a chick getting an exorcism and then getting stabbed by the priest. 30 years later, a good looking chick picks up another good looking chick at the airport (Jessica and Alex). They head back to their new dwelling (I presume it’s the house from the flashback sequence) and we get a peek at the third roommate (Breanne) boinking Alex’ boyfriend. She makes him jump out a window and then all four of them gather in the living room and it’s “AWWWWWWWWWKWAAAARDDD…” 😐 Well, the next night the four of them all decide to hit the club, the boyfriend Brian leaves early to go bone Breanne so Jess and Alex head home. Unfortunately they make the decision to stop off and get Alex’s palm read and, as always, Alex’ dead mom is trying to contact her about something and we get the “THERE’S SOMEONE WITH HER WHO HAS MANY NAMES OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE!!!” thing from the psychic and Alex starts convulsing and screaming and everything else.

found searching Shantelle Canzanese

found searching Shantelle Canzanese

The next day she gets up and can’t remember shit and Jess tells her she freaked everyone the fuck out and then Alex starts finding weird scribbles in her text books and things go creak and bump in the scary old house. Before too long the demon thing is giving her…. um… The Pleasure and then she’s standing over beds staring at Breanne and has a pee and cricks her neck and there are cuts all over her body and she’s floating above her bed and being dragged upstairs (which was a pretty cool scene) and things get pretty bloody up to the “hmmmm” end. Then it’s over and I was left with the big shrug, eh, I’ve seen better but I’ve also seen worse. Like, this weekend the wife and I watched BACHELORETTE with Kirsten Dunst and that was just awful. Introducing a couple of new people that will probably be around for awhile, if they feel like it.

#thepleasure

Michelle Argyris as Alex

This post was originally published in August of 2012 and for some reason – I get a ton of hits off of that tiny picture right up above.

To check out my dear FILMNERD’s post about Devil’s Tower- just click HERE!!
Also – be sure to check the updated Devil Week page – there’s good stuff there – there’s also two days left if you want to get your name on there!

68 comments

  1. “The other day I made nachos with expired cheese and I liked them but I didn’t like what they did to my stomach an hour later. ” – lol! How many of your reviews include something about your bodily functions? 😉 And you were a little too nice to Limp Bizkit.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. I thought it said Devil Shed until I started reading the first paragraph and I thought “oh that sounds good Devil Seed…oh THIS is Devil Seed!” – I’m like an OAP using really modern technical equipment.

    I won’t bother with this.

    And Pen……I am a huge Limp Bizkit fan 🙂 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hmm this sounds pretty meh. But I watched Unfriended yesterday and that was SHIT, and considering it actually had a cinema release, I think that makes it much worse than this. Do you get my logic, there?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “This starts off with a flashback of a chick getting an exorcism and then getting stabbed by the priest.” – LOL so many go something like this. Looks better than the last one, but still a long shot from good. And what the hell is up with the naming?!

    Like

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