SABOTAGE (2014)
In Sabotage, Big Schwarzie and the girl I LOVED in the U.S. tv version of The Killing use their U.S. government enforcement personnel roles to kill people and steal millions of dollars from some South Americans. Let’s just say that I LOVED Mireille Enos in the tv show and seeing her here was a really greasy Dairy Queen shit on her and I have no idea why she did this. She’s WAY too fucking small and feeble to be in an action movie role like this and her character was really pretty stupid. I know it sounds like I’m Shitfesting on this but – while I didn’t love it – I thought it was all right but Big Schwarzie kind of has a lifelong Hall Pass with me. I fully recognize the movie will be considered shit by some people but here….. *shrugs*
SO I give this a shrug and a Two Top Hats but I don’t think it’s Big Schwarzie’s fault. I don’t know if it was the movie production company or the casting agency but man was Enos wrong for this. I’m not sure how tall she is but she comes across about as menacing as the Paper Clip Help Guy from early versions of Microsoft Excel and she’s very important to the plot… Also – I don’t have a vendetta against Sam Worthington or anything but I also don’t get his appeal to showcase in a bunch of movies. I liked him in Texas Killing Fields but other than that I could care less, really. Anyway – my friend Khalid hated this but I thought it was decent enough – something to watch where you don’t have to spend any money….
RUN ALL NIGHT (2015)In Run all Night, haggard and old Liam Neeson continues his incessant run of playing a haggard and old ex-cop this time bringing the dude who slurs all of his words from The Killing down with him. I watched this a few months ago and it was so forgettable I’ve actually forgotten what it’s about other than Slurboy is Neeson’s kid and Neeson has to get him back from some gangster no matter what the cost. Even if he has to speak gravelly into a cell phone or GASP a PAY PHONE!! and issue threats. Then punch some people with his aged, Irish fists. KAPOW! SOCK!! KABAM!! BEGORRAH!!!
The only thing I really remember that really stood out was this one scene:
Neeson: Boy, I need you to get into character, this is a pivotal scene for me.
Robocop 2014: Yo, saaaaay whaaaaaaaaat, daaaaaaaaawg?
Neeson: Why do you talk like that? Speak like a Proper White Englishman.
Robocop 2014: Yo, sup. This is ma CHARACTER man. This sets me APART yo! This is ma SIGNATURE!
Neeson whips out his giant cock: You sound like a god damned fool is what it is. Talk properly or I’ll ball the shit out of your ass with my giant Irish cock!
Robocop takes a look at that massive thing and makes this face:
Then Robocop 2014 says: “YO WAZ UP MY DAWG?? I THROWIN DOWN IN THIS HIZ! YO!! SUP SUP!!” and drops his saggy pants to the ground.
The scene ends in a fade out with Neeson pounding away at him over a men’s bathroom urinal in Queens NY.
***
And that is your latest from the Half Ass Reviews division of THE IPC!
Want to be a member of the Half Ass Reviews Department of THE IPC??? Let me know in the comments or email me at ei@theipc.me
“Talk properly or I’ll ball the shit out of your ass with my giant Irish cock!”, this line cracked me up so much Eric.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s right! Actual dialogue!! : )
Hope you’re doing all right over there-
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m doing good Eric.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My Sweet Pappy
I can’t even remember the last time Neeson didn’t play the angry old white cop dude. So
sad.
PS: I nearly wrote his surname as Leeson. weird
Love
Kidney G
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dearest Sweet Kidney,
I barely can either… wasn’t he in a Academy Award winning movie once, maybe even before you were born??
Love
Sugar Pappy Giuseppe!!
P.S. #jagershots
LikeLike
Sweet Pappy G
I think he might have been way cool just before my creation. Is possible.
#jagershots
Love
Kidney
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sweet Sugar Kidney,
< 333
Love,
Sugar Pappy
LikeLike
Sam Worthington and Robocop should never be employed again! Although you have made me want to see a film where Arnie takes on the Excel paper clip guy… #RaisingHell2
LikeLiked by 1 person
Knife! 2! Big Schwartzie in a wheelchair vs the Excel Paper Clip! To the death!!!
#Knife!TheMovie
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tag Line: Bust A Clip In Dat Clip!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gosh and Begorrah Eric! You’ve given me a mental image of Neeson that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to scrub from my mind! I’d like to see Sabotage though. Arnold is kind of a guilty pleasure for me.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha, that’s Eric for you, making things very dirty for those reading. At least he didn’t deface your beloved Matt Bomer.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Gasp! I’d have to rethink our friendship if he did!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha, nothing can taint Matt Bomer for you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nope. Nothing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
It really is hard to criticise him. And as I’ve said in the past, there may be a woman in my life but Matt Bomer sure has a nice ass.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahaha!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know you agree.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Completely.
LikeLiked by 2 people
A finely sculpted ass.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yep!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wish mine was like that.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Me too.
LikeLiked by 2 people
We can but wish Kim.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sigh.😕
LikeLiked by 1 person
#taint
LikeLiked by 1 person
KIM!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just Kidding!
#loveeric
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry!! Or maybe not!! HAHA!!!!
I totally agree with Arnold – he gets a pass from me more often than not.
#lovekim
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! You’re so evil!😈 It must be all those Amityville movies!
#hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
Didn`t care for Sabotage and didn`t care for Enos in The Killing though I managed to sit through each and every episode. Somehow. Run All Night was okay but just more of the same and a little tiresome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like Enos just fine considering I’ve only seen her in two things. I just didn’t get her as some sort of Combat Commando Assassin…… yes – very tiresome…..
#truth
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sabotage definitely had a cool 80’s action movie vibe but they overdid the violence too much. I liked Arnie in this, he was easily the bright spot but in the end there were just too many things about this movie that I absolutely despised.
LMAO at the Run All Night dialogue, Robocop 2014 sucks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get that! I don’t know…. what can I say…. it kinda sucked (to me) but…. *shrugs*
HAHAHA! The new Robocop STUNK!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t honk I’m ever going to look at Liam Neeson the same way again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re not going to honk at Neeson the same way from now on???
: ) : )
J/K
#StupidAutospell
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fucking auto spell is a bitch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I HATE AUTOSPELL!
#keyboardsforever
LikeLiked by 1 person
Auto spell is a bitch and a half.
LikeLiked by 1 person
With regards to Kim and my discussion of Matt Bomer, what do you think of him Eric?
LikeLike
Hahaha! The Paperclip Help Guy is gonna kick your ass!!!!! 😉 Wow…. Sounds like quite the scene in the Neeson one. Btw – WTF ARE these movies?! Never heard of them!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve never heard of either one of these?? Man you British have a weird culture : ) : )
#plonker
#wanker
#tosser
(You’d HATE them both)
#paperclipguy
LikeLiked by 1 person
We only get good movies…. 😉
LikeLike
I haven’t seen either one of these yet. I usually like Liam Neeson in everything these days so I’ll have to watch Run All Night.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good luck, my friend!! (it’s not TOO awful for a Saturday night put the kids in bed and have a beer night)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your version of Run All Night sounds great!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It would have made it MUCH better!!
LikeLike
Wow, Neeson. What a twist of brilliant storytelling!
#neesonsies
#mastercraftsies
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
#irishies
#robocopsies
LikeLike
Both those DVD covers are awful!!!! I’m sure Foxy Mel would agree with me ha ha 🙂
Nice double review Pen!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll agree that they’re pretty shit.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Arnie looks like he’s been caught in a really big camera flash lol
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Emma, just wanted to tell you in case you haven’t seen. I posted a comment on The Business soundtrack describing that video of Dyer in naughty detail. hehe.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh wow! Sorry Vinster I didn’t see it yet (I’m getting a bit behind!!) but thank you very much 🙂 I will check it out.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s really naughty, haha.
LikeLiked by 2 people
HI CLAM!!!!!!!
Miss you!!!!!
Love Pen!!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Miss you too!!!!!!! 😦
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
This estrangement has to stop!!!
Love Pen!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know! It’s not working out :p (the estrangement I mean)
We need another Films with Friends!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes we do! Very much so!
#seanpertwee
#megutscoop
#morebrains
#anfernee
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was watching World War Z again the other day and I couldn’t stop thinking about how weird that chick’s skull looked and that she should really factor in a few more calories into her diet.
LikeLike
Nice round up PSC!
LikeLike