Isaacs Picture Conclusions

MERRY XMAS! BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006) FOUR SANTA HATS

In honor of the upcoming celebration of the (enter your holiday), I present the third occasionally-annual reminiscence of what is possibly my favorite Christmas horror movie:BXMAS1

I really don’t get all of the hate for this movie. Is it because the original was so “adored”? I tried to sit through it once and it was so boring I eventually just gave up. Is it because of the super gory content? Is it because of the subject matter? Is it because Billy ate an eyeball? Is it because of all of the focus on eyeballs? I don’t know, but I think this is funny, very bloody, well shot, well acted and doesn’t try and take itself too seriously.  I liked the way they told the story, I really dug the way they did the flashbacks and I also really enjoyed the actors and the characters; I especially enjoyed Oliver Hudson as a total dick, well before his dopey, hilarious, Rules of Engagement role. We also get Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and even Andrea Martin, who appears to be a returnee from the original, as the House Mother. I guess I could complain that the ending went on a little too long, but other than that, this is the perfect Christmas movie to be playing on that living room TV while the family unit sits around eating a goose.

BXMAS2

Yellow skinned Billy Lenz was born in 1970 with jaundice, to a loving dad and the worst mother in the history of mothers. On his first Christmas, his mom smashes his Baby’s First Christmas ornament in her hand and sprinkles it all over the baby. On his fifth, his mom and her lover kill the dad in front of Billy’s eyes by placing a garbage bag over his head and hitting him with a hammer (that’s Billy’s motif later on when he begins his serial killing ways, you see).  Having witnessed this, his mom locks him in the attic for the next 15 years, only coming to see him every now and then to, um, er, um, have sex with him (I guess I can see how some people might not like this), and even, um, uh, well, has his kid, ahem.  As you can imagine, he eventually has had enough, kills his mom and step-dad, makes cookies with their flesh and is subsequently committed to the local insane asylum.

BXMAS4

15 years later, his old home has been converted into a sorority house and we are introduced to a group of lovely young ladies preparing to split for the holidays (and Hudson). There’s really no use citing any of the character’s names, since none of them are around very long, but sure enough, on this fateful night, Billy has finally escaped from the sanitarium, makes his way home and the young women begin becoming things of the past through various very gory ways. There’s even kind of a fun twist with all of this. If you watch this and roll your eyes because how could one person be in two places at once – well –  there’s a nice surprise in store for you. I have to say, I really liked that scene when they are all in that space between the wall.

BXMAS3

Ultimately, what we think is the end actually isn’t and the real end kind of drags on for awhile, but I think this movie is a lot of very gory fun. I have a feeling that the original isn’t much like this at all, which is probably why this movie is rated so low on IMDB. What can I say? I liked the shit out of it : )

BXMAS5

45 comments

  1. I’m kind of allergic to remakes, but this looks quite fun. You should give the original another go, though. It’s one of the best early slasher films and well worth a watch, even just to see where so many subsequent slashers got their inspiration from.

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    • theipc

      I know – I bow my head in sorrowful shame.

      In my defense, I did start watching it once but I was probably – um – er – erm – um – higher than the Sears Tower and got bored with it – I have been publicly shamed about that fact since XMAS so it’s queued up in Netflix and that will be remedied before XMAS 2013 : )

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  2. I wouldn’t say I hate this but given the choice I would rather watch the original. Bob Clark’s version just had a raw edginess to it that felt like an exploitation film and had the early ‘slasher’ film style.. I would say that fans of the first version probably don’t like the glossy finish of the new one.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy horrormas, dear Eric! We watched this last night and well… I’m conflicted. I like the classic awful college kids getting picked off one by one but I thought there was TOO MUCH back story about Billy and his mother was a bit TOO awful. I’m sure it’s easy to mess a kid up without going quite so overboard.

    Liked by 1 person

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