In Diablo – which is no relation to El Diablo – the sinister individual who created last year’s Shitfest anthem – Clint Eastwood’s kid comes around doing his best Clint Eastwood impersonation and the gang tries to deliver a sly twist on the classic Western tale of “White man has his Mexican wife stolen by Mexicans so he hunts them down and kills a shitload of unable-to-shoot-anything-in-plain-sight-Mexicans in the process”. Is it good? The cinematography is fucking fantastic! I mean really – especially up in those snowy mountains. How’s the acting? Well – Eastwood’s kid does his best Man With No Name except he’s more modern – meaning he’s got pecs and abs unlike the typical 70s action hero. He doesn’t say much and he looks just like his dad. How’s the Peyote scene? Irritating, kind of. How’s it overall??? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – it’s good but it’s probably a one shot viewing. I think they tried to ride a lot on the big twist but…. even the dumbass that I am figured that out early on…. I mean, I’d watch it again, I reckon, some time for free.
The story goes: a notorious Civil War murderer / assassin / Lord of Cruel has settled down on a ranch with his Mexican senorita, played by Camilla Belle who you barely see. As the film opens, some Mexican culos have set fire to their house and steal away with the bride, leaving him to die in his burning stable. The next day, he sets out, rifle in hand with the full intention of murdering everyone in cold blood and rescuing his wife.
On the trail, he runs afoul of Boyd from Justified, a tribe of Peyote eating American Indians, Danny Glover and then a bunch of Mexicans who never learned how to use their pistoleros in a gunfight. This isn’t a BAD movie at all – it’s actually pretty decent. THIS is a bad movie. Remember THAT thing??? When the guy ate his own jizz??? HAHAHAHAHA GROSS!!!
Oh well – I suppose there’s no need to carry on about that or jizz eating. I’m not sure who Scott Eastwood’s mom is but it’s always a pleasure to post a pic of the beautiful Sondra Locke. Meow Pussycat!