Isaacs Picture Conclusions

I’M SORRY: Part One

Hello and welcome to a new feature here at Isaacs Picture Conclusions! Am I actually in a state of regret?? Well…. always… but that more resembles public shame… No – what we’re talking about today refers to this version of the definition:

2. in a poor or pitiful state or condition.
“he looks a sorry sight with his broken jaw”
And – more importantly – this sorry fucking movie:

pr1This fucking movie starts off as a first person POV following some douchebags on a beach. As soon as this thing fires up and these kids trick a girl into doing a sit-up into one of their assholes, you are sure to hate this goddamn thing. Eventually they are giving us footage from the initial camera, then EVERYONE’s iPhones and even static cameras giving us a POV of someone doing a first person POV. Really – they are imaging the shot from some dude’s phone-camera and then, a second later, they show a POV from the guy who isย  looking at his phone. It was absolutely nauseating and pointlessly stupid. And then, for no good reason at all, they have static shots of this idiotic limo driving down the street.

pr2As far as the characters and acting goes – you will hate them all. For the first hour they squeal and squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee constantly to the point that I wanted to blow my brains all over the airplane I was in and………………. to make things even worse…… there is one of the WORST musical numbers EVER thrown in for good measure. I didn’t go to my senior prom – mainly because the girl I asked said she “had to go with her boyfriend” – whatever!! THANKS DAWN!!!!!!. Maybe if I had constructed an elaborate song and dance number with eight of my good friends that might have changed her tune, huh? Fucking bullshit!

pr3What’s this about? Eight screaming lame-os get in a limo and party it up. Then they eat some dinner and two girls announce they’re in love with each other. Then they get back in the limo and the driver gets killed and some asshole in a mask with a mirror on the front takes them captive with remote controlled seatbelts that lock them in. He makes one of them pee in a bucket (above), one of them have sex with another and one of them give a blowjob to a pistol. Why??? SPOILER: because one of them didn’t go to prom with him. So he kills them all. Nice! “Will you go to prom with me? NO? OK – well I’m going to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to soup up this limo I have no idea you’re going to rent and kill you all. Thanks.” Nothing says love like multiple man-slaughters.

pr4I always say that “A man has to learn by doing it himself” – remember: “I’ll never know if I don’t try.” So maybe you should give this a look and be your own judge but I found that there was NOTHING good about this and I really would have turned this off if I wasn’t stuck on an airplane and had something else to do. I fucking hated this from start to finish. If your curious about watching this with your mom, the chick below – her tits pop out of her dress once but it’s so dark and blue in there that you can’t really tell.

pr5So – from my POV – I’m sorry I watched this and from the other perspective, this is one sorry mother fucker.

And that’s your first installment from the new I’M SORRY department. Did you like? Want to contribute? Let me know!


  1. Pingback: Turbo Kid & Space Station 76 Movie Reviews | Cinema Parrot Disco

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