Isaacs Picture Conclusions

TIGER HOUSE (2015) FOUR CROSSBOWS TO THE LEG

thouse1For any of the six Good Beloved People who still read this site – you may recall that I built this place to talk about all of the shitty horror movies I watch – on purpose – so we can have a bunch of drinks and get our tits out and rail on super-shit movies without getting in trouble on our work servers. And – for anyone with some short term memory – I’ve been on a roll of seeing TERRIBLE FUCKING movies lately while I’m stuck up on an airplane, heading to and from smelly New Jersey. I still know how to keep things in perspective though, so when I tell you I quite liked this thing, it’s not just because I watched the awful Prom Ride and then this – so this was a refreshing slice of life that got me out of that goddamned limousine. I did like this! I might try to get into some of the details later but – you know what I liked most?? NOT a lot of shitty, useless, irritating dialogue! And, I doubt I’ll ever complain about Scodelario – not just because she’s good looking but that has to be one of the best last names ever.

thouse4In the opening scene we see Scodelario hanging with her boyfriend who’s smoking some weed. He then accidentally shoots her in the leg with his crossbow. Bam! I love you! Oops sorry! However many months trans-pass over the opening credits, she’s now knocked up but is skillfully able to climb walls and sneak into her boyfriend’s second story window. “I’m pregnant!” She says. “I have my whole life ahead of me!” Her boyfriend replies. Meanwhile, downstairs, his mom and dad are bound and taped up as some thugs intend to make off with the dad’s bank’s loot. “Please don’t do some raping!” Says the mom. (She doesn’t really say that but it’s intended))

thouse5Elsewhere, where I live, I just did my laundry and when I went to put the clothes in the dryer, I noticed that I just washed all of my clothes with the cat food bucket in there so now they are all covered and soaked with Meow Mix. Neat. I’m going to smell good when I wear those things to work. *Whistle Whistle*

thouse2So these guys break into the boyfriend’s family’s house and steal off with the dad. The main thug of the group gets hurt and spends a long time lying in the boyfriend’s bed with Scodelario hiding underneath it. That might sound kind of boring or lame but I thought the people who did this things actually pulled it off pretty well. Eventually she gets out from under the bed and some fun happens for the remainder of the run time. I’m not the kind of guy who gets into too many particulars of the movie but I thought this was enjoyable and it didn’t make me want to blow my brains out. Maybe these guys will read this and use that for the DVD:

“It didn’t make me want to blow my brains out.” Isaacs Picture Conclusions

thouse3I don’t think this is something I would watch over and over but I liked it enough. It was a TON better than the second movie I watched on the flight. That thing was called Bleed and it didn’t make much fucking sense. Kind of like the shit I write out here…. here’s the poster for Bleed and I swear that’s all you need to see about that fucker:

thouse6And, because I won’t ever review The Maze Runner (even though I liked it enough) here’s another picture of Scoledario talking about Bleed:

thouse7And, because I can only get to about 1 post a week these days and we need to get the most out of it, here’s a picture of my set up when I go out of town:

20160111_005453_hdr.jpgThat’s my ipad, lip balm, fan and noise machine.

I guess that’s enough for me for one day! Hopefully I can get something else pulled together before too long.

x x

43 comments

  1. Hold on… why was the cat food in washing machine?? #pussywasher

    On 4 April 2016 at 11:02, Isaacs Picture Conclusions wrote:

    > theipc posted: “For any of the six Good Beloved People who still read this > site – you may recall that I built this place to talk about all of the > shitty horror movies I watch – on purpose – so we can have a bunch of > drinks and get our tits out and rail on super-shit movi” >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m going to look into this one. Ryan advertised this one called “Hush” that I’m looking forward to that’s supposed to come out on the 8th. I am really hoping that one delivers. Speaking of delivering, how’d OK fare against Nova? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      Hush is by the dude who made Absentia and Oculus – both of which I quite liked so I’m ready for it.

      WHY GARY WHY??? Can’t you let the one just die??

      Like

      • Well dude, you may not know this about me, but UNC is actually my favorite college basketball team; i just took a liking to them as a kid. So…not sure who was hurt worse out of us; yes, we earned respect the way we fought back and tied and nearly forced OT and Paige hit one of the best shots of tourney history; but was it worth it? OK’s loss will be forgotten in the future – but UNC’s loss will always be remembered for the rest of college basketball history b/c they lost to a buzzer-beater to win the championship that will ALWAYS be remembered for the rest of time; therefore, we will have to keep reliving that game over and over and will never be able to forget it! At least OK will be able to forget that loss. But wait, OK’s loss was the worst in Final 4 history! So, maybe not! LOL. 🙂

        Seriously though, OK and UNC both had great seasons. 🙂

        Like

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