Earlier this morning I thought of the lame title for this post and then had to work and debated about whether or not to even try and write about it but then, with numbers on my mind (considering the title) my last three posts (as of the time of this sitting) all had “number of comments” at Prime Numbers – 19, 37, 53 – so I figured I might as well go after it. Those numbers might change by the time this posts – if it ever does – but here we are. Also, number wise, for some reason my MAD MAX TRILOGY is getting a lot of hits today and then – by a lot of hits – for some reason it has 67 hits right now which is very strange, my individual posts rarely look like that and, by the way, 67 is also a prime number. With all of that nonsense, I guess let’s see what we thought of this movie that doesn’t even know it’s own name – or maybe it’s marketing doesn’t. Or maybe it’s the fans. Or the fucking Weinsteins. Or maybe Tarantino doesn’t give a fuck.
(1’m, th1nk1ng th4t 1t’s th3 l4tt3r)
Also – I did really like the movie – the movie was good and well put together – but I am probably going to focus on what I thought derided from this three hour mother fucker.
The poster at the top has the 8 in the Hateful. The one just above has it at the end. What the fuck? Remember – I did like the thing despite it being so long but let’s talk about some of the things I didn’t like real quick. The first thing that totally annoyed me (aside from the constant and incessant talking – which I expected, being a Tarantino movie) was the constant use of the big N word. I get it. OK. You made your point and that shtick is over. YAWN. Next up was Tim Roth. I’ve never been a fan of his at all but the use of him and his Tea Sipping Englishness felt REALLY out of place here in the American Old West. Then there was Michael Madsen. I actually do like the guy but anymore all he does is smoke cigarettes and growl. Fine, son, but his hairdo in this really fucking irritated me. Someone once told me that it’s not rational to not like a character because of their hairdo but I can’t fucking help it. It bothered me.
That poster doesn’t have an I in the Eight *tic tic. I’ve said it before out here and in comments elsewhere that nothing grates my last nerve more than seeing Tarantino in his movies. He’s the worst fucking actor ever and he needs to just give that shit up. There’s also not much more that I hate than voiceover. Soooooooooooo – somehow Tarantino found a way for me to hate his acting skills even more by, instead of appearing in his movie, he fucking does a few minutes of pointless voiceover. And he does it in some sort of idiotic 70s style lady-radio-DJ style. Like that chick in The Warriors. UGH. The pain!!
But – again – overall I liked the thing. Some of the shit in here is actually hilarious – I think any part involving that door (above) is absolutely classic and Kurt Russell was fucking perfect – even better than he was in Bone Tomahawk. What else? The cinematography was FANTASTIC, the blood work around all of the goddamned talking was gruesome and gross and Bruce Dern didn’t bother the life out of me. I also liked the Mexican character. Here’s a random picture of Jennifer Jason Leigh for you:
Oh – you know what else bothered me???? Do you care??? There’s a line in Inglorioius Basterds where someone yells “Say auf wiedersehen to your Nazi balls!!!!” and then proceeds to stab this dude in the nuts. Most people probably missed that quick bit of dialogue but I caught it and I thought it was hilarious. In this one, QT has someone say the exact same thing: “Say adios to your cajones” and it totally ruined the auf wiedersehen one. Cry cry cry. Oh well. Again – I enjoyed this but never need to see it again and, if you plan on giving this a try, be sure to block out a window of about five hours to make it through this. I’m glad I didn’t see this in the theater because I probably had to pee three times during the run time.
Earlier I mentioned not liking a character’s hairstyle. That was in reference to the miserable Nightcrawler movie that I hated. If you were to click that link you could see what I had to say but, most notably, for some reason I put a nice gif of Jamie Lee Curtis doing some sort of Jazzercise or something (if you’re old enough to remember that). So – we’ll keep tradition up and here’s a weekend parting shot of Curtis doing some more moves: