Isaacs Picture Conclusions

OCULUS (2014) FOUR OCULI

Here’s another old post from the Mike Flanagan team in my effort to write about his newest movie – Hush. Apparently this was a divisive movie that I really liked but others thought was not so good. I thought it was really put together well and I loved the use of light and dark. What can I say? I liked it a lot.

OCULUS2HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOMEONE I’M FRIENDS WITH!!! WOO HOO!! GO SIN!!!!!

I don’t get out to the movie theaters that often, mainly because there’s not much that I want to see that costs me thirty bucks with tickets and food. But I’ve been looking forward to this for quite a bit as I follow the director on Twitter AND I love his last movie: ABSENTIA. I don’t think anyone’s ever read that post, if you want to be the first 🙂 Anyway, so I got to work one Friday and started reading the newspaper like the old man that I am and I got to the entertainment section and was all “OH FUCK!! OCULUS IS OUT!!” so I took the afternoon off and went and shelled out thirty units of my currency for a ticket, a hot dog, some poopcorn and a drink and I went and sat up at the top all by self and SURE FUCKING ENOUGH, someone came in and sat right in front of me even though there were 199 other open fucking seats!!!

wtf

To make my experience worse, after the trailers, during the “turn off your phone things”, I went and put some more butter on my poopcorn and when I got back to my seat there some old fuckers sitting about five chairs over from me and I got so nerved out that I spilled my freshly buttered poopcorn in the seat next to me so all of that was work wasted. But the movie started and I liked it from the get-go and, even though I could audibly hear those two fuckers eating their hard candies from 1948, I REALLY liked the movie – a LOT! And I totally, totally, TOTALLY loved the actress who played young Kaylie (Annalise Basso)!! What a STUD little actress.

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Since I’m so slow at writing, I’m getting to this late and a bunch of my other friends have already posted about this. Some of them have called it “too slow” and “not scary” and called me a “stupid fucker” and even “douchey mcstinkbag” but here I am and here we go. Like I said, I totally loved the young Kaylie and I LOVED how they intertwined the two timelines because i like smart and clever shit like that and I liked the steady, pulsing background music and that part where someone bites into a light bulb really had the sphincter clinching and I even liked the end. The only thing I didn’t really love…. Amy Pond’s bangs…. or “lifts” or “fringes” or whatever those English girls were yelling at me on my small post about this.

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And… since a lot of other people have already written much better pieces about this, whether they liked it or not, I don’t think I need to get into much about it.  An old mirror is cursed and it basically distorts reality until you kill yourself or kill others. That’s putting it pretty simply but I just loved the way they told this story. Get some flashback action, real time, flashback, real time then they start mixing the timelines together and it really worked for me. My favorite part was when young Kaylie jumps out of a second story window to escape her deranged, plate eating mom. It’s dark outside and she gets up and looks hopelessly at the house looming in front of her and realizes she has to go back. The white light of her skin and her red hair up against that darkness was kind of beautiful. Congrats Flanagan and folks!

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Another thing people have griped about was the – I don’t know – ghosts? They didn’t bother me at all. At least they used real people and not CGI horseshit like they did in MAMA.

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Oh well – I totally loved it and can’t wait to see it again. SMOOCHES and ❤ OCULUS.

TITS

Oh… and to the person who yelled at me yesterday for not using this correctly….: Rosebud… yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas! Full of country goodness and green pea-ness.

OCULUS7

65 comments

  1. My Dear Chop,

    The sinning will commence!

    Love this post, can’t believe those jackasses in the cinema though! This is something I would like to see!

    Love,

    JB

    Like

  2. Lmao! I’m forever going to call you “douchey mcstinkbag” for being all like “I’ve always wanted to work this CITIZEN KANE reference into a post somewhere” when, you know… DUH – you had already reviewed Citizen Kane. You’re funny. ; )

    I’ll watch this Octopus or whatever it’s called movie on TV in the future. Maybe. Sounds okayish. #doucheymcstinkbag
    #hugs
    #fringebangs

    Like

  3. We’ve still got a month and a half to go before this hits UK cinemas – very much looking forward to seeing it! And I hated the Harry Potter Dementor-esque CGI in Mama too. Entertaining write-up as always!

    Adam.

    Like

  4. I haven’t seen this so I have no clever retort for you [FAIL]. However I do love your header art (and it’s tangled hairball of evil) that I was thrilled to find out was inspired by little ol’ me. Unless of course you say that to all the girls, in which case, screw you and your twisted, evil hairballs of corruption!

    Like

  5. Victor De Leon

    Nice review! Cant wait to check this out, bro. I loved Absentia. If it’s the tits then I’m feeling them all up and feeling them up good!!! (haha you wrote “Poopcorn”)

    Like

  6. I heard a lot of people liked this movie. Thank you for reviewing it, you and Joseph gave me enough details that I can never watch it because I am a serious pansy!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY too scary. I seriously was dying at your movie theater story I think that happens to me every EFFING time I go, when in doubt they sit right next to you or in front of you. Douche bags. Oh you didn’t like the 5 million other open seats and yes I end up spending tons every time I go….my reason for so rarely going. I always have to get warm buttery popcorn, an expensive soda, some candy, I leave fat and broke and it is always my own damn fault. 🙂

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  7. Great stuff! I didn’t like it quite as much as you did, but it’s definitely a fun time at the movies. Quite liked the hairdo myself though. Yeah, definitely not a con in my book!

    Like

  8. Yo MC Stinkbag. Just watched this and really was not a fan. Too slow, not scary enough and didn’t like how the two timelines merged. So basically the opposite of you. Must be a southern hemisphere thing I guess.

    Like

  9. Oh hai. I remember liking Absentia so much and wondering what the director could do with a budget, and then he got a budget for Oculus and it wasn’t exponentially better than Absentia? Maybe my expectations were too high. I remember that I watched it, and the stoner from Dazed and Confused played the dad, but that’s all I remember.

    Liked by 1 person

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