Isaacs Picture Conclusions

INTO THE GRIZZLY MAZE (2015) BRING YOUR BEAR REPELLENT

grizz1I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan of Bear Attack movies – I think I’ve only seen The Edge and Backcountry – which I enjoyed – but considering all three, I’ve liked them all. I originally wanted to do a “Bear Week Blogathon” but then I didn’t post anything about it, mentioned it on Twitter and never followed up, so here we are. I’ve seen this movie floating around the cable channels for a while now and never gave it much thought because of the title, but one day it came on after something or other and I watched some of it while I was putting on my shoes and it looked interesting enough, so I gave it a full watch some other day and I liked it just fine. Again, I don’t know too much about this sub-genre but I’ve seen three of them and they seem solid. Nothing will beat The Edge though. I should talk about that sometime.

grizz2I think what drew me into this was Jimmy Marsden. I can call him Jimmy because Mrs. THE IPC went to school with him. I guess technically I did too but I was two grades older than him and back then, Seniors didn’t associate themselves with fucking Freshmen. But I do like what he’s done with himself out there. Oh – and Tom Jane – I’ve always kind of liked him too even though he’s especially wooden in this one. And, by “wooden” I don’t mean “stiff” like he was in “Hung”. I didn’t really care for that series even though it had Jane Adams who I care for even though she was in “A Series of Unfortunate Events” and only had, like, one line that consisted of “Kids today….” which is something that I say because I’m so old I remember what a LaSalle car looked like.

grizz3SO…………. Jimmy and Jane are estranged brothers – Jimmy went to jail for killing someone and Jane went on to become a fucking cop. One day, Jimmy comes back home to some small town in Alaska for some reason that eludes me, meets a hooker, sees her tits and then pushes her out of his hotel room because he’s not going to pay for fucking and beats up her pimp and blah blah the cops (Jane) shows up etc, etc. Elsewhere, some giant bear is going around killing people. “HE’S HUNTING FOR SPORT!!!!!” someone yells over-dramatically.

grizz4Actually, I don’t think anyone said that in this movie but one thing that worried me going into this was the presence of Piper Perabo (above) who has an unusual way of irritating me to no end every times she opens her lips. Luckily, in this one, she plays a mute who can only whimper occasionally so she didn’t grate my last nerve. I was also concerned about Billy Bob Thornton (below) who also has the ability to cause me irritation at regular intervals but I actually kind of liked him in this one. I guess, according to The Record, BBT is two for two in the last two movies I’ve seen him in since I liked him in the wonderful Cut Bank that no one else seems to have seen but me.

grizz6Jane is married to Perabo and she’s out checking traps in the “Grizzly Maze” when the cops decide that this bear is killing too many people and send BBT out to Scout and Kill the bear. “IT’S HUNTING FOR SPORT!!!!!!!” On the other side of the mountain, Jane, Jimmy and this hot chick below go searching for Perabo, to save her from The Bear, who goes unnamed. Actually, when I check The Record, the bear does have a name/credit: Bart the Bear plays Red Machine. Here’s a link if you think I’m lying or pulling your leg. On a side note, if you want me to pull your leg,  my fee is only 25 dollars U.S. plus the cost of a round trip ticket. I will fly coach if necessary but I do prefer first class since they give free cocktails and a nice, warm towel to wash your hands.

mm2.jpegAnyway, I liked this thing and would encourage you to give it a shot. I wouldn’t advise spending any money on it but it wasn’t too bad for free. It is a little gruesome at times but those aren’t very often and I think everyone did a good job here. I mean, I’ve seen MUCH worse (click the pic if you feel like it):

grizz7I have this post set for a Friday so I hope everyone has a great weekend! I’m back in New Jersey next week so I probably won’t be around much but I am going to try and get something ready for Monday at least.

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21 comments

  1. I love Bear Attack movies. Will have to check this out.

    I was going to make a funny comment and mention a film with one of those dudes that has hair all down his front and back like Albert from the WWE, yoiu know – like a bear, but when I Googled ‘hairy men in movies’ I decided not to. Gotta love Google.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sweet Uncle Pappy

    I swear Jimmy looks just like this one SA sports presenter, but NO ONE agrees with me. Literally, NO ONE.

    I think Bears are seriously misunderstood #justSayin

    Love,
    Kidney

    Liked by 1 person

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