Isaacs Picture Conclusions

BLOOD ORGY AT BEAVER LAKE (2012) PLEASE SEE BELOW (THIS TIME THERE ARE WORDS)

beaverlake1

First off, for the three people that still look at this place, sorry about that last post I did about The Triangle. That was supposed to be a treatise on what I found searching ‘The Triangle movie 2016’ but then I put all of the pictures together, got busy and never did any text – then I was out of town and couldn’t delete the damned thing so – oh well. Today’s post comes regarding an absolutely terrible movie that kind of saved my day the other day so I can’t dismiss it off to the shit pile. Make NO mistake – this is no good. The video quality is shit, the acting is shit, the mistakes are shit, the settings are shit, the props are shit, the CGI is shit, the giant beaver is shit. But yet – this movie did something for me.Β  If you read no further than the first paragraph – I would recommend this as one of those movies that you should watch when you want to get stoned, drink beer and just have a laugh.

beaverlake2Seriously, it seemed the whole movie looked like that, up above. I don’t know if they were using actual VHS recording devices but everything was blurry and sucky. But let me put this in context for you. There is not much I hate more than working out of town and living in a motel. I’ve been doing it now for eight months and it just gets worse. A few weeks ago I had, probably, the worst day of my life that didn’t involve a loved one dying and ended up getting stranded out of town after my plane left without me and IT WASN’T MY FUCKING FAULT. We got on the fucking plane and sat there for almost three hours because of a rain cloud, then they MADE us de-plane. I went and got ONE beer, paid for it and came back and the plane had taken off without me. The airline didn’t give one fuck and I had to call a cab and go get him cash and go stay in another goddamned hotel and even had to buy socks and a shirt and get up before dawn and try to come home. I know there’s worse things in life out there but it was absolutely ball-breaking and miserable and nerve-wrecking and I wanted to fucking cry and then it almost happened AGAIN.

beaverlake3As I work in New Jersey and live elsewhere in the middle of the United States, I got on my fucking plane and we sat there for almost three hours because there was a cloud over Washington DC and the pilot told us there were ‘hundreds of planes being delayed’ and we were basically trapped on the runway. Eventually we finally took off and landed in North Carolina and there were ’35 planes ahead of us to get to the gates’ and my connection was about to leave so I finally got off the plane and ran across the fucking airport and got to the gate covered in sweat and the goddamn fucking airplane got hit by the fucking FOOD TRUCK and it was delayed for an undetermined amount of time and I knew I was going to have to stay in the hot fucking Charlotte airport on its filthy floors. I also knew that if I left the gate and went to get a beer or even the equivalent of a gas station burrito at one of the food kiosks, the plane would board in under ten minutes and leave so I just sat there in my own sweat and moped.

beaverlake2Here’s that chick again. Eventually I got on the plane and ordered some fucking whiskey and started watching this movie and it was terrible yet it was easily the best part of my day so I tell you that I liked it. What’s it about? This scientist invents a drug that makes you so horny you sex people to death. If they don’t die they turn into zombies that sex you to death. Some bumbling hit-women speed off in a truck and the canister of sex-drug falls off into the road and some idiot hillbillies put it in their moonshine. This is also filled with things like this:

*Two females jogging*
One: I just love jogging at Beaver Lake!!
Two: Me too!!
One: Hey!! Do you want to take our tops off and jog??
Two: YES!!!
*Tops come off, jogging resumes*
One: I just love jogging with no shirt on! I feel so free!
Two: Me too!! This cold air feels so good on my nipples!!

And:

*A female is sitting at top a man lying in the grass. She has no shirt on but is wearing underwear. They appear to be having The Sex*
Female: OOOO AAAHHH OOOO AAHHHH!!
Male: Oh baby, make me come!
Female: Should I take my panties off?
Male: No! I love it when you dry hump me!

(I thought that was funny because there is nothing fun about that last sentence and it was probably an inside joke because the actress probably signed some sort of ‘topless only’ cause)

beaverlake5That last picture doesn’t have anything to do with THIS movie but is probably what I’ll talk about next, when I get time. To finish this shit up, I think, of the people who have read this over the years, only two people might enjoy this, Geoff and Misty. The rest of you should probably steer clear unless, like I said, you want to get into your kid’s weed and get stoned and have a laugh at some idiots. Do kids even do weed any more? I don’t think bath salts will do the trick with this.

P.S. There’s a character in this named Stinky Thumbs.

#StinkyThumbs

31 comments

  1. You had me at “blood orgy”… *giggles* It’s been awhile since I watched something like this (since I kinda just started watching movies again after, I dunno, a year or something?), so this will def be going on my list! (My insanely long list, haha).

    Sorry to hear about your travel miseries. πŸ™ Don’t blame Jersey though, blame your company! I’m very confused as to why they haven’t put you in a company apartment since you seem to basically live in Jersey. Not only would it be more comfortable, but it’d be a helluva lot cheaper. Also, if you ever want to meet anyone in Jersey, lmk and I’ll see about hooking you up with some of my friends there. (Do you like video games? Not a requirement, but video game bro dates are fun!) ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Title sounds like movie about periods.

    On 1 Aug 2016 11:03, “Isaacs Picture Conclusions” wrote:

    > theipc posted: ” First off, for the three people that still look at this > place, sorry about that last post I did about The Triangle. That was > supposed to be a treatise on what I found searching ‘The Triangle movie > 2016’ but then I put all of the pictures together, got” >

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I got sent a link from a Troma rep with a password but the password didn’t work so I never saw it. It looks likmae the kind of bad shit I love. Sorry about your planes taking off and leaving you but at least you got to be on a plane. That’s cool, the miracle of flight,being in the sky. That’s fucking amazing

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      Yesterday I got marooned in Chicago due to weather. Today I am trying to get on a flight into New York. Flying is a nightmare sometimes.

      Like

  4. I love the idea that no matter how shitty your movie is, that someone out there might be going through a really shitty day and your shitty movie might be the thing that saves them… This is a heart-warming article. Since when do you do those!!!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: