Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE NEON DEMON (2016) HIGH ART OR HORSE SHIT?

neon1Do you remember Drive??? What a fucking amazing movie! It set a standard for quasi-action and sponsored host of debates on other sites that still exist but aren’t really functional any more. Then remember the wretched garbage that was Only God Forgives???? What a terrible piece of shit. Surely Refn learned his lesson, yes? Well, this movie is a case for the most eye acting ever in the history of cinema, so let me present this to you in a different way than normal.

Pretty girl moves to L.A. to get into the modeling career; befriended  by comely, corpse desecrating lesbian:

neon5Then there’s some of this:

neon2And some of this:

neon3A little of this:

neon4Some of this which made no fucking sense:

neon7A little necrophilia:

neon6Some people eating:

neon9And what comes after this still is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen in my life:

neon8There is also a scene that I couldn’t find pics for, that I might not even show out here, but it promoted this on the IMDB message boards:

neon10I do NOT suggest you watch this movie but, if you want to, here come some spoilers:

This chick moves to L.A. to become a model. She meets other models who don’t eat food. They stare and stare and stare and stare and the camera moves in sweeping circles for two hours. Then Keanu Reeves rapes and kills a teenage girl off-screen, the blond chick moves in with Jena Malone who tries to rape her, she refuses, so the three models kill her, eat her and then bathe in her blood. There’s also some corpse desecration and a woman has a period that fills up the floor of an entire room. Two images above, that girl who looks like she’s in anguish? She screams for several minutes and then throws up a fully intact eyeball that would have been in her stomach acids for quite some time. Then she kills herself and someone eats the eyeball out of her pile of puke.

This movie was unbelievably boring, stupid, too dark (not lit) and the last ten minutes were laughably abysmal. I don’t know what the fuck this guy was trying to do but, to me, this was a huge fail. I guess I didn’t hate this as much as Only God Forgives but this was awful. And, to answer the question in the title of this post:

neon11

This movie can go fuck itself.

35 comments

  5. Zoë

    Sweet PSC,

    Dang, I was worried it would go this way. I mean there was Drive, just cinematic perfection. Then that UNFORGIVABLE Only God Forgives. Seems this fell flat. I have been wondering whether or not to check it out. Will likely put it on a “one day” list.

    Love,
    IJB

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. GaryGreg828

    Only God Forgives is much better if you realize that the police chief actually represents God and then the way Gosling’s character repents at the end is very powerful. But this one looks like pure crap, and I doubt there’s any hidden metaphors or context or anything redeeming about it. It looks bad from the trailer and your review seems to sum it up.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      • GaryGreg828

        Ryan also hated Only God Forgives, but he loved Neon Demon. I’m gonna give this one a try, although I suspect I will be siding with you on this one more than Ryan.

        Like

      • GaryGreg828

        I watched this tonight. Okay, don’t ban me from IPC, but I liked it pretty well. There was a ton of symbolism in this and I’m still reading up on it. Definitely not your kind of film, though, and not one I’d recommend to the general public (or you), but it’s interesting if you like movies full of metaphors and imagery, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

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  15. Monkeyboy

    I quite liked this movie. 🙂 You should check out his TV show, “Too Old To Die Young”. It’s ten hours of this shit. Sloooow camera moves, loooooong stares into the distance… you’ll love it, haha. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      I didn’t like this one and haven’t heard of the show. I haven’t even seen it around… I read the other day that he was looking into making a Batgirl movie. Can you imagine? Loooooooooooong stares and the occasional dialogue “wanna fight?” Kapow kapow. End.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Monkeyboy

        It’s on Amazon Prime and stars Miles Teller, and… Billy Baldwin!!! Remember him?? Seriously though, if you hate this, you’ll probably despise every minute of Too Old To Die Young. 🙂

        Like

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