Isaacs Picture Conclusions

I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE (2016)

pretty1Well…. hello there! The other day I watched a movie while I was not on an airplane and decided to break my silence and talk about it. My silence is caused by an unrelenting and unbelievable stress of work… I’ve never worked this hard in my life – CRY CRY CRY – anyway, I am going to position this post in the way that this movie positions itself – meaning, the dialogue will be screwy but we’re dusting off the cobwebs and firing up this laptop for the first time in a month… so let’s see what happens…

pretty2

I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE is a very pretty movie. It is very well shot and put together.

I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE has two very pretty principal actresses. I believe they are both English so when they are doing their best American accents they come across a little dodgy.

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I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE has a LOT of blurry shit that is evidenced in the picture below. I didn’t understand the need for the consistent dark blurriness or the constant voice-over.

I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE has Bob Balaban in it. You can take him or leave him. I prefer to leave him.

pretty4I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE shows an upside down chair on a wall repeatedly. This worked my OCD constantly and I don’t understand it. TIC TIC TIC.

pretty5I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE runs about an hour and a half and  it felt like it took me 8 hours to get through it.

I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE has exactly ONE effective scene that really worked for me or I would put this on the #BazookaList

I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE ends stupidly.

I appreciate I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE but it will take you a lot of work to get through it.

I miss you all!

47 comments

  3. Natasha

    My sweetest pappy!

    I was about to send out my famed search parties for you! So sorry to hear you are so overloaded right now, hopefully you get some ease in workload soon.

    Seems like a pretty stupid ending for the film!

    Love,
    Kidney

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      Wazzup Vern??

      I can’t even believe how hard this job is. I guess I got used to all of the pork and bloatiness of the last one for so long…. I would like to hear what you think about this thing…

      Like

      Reply
    • theipc

      I think that’s fair although if I compare it to the last movie I watched – Sorority Slaughterhouse – this thing is jizz worthy. Sorority Slaughterhouse is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in any language from any decade.

      Nice to hear from you!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Ryan

        Lol, I guess on my spectrum of movie-watching this movie is bullshit because I don’t go near some of the same movies you do. You’re a brave man! Nice to hear from you as well, always excited to see a new post from you!

        Like

  10. renxkyoko

    It ‘s on Netflix, a new addition or release, and I’m planning to watch it soon…. but….. sounds like you think it’s cr*p…… so I won’t. I don’t have time anymore for movies that are not recommended.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. Nicole Nevermind

    We miss you too! Ugh ‘I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE’ sounds to me like it should more properly be called ‘I AM THE PRETENTIOUS TWATWAFFLERY THAT FOOLED YOU INTO THINKING I MIGHT BE A DECENT HAUNTED HOUSE FLICK HAHAHA’ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  19. Moody Moppet

    Wow, Eric. I forgot what you look like already! Great review, especially your ticking OCD. I have that too, you know. I can’t stand misplaced items. Don’t think I’ll ever catch this one, though it seemed to have potential at first. Great name. I’m way to busy binging through Penny Dreadful at the moment. If you’re an Eva Green fan, that’s the series for you. Good to have ya back, pal 🙂

    Like

    Reply

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